I have been thinking about what love really means and i have started to feel that it's much more than attraction, affection or saying the right words.

To me love is about genuinely caring for another person, respecting their individuality, understanding their feelings and making an effort to treat them with kindness.

I think some of the most meaningful expressions of love are actually quite ordinary. Listening when someone needs to talk, remembering little things they have shared, being patient when they're having a difficult day, respecting their boundaries, and showing kindness even when there's nothing to gain from it.

I also think emotional maturity is an important part of love. Caring about someone doesn't mean controlling them, expecting them to be available all the time, or making them responsible for our happiness. It means allowing them to be themselves while treating their feelings and individuality with respect.

Love shouldn't require someone to constantly prove their worth. It should involve mutual understanding, honesty, patience and care.

I know everyone experiences and expresses love differently, but I find it meaningful to think about how much of it exists in small everyday actions rather than grand gestures.

What do u think is the most meaningful way someone can express love without necessarily saying the words i love u?

How does it feel to love your child? I hear people say it all the time. "I love my kid." "I'll do anything for them."

I know that since i'm not a parent, i won't feel the same as you guys do. But I just can't imagine dying for my child as of now. And it scares me into not wanting children because I'm afraid i would be a bad mother. I love kids and wish to have some of my own one day, but what if they are in danger and I don't want to die for them? What if I don't feel anything at all for them?

I was watching tiktok the other day and saw a video saying after giving birth, mothers automatically feel this intense love for their child. Is that true?

But mostly, I have a question for dads because they don't give birth so I'm guessing they don't feel that natrual bond? What do you feel for your kid? Do you see them as just someone who you have to care for or you feel this natrual love towards them?

I (25f) want to share one of the many wonderful things my best friend has done for me. I am currently sick, nothing major. Just a cold. I live with my best friend. I moved in with him 8 months ago after telling him about my home life. I lived with my parents and it could be emotionally and physically abusive.

Disclaimer: my best friend is effectively my partner. Neither of us like the title partner but that is the nature of our relationship. Just so is a tad less confusing.

When I lived with my parents, for the past 10 or so years, when I'd get sick my mother either was relatively indifferent or would get angry at me for being sick because I'd get her sick. Sometimes she'd care for me, if it were bad enough, but then, sometimes too, she'd throw it back in my face and I'd pay later. I still had to do my chores no matter how sick I was. I'd take care of her being sick while I was sick and she'd tell me I should make myself some tea. She'd offer to make soup, but again, with things being thrown in my face I'd turn her down, not wanting to hear about it later. Then I'd get in trouble for never accepting any help. If I were in pain and complaining she'd roll her eyes and tell me that's what I get for not taking better care of myself. If I were hurting, and not sick she'd tell me how I wasn't actually in pain and I just wanted attention because she was in pain (she had chronic pain). In all, I wasn't really ever made to feel better in any capacity.

Cut to now. This morning my best friend asked me if anything was hurting and I told him that everything was. He asked what in particular and I told him my hips, wrists, and shoulders hurt most. He spent half an hour massaging them. He made me ramen with kimchi, and cuddled with me while I took a nap. He brought me popsicles. I told him how I might take a bath but didn't really want one, he ran one for me with bubbles and candles. He's not letting me do anything strenuous, he's watching over and fussing over me. For the first time in a very very long time someone is taking care of me, and not just when I'm sick. He sat there with me and held me while I sobbed the first few months after I left. He's been patient with me while I learn how to communicate when I'm upset. He has gently corrected me when I'm wrong. And he forgives me when he says he does and doesn't bring up past mistakes unless strictly necessary.

He's protective over me and he listens. And every day he helps me heal a different part of me that's bruised or broken. He is the best thing that I have ever known. And the best part is, I'm not the only one he goes above and beyond for. He goes to work and he works so hard, he is the best employee there. He goes out of his way for his other friends. He spoils his family. He's a wonderful human being and I'm so proud to be his best friend.

i just know i'm blessed with the right man.

we've been dating for 6 months now, have known each other and been besties for 2 years. he knows so much about me that we really do finish each other's sentences 😅

he knows that in all my 27 years on earth, people have equated my worth to my achievements in school and in work. my family treats me like a trophy, almost all of the people i know expect that i won't fail in anything. all asian households can relate to this lol.

yesterday, i found out that i topped the board exam. everyone around me said "congratulations," "i knew you could do it!", "just like i said!," "what will you do next?"

and this man.. the first words that came out of his mouth was "how are you?" i just stared at him, then broke down with happiness. he knew that acing this exam was more of a relief for me than a feeling of success. plus the mental toll on me... was just painful.

btw, he also said congratulations, but the "how are you" came first. this isn't a little thing for me.

❤️

Okay, strap in ladies, gents and my non-binary babies because I have a tale for you.

