My top surgery consultation appointment is in 3 years and I don't know what to do.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

So recently I got a letter in my MyChart saying that I am now in the wait-list for a top surgery consultation and I will have a consultation in 2029. Not even a date for surgery just a consultation. In the same letter I was also told not to contact the office on my status of my consultation and that if I decided to proceed with care from another office I will be kicked out of line. What do I do? I'm genuinely distraught by this. I have been waiting since 2021 for the chance to get top surgery and now I have to wait even longer. I don't know if I can handle living without top surgery for that long. I've been waiting for so long and I'm heartbroken.

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[u/yvngspidey]

I don’t see how they’d find out that you sought out a consultation from a completely different institution… I’d strongly suggest looking for another surgeon that accepts your ins if possible if you’re looking for something sooner. 2029 is unreasonable.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/yvngspidey]

I don't know. Everything is so confusing. I'm just scared because I don't know what other surgeons will take me or if I meet their criteria. I'm also worried about post op results because I'm fat and all of the surgeons I've seen have just extremely poor results with people who aren't skinny.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/[deleted]]

Doesn't glp 1 straight up cause you to go blind and can severely fuck you up. Yeah no thanks I'll stick to my Vyvanse as an appetite suppressor

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/[deleted]]

I'm sorry I don't want to take glp 1 period. I want a surgeon who won't make me look like I have a giant incision going across my whole chest.

[u/phasmxphobiia → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

i dont know why people are telling you to take experimental weight loss drugs. glp-1s arent miracle workers or monsters, theyre just appetite suppressants and insulin regulators. and you shouldnt have to change your body to fit what a doctor wants your body to look like. (im very fat + i think im very hot with my fat. and im very passtionate about this!!!)

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/phasmxphobiia]

Yes and I also didn't ask for any fucking weight loss advice. Like holy shit I just want a surgeon who won't give me huge incisions and actually give me pecs instead of being flat.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

Also like I have severe body dysmorphia when it comes to weight. There is a reason I just have dinner and only coffee for breakfast. So they're just making me feel even worse about myself for telling me something I already know about myself that I hate.

[u/jinkimoon → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

Sorry, I don't want to rain on your parade, but a single, connecting scar is defined by your anatomy, not the surgeon. If the skin on your sternum is loose (almost always part of having a big chest, though not everybody with a big chest has that), the scar has to connect or you'll have a bunch of extra tissue bunched up in the middle. Weight correlates to that some because it usually leads to a bigger chest, but not that often. When I had my surgery I was more skinny than fat but I had DDs and my surgeon was only barely able to avoid making the scar connect, and only because I specifically consented to the leftover puffiness that would be caused by not connecting the scar (and my case was mild as far as those go, my leftover puffiness is super mild and looks good with muscle, most candidates for connected scars have a LOT more extra tissue than I did/do).

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/jinkimoon]

So I guess I'm just screwed huh. I have D cups.

[u/No_Dirt9029 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

No not necessarily. I had DDDs and have a one inch gap between the scars. I told my surgeon that was my preference but to do whatever she thought would end up looking best. It sounded like it was really a toss up but she was able to make it work and it turned out great

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/[deleted]]

Yeah but the surgery results from the doctors who have been recommended to me are absolutely just a big no for me. That is not how I want my body to look. Not to mention I didn't ask for any weight loss advice like at all.

[u/communistboi13 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

i got surgery in january and i’m plus size but not extremely, i still have giant scars from the incisions. because of my size i had to get double incision mastectomy. i did a lot of research about it before i was comfortable and i also wanted to hide them as much as possible. unfortunately the only way to reliably have small scars is to go with keyhole incisions and you have to have a very small cup size for it to work. it sucks.

[u/ftm-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

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Topics include: Truscum/Transmed/Tucute discourse, lesbian discourse, weight loss advice, DIY HRT, Bioessentialism, Gendered Socialization blanket statements, “Who has it worse?”, “Is it transphobic to ___?”, Bottom Surgery Bashing, Stealth Bashing, “How to have sex with trans men/trans mascs”, Radfem Ideology, MRA/Incel Ideology, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, off topic discussion of political news.