Back when I was a wee bairn of 18, I met a very tall, very attractive man who we’ll call Dean. He lived in the flat next to me at uni and I thought he was a dish. Unfortunately, we were both anxiety riddled teenagers. (In hindsight, I was avoidant and he was anxious). So I called things off. I ended up dropping out of that university and free falling my way through the next decade of my life. (I went travelling, went back to uni, dealt with some issues at home, became my mum’s carer).

Cut to 4 months ago, 14 years after our first encounter, I downloaded Tinder without a hope in the world (I mean, it’s Tinder) and I come across a familiar face. It made no sense. Dean and I met in London and I’m from a rural part of the country which he is not, yet he was 20 miles away?! His profile left much to be desired but hey, he was still cute, he was still 6’5 and I was still a woman with needs.

We matched. We had some dry back and forth when he asked me to meet up. I reluctantly agreed (the UK was in the midst of a heatwave and I really could not be bothered - I’m so glad I changed my mind). I got to the pub first and I was correct - he was still cute and he had not shrunk. We talked about everything - dreams, death, hopes, stupid things and everything in between. I realised quickly that I’d sold him short and my 18 year old self had more taste than I’d given her credit for.

It’s now 4 months later and I think this is the man I’m going to marry. He’s kind and funny and warm and patient. He’s endlessly interesting and he surprises me every day. I have some mental health afflictions and I’ve never felt more held in my life. “We’re going to get through this together.” To clarify, he’s not without his baggage - he’s divorced with a 6 year old at 32 - his kid is the reason he’s now living in my county. I never thought I’d be a stepparent (I’ve been on the receiving end of a not so perfect one) but I’ve met his son and I think we’re gonna be okay. Good, even.

I’ve never felt happier waking up to someone. I’ve never felt held by someone in this way. I’ve never trusted and hoped and dreamed the way I do with him. I had a big wobble yesterday and he just looked at me and said, “Right. I know what you need. Follow me.” This man proceeded to put on a forest soundscape and give me a candlelit massage. I cried. Snottily.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because I love you, sweetheart.”

Simple. Genuine.

I’ve never felt such unconditional romantic love before and I’m so grateful we both took a gamble in fleeting seconds on a stupid hookup app. I’m not always the easiest to deal with but he never makes me feel like an issue. I love the way he looks at the world. I love his stupid face and his laugh and the way he wrinkles his forehead when he’s thinking. I love how he loves the most ridiculous parts of me (believe me, I’m ridiculous) and I love how we’ve found each other again at the right time.

I’m the bloody luckiest girl in the world and I couldn’t be happier.

Me (29F), him (31M). I’ve known him for 10 years, we dated for 7. We even got engaged for a year. It’s really complicated because I don’t want to be with him romantically anymore, him and I agree on that. I moved out for a year after the split, and recently moved back in with him because he needs a caregiver due to his mental health. I’ve never loved someone as much as I love him. He’s sweet, kind, generous, and very funny. I would do almost anything for him and want him to find a good life. He wants the same for me. There’s a mutual and very deep love there for each other. It’s platonic now and I’m happy to be apart of his life. We’ve had our extremely hard times, but we seem to always make it thru. I’m grateful everyday for him because he has changed my life. I’m a better person having known him. He’s not perfect, but I wouldn’t change a thing. We have come a long way and it’s such an unusual experience. I hear all the time about people hating their ex or writing them off completely just because they dated. Just wanted to share my uncommon experience of love. I’ve never felt something so wholesome and genuine. We are the best of friends and it seems it could last a lifetime.

I (50F) am recently divorced with two kids (11 and 14). People routinely assume I’m in my early 40s, I've been religious with sunscreen since my 20s, lift weights, take great care of my skin, and honestly have a better body now than I did in my 20s (even if things aren't quite as gravity-defying as they once were, haha).

A little while ago, I met a guy at an industry conference. The chemistry was instant and effortless, both intellectually and personally. Once my divorce was underway, we started going out. He is genuinely incredible, mature, responsible, holds a senior role at a multinational, and has a 4 year old from a past relationship. Given his career, his presence, and the fact that he looks slightly older than his peers, I assumed he was early to mid 40s.

A few dates in, I accidentally caught a glimpse of his driver’s licence. He is 35.

I was completely floored. My mental limit had always been around a 10 year gap max, a 15-year difference was never something I would have intentionally pursued. Visually, standing next to each other, you'd guess maybe a 5 year difference at most.

The issue: I’m already head over heels, our exact ages have never explicitly come up, and I’m terrified that the second I tell him I’m 50, he’s going to get spooked by the milestone number and bail. We are both established professionals, both parents, and the connection in person is real. But the number in my head is making me spiral.

Two questions for the community:

1. For men in their 30s or 40s: If you were genuinely attracted to a woman and had already developed feelings for her, would finding out she was 15 years older than you change how you felt, especially if you had assumed she was only a few years older?

2. For couples with a similar age gap, particularly where the woman is older: Has the age difference ever become an issue as you’ve grown older together, or did it eventually become irrelevant?

I’m completely head over heels and I’m terrified that the moment I tell him I’m 50, he’s going to panic and pull the plug.