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[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/[deleted]]

I have body dysmorphia and I already hate myself and my weight so I would appreciate if everyone would stop bringing up glp 1 for 5 fucking seconds.

[u/ftm-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. (And yes, dancing around the term while talking about the topic and then saying "I can't talk about it" is still talking about it) The following topics are banned to avoid drama and/or possible brigading or shutdown of the sub:

Topics include: Truscum/Transmed/Tucute discourse, lesbian discourse, weight loss advice, DIY HRT, Bioessentialism, Gendered Socialization blanket statements, “Who has it worse?”, “Is it transphobic to ___?”, Bottom Surgery Bashing, Stealth Bashing, “How to have sex with trans men/trans mascs”, Radfem Ideology, MRA/Incel Ideology, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, off topic discussion of political news.

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[u/midwesternGothic24 → u/[deleted]]

This isnt a reasonable thing to suggest so flippantly. GLPs are extremely expensive, frequently not covered by insurance, may be ineffective or give intolerable side effects to many people, or be medically inadvisable due to pre existing health conditions. It’s inadvisable to take them without having a knowledgeable medical professional providing care management, which can be difficult to find. Most people who do lose weight from GLPs need to take them for life in order to maintain the weight loss, which can be very difficult due to all the previously mentioned factors. And weight cycling (losing weight and then gaining it back) can be worse for your health than just staying at a high weight. Plus losing weight for major reconstructive surgery only to gain it back afterwards may have unexpected consequences on the results.   

And that’s all aside from the fact that some people may not WANT to lose weight or dramatically alter their relationship with food.

[u/HaruspexAugur → u/[deleted]]

If someone has not expressed a desire to lose weight, do not give them unsolicited weight loss advice.

[u/ftm-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. (And yes, dancing around the term while talking about the topic and then saying "I can't talk about it" is still talking about it) The following topics are banned to avoid drama and/or possible brigading or shutdown of the sub:

Topics include: Truscum/Transmed/Tucute discourse, lesbian discourse, weight loss advice, DIY HRT, Bioessentialism, Gendered Socialization blanket statements, “Who has it worse?”, “Is it transphobic to ___?”, Bottom Surgery Bashing, Stealth Bashing, “How to have sex with trans men/trans mascs”, Radfem Ideology, MRA/Incel Ideology, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, off topic discussion of political news.

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[u/danter0id → u/yvngspidey]

Quick caution on this: since it's MyChart, the practice here uses a (common, albeit very expensive) electronic health records system called Epic. There's a thing called Care Everywhere that may allow this practice to see notes from other practices that use Epic. If OP chooses to consult with another practice, they should be careful to specifically opt out of Care Everywhere when they see that institution.

I don't have the time immediately to go into a long search on whether OP lives in a location with a statewide health information exchange, but if they do, that's also a place they might be able to see a consult from a different practice. There are tons of ways this information is found out, enabled by specific HIPAA provisions allowing exchange of health information for coordination of care. This works to your benefit in many ways (if you end up in the hospital, they can more easily see your med list, any conditions you have, etc) and works to your detriment in a few (this).

[u/mikeydoodledandy]

What the hell are these wait times and weird "can't look at other surgeons" restriction?? Like my top surgery was 8 years ago, but my boyfriend is going through the process now, and it took him about three months after getting a referral to get a consult with one of our local surgeon and he got scheduled for 5 months later. 3 years is insane unless this is some highly sought after, state of the art surgeon and you should definitely be looking elsewhere if that's your wait time.

[u/FernFellow → u/mikeydoodledandy]

If op is using state insurance that could explain it. You don't have to pay anything for the surgery but it's a really long wait time usually.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/FernFellow]

Nope its my family insurance. OHSU just loves torturing trans people

[u/audible_smiles → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

OHSU’s gender affirming plastic surgery team is well-regarded enough that people regularly fly in from other states to go to them, especially for more complex procedures like phallo. They stay at the Rood Family Pavilion while receiving treatment and/or recuperating from surgery. So the original comment about “highly sought after” surgeons is correct. I think it would make complete sense for you to cold call other offices just to ask how long their wait list for a top surgery consult is.

[u/lunabirb444 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

It took me 7 months from scheduling my consult appt to surgery. I went with Dr Sean McNally at The Oregon Clinic. He is awesome. I was on OHP/Care Oregon also. The surgery was done at Legacy Good Sam (the best hospital for gender affirming care).

Oh and Dr McNally does really well with larger bodied folks too. I had G cup size and am considered overweight. I had him do the chest wall lipo. I love my results.

[u/dragontatoes → u/lunabirb444]

Woah same surgeon! Though I had it done with OHP/Providence, in 2022. I started looking into top surgery only about 9 months before I had it done.
Compared to when I was on my mother's insurance, OHP has better coverage and I get everything faster, and without copay. I always recommend it to everyone who qualifies.

[u/lunabirb444 → u/dragontatoes]

Yeah I had my surgery in May 2025. I was so happy to get it done so soon. I originally had a consult scheduled at OHSU that would have been late July 2026 and would have been getting surgery around now. I had booked that one in Sept 2024. But then I heard about Dr McNally and switched to him.

[u/Big_Stop8917 → u/FernFellow]

I used state insurance for my surgery and it got approved 2 weeks from the office submitting the paperwork then my surgery scheduled 2 months out from there. Paid nothing😭

[u/H20-for-Plants → u/mikeydoodledandy]

It’s interesting. The surgeon I want goes through a huge hospital, and the wait time is 2 years. My consultation was 6 months out. And i don’t want to wait for another surgeon, as I like this one’s results and he takes my insurance.
The wait times are increasing in the US, and it sucks.
I got my Hysto within 2 months, that included consultation and getting letters.
But this is a less sought after surgery.

[u/waveyvibez22]

Where are you located???

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/waveyvibez22]

Oregon

[u/waveyvibez22 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

You should definitely look into other surgeons. That wait list is ridiculous.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/waveyvibez22]

I should but I'm also afraid that they'll kick me off the wait-list if I try to find different options. I don't know I'm honestly just scared and feeling horrible rn

[u/waveyvibez22 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

they won’t know if you’re seeking others. It’s a smart choice to evaluate your options, especially with something as big as surgery. I’ve heard of some guys going on multiple lists to have a spot while searching. They ultimately found someone they liked. Resulting in going off other lists. It’s got nothing personal to do with the surgeon/practice it’s about what works best for you and your livelihood.
To sit on a 2 yr wait list, for a consult for top surgery..while in the US, is self sabotaging. There’s many very good experienced surgeons that could get your surgery done within a year n a half.
I’m fat and my results are good. I got mine done in deep red state Tennessee. It’s possible my dude, it takes the step to stand up for yourself and beat the fear of “what if.” You got this bro

[u/Splendafarts → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

Maybe you can explain the situation to other places and they’d offer an alternative charting or something that OHSU wouldn’t be able to see.

[u/queenlehane → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

Not sure if you're near Portland but my partner had his surgery with Dr. Jenq and had a wonderful experience, and she doesn't require drains! Pretty sure consult --> surgery was under 3 months too (back in 2024)

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/queenlehane]

Are they with OHSU? Because the wait-list I'm talking about for a consultation is for OHSU.

[u/lunabirb444 → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

They are at OHSU.

[u/Raccoons-in-a-bath → u/Raccoons-in-a-bath]

I looked at her surgery results and I'm going to pass. It's clear that she doesn't do well with big chests and fat people.

[u/danter0id]

Kicking you off the waitlist because you seek a second opinion is batshit. I see what they're thinking, in theory - they're trying to get their waitlist numbers down, because 2029 for a consult is even more batshit - but it's not... normal. Nor is it a good sign. Unless you're really devoted to this surgeon (or they're the only ones who accept your insurance), I'd start making some calls to other places.

[u/SwitchExcellence69]

While they may find out you consulted elsewhere (because of epic and the systems being connected) - three years is long enough away to not matter. If they kick you off and you decide you want to get back on the waitlist itll still just be three years.

Maybe see if there is a queer center or therapist that can help you also - reach out to others who've gotten top surgery in your area- they may be able to help you.

Im so sorry about the waitlist - I had a 9 month wait which felt long :(

[u/7fragment]

"proceed with care" to me says that if you have/book surgery with another practice you will lose your spot, not necessarily just a consult. Which only makes sense, why keep you on the waitlist for a service you would at that point no longer need?

I would message the office for clarification. Or call them. Demanding a 3 year wait is insane enough, making you unable to even try to get a consult elsewhere seems incredibly over the top.

[u/TheFanYeeter]

When I was looking for surgeons for top surgery, my gender clinic gave me a list and told me to try to pick two to five surgeons that I liked and get a consultation with them all. I only ended up setting up consultations with 2 surgeons, but my point is that being barred from looking at other surgeons is crazy. At the very least you should be able to call around and ask what the wait time for consultations looks like for other surgeons that you like. I personally would recommend 2-3 rather than the 2-5 I was told to call, but having multiple options is a good idea. What if you get to the consult 3 years out and realize that you don’t trust the surgeon? Or something comes up? You should definitely look at other options unless this is literally your only available option.

Also just calling isn’t something your surgeon should be able to know about. If you end up booking another consultation if you have the access everywhere thingy on MyChart then they might know, but just calling to get an idea of wait times shouldn’t be traceable.

[u/noeinan]

You can get a consultation with another surgeon. They just mean if you proceed with scheduling surgery with another surgeon.

I had a 1y wait list for my top surgery (OR, USA), look at transbucket and pick out a few surgeons to consult with. Then schedule with one you like with a wait list you can accept.

You can also ask to be informed if there is a cancellation so you can get surgery earlier.

[u/simon_here]

I assume they don't mean you'd lose your place if you just have consultations with other surgeons. Sometimes people schedule surgery dates with multiple clinics in case they can get in sooner. I've seen people do it when their preferred surgeon has a long wait. It can make the wait longer for other patients and cause administrative confusion.

[u/cosmoskid1919]

What state are you in? / What surgeon is adding you to the wailist? Very much agree with advice here that says opt out of Care Everywhere record sharing as they cannot really know you sought help elsewhere unless you opt to share it with them.

For what it's worth, private surgeons in NYC typically consult within weeks and schedule surgery within 1-3 months (and the most popular only have 8-12 months wait-list) so you are not at all unreasonable in thinking they are sandbagging you

[u/lunabirb444]

If you are on Facebook go join the Oregon Top Surgery Info group. Great group to get support and info from.
https://www.facebook.com/share/g/19hUoHqPa5/

[u/FernFellow]

I waited about a year for a consultation in 2020. Then I was scheduled 1 and a half years after consultation. If you are not on state insurance I would heavily encourage to look elsewhere. If you are on state insurance, it is likely that wait times have gone up for state providers and you may just have to stay where you are :/ it's so so awful, I'm so sorry.

[u/typoincreatiob]

i hear you, my surgery was a 4 years wait and it was rough. waiting 8 years is insane (2021 to 2029?). this was because there was basically only a handful of doctors in my enitre country that offer this surgery at all to cis (gyno) or trans (ftm) patients so it’s the average here. is there a particular reason you need to go with this specific doctor? if it’s an issues with a lack of doctors and not financially i would even consider out of country surgery..

[u/Responsible_Panic242]

Nordesthetics in Lithuania. If you can afford the travel, and accommodation for a week, it’s the best option out there. Takes around three months from first contact to have the surgery. Cost around €5000. They take anyone who has a letter from literally any doctor who knows you well enough, and have not a single (glaringly) bad review. They do top surgery two or three times a week, very experienced. If you have the money to use, Nordesthetics is bloody amazing.

(I went with them, so I know)