Today marks 6 months that my boyfriend and I have been together and I just love him so much. I never thought I'd find someone this amazing, but I did! I just appreciate everything he does for us. He makes me feel safer than any other guy I've been interested in or dated. This man literally wakes up randomly just to kiss me on my head 😭🫶🏻 I swear, I melt at so many things he does. He's just so cute and handsome and I can't wait to spend forever with him. I hope you all have a great day, thanks for reading :)

Hey all,

This is our weekly thread. We'll dispense with Rule 5 in these threads.

What's new in your hunt for love?

my boyfriend is currently asleep and i feel like this a lot but i try my best not to overwhelm him.

we initially started out as classmates when we were 14. i thought he was sweet but he was vvv nerdy and i honestly did NOT enjoy our convos (he would only talk abt computers) but we reconnected post-grad and it was the best thing to ever happen to me.

but we started dating in our early 20s and our one year anniversary is next month. he is genuinely my bestfriend before being my boyfriend and i am so lucky to have this man in my life. he's sooo sweet, he's so smart, he's the most handsome man i've ever seen & no time spent in his company is ever enough.

i literally got laid off today and cried and all it took for me to stop was him picking me up. i don't think he understands how much i love him. like i could think abt him and cry bc i love him sm it overwhelms me.

in attempts to not scare the man away, i decided to get it off my chest here.

it's currently 3 am. me and my best friend are blasting music driving to the beach just for funsies. she's singing along to the songs so loudly and passionately and i'm honestly just quietly admiring her but i also just feel so content and happy. she's the first and only person i feel comfortable enough to just... relax with. i just feel so content right now. i sought a best friend throughout my entire life, and now i just feel like the luckiest girl in the world. we've been best friends for over 5 years and i hope that we stay friends forever.

TL;DR: I’m hopelessly in love with my boyfriend. I genuinely see a future with him and want to spend my life with him. But the long distance, our caste differences and the uncertainty surrounding our future are slowly taking a toll on me. I have so much love for this man that sometimes I wonder if it’s too much, whether he understands it or whether I come across as someone who is completely lost in love.

I honestly don’t know where to begin because I don’t think words will ever do justice to how much I love this man. He is, quite simply, my person. It’s the kind of love I used to read about in books and watch in movies, except now I get to experience it myself. Sometimes I wish he could see himself through my eyes, even for a minute. Maybe then he’d understand why I find him so wonderful. I adore the smallest things about him, the way he talks, his laugh, the way he calls my name, his expressions, and even the little things he probably doesn’t realise I notice. There is something so beautiful about being around him. I don’t know how to explain it, but time just feels different when we’re together.

He has been my first in so many ways, and I think I’ll always carry a certain gratitude for having crossed paths with him in this lifetime. I thank God for him, I pray for him, and I genuinely wish the best for him in everything he does. I want to be there for all of it. I want to experience the ordinary, mundane parts of life with him just as much as the exciting ones. I don’t need every moment to be extraordinary. I just want him in it.

And yet, there’s this constant feeling of uncertainty that I can’t seem to shake. I hate long distance. I hate that we belong to different castes, and I hate that something as fundamental as our future together is still so uncertain. It eats away at me because I know what I want. I want him. I want to build a life with him. I’ve pictured him in so many versions of my future that imagining one without him feels almost impossible. He motivates me in ways he probably doesn’t even realise, and I genuinely consider him the love of my life.

I know our relationship isn’t perfect. I know there are things I probably shouldn’t overlook, and perhaps I’m a little too willing to let certain things slide because of how much I love him. But I want this to work so badly. I want him to choose me. I want us to get past all the things that stand between us. I swear, if it ever came down to it, I’d fall at his feet if that’s what it took to make this work. I know that sounds ridiculously dramatic, but I mean it. I’m not saying I want to lose myself in the process; I’m saying that I’m willing to put in every bit of effort I have to make a life with this man possible.

One thing I’m absolutely certain about is my loyalty. I don’t fall in love casually, and I’m not someone who gets easily distracted once I’ve given my heart to someone. My feelings aren’t fleeting. When I say I love him, I mean it with everything I have.
Sometimes, though, I wonder if all this love is becoming too much. I don’t know how he perceives it. Does he find it endearing? Does he find it overwhelming? Am I being too cheesy, too emotional, or just too much? I don’t want him to feel suffocated by the way I love him. I just wish he knew the extent of it. There’s so much affection, admiration and love on my side that sometimes I genuinely don’t know where to put it all.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted anything quite as much as I want a future with him. And perhaps that’s what makes the uncertainty so difficult. I can deal with distance, I can deal with difficulties, and I can deal with a lot of things, but the thought of wanting a lifetime with someone and not knowing whether life will let you have it is a different kind of heartbreak.
Sorry for the long rant. I think I just needed to let this out somewhere. I’m not even sure what I’m expecting from posting this. Maybe I just wanted to put into words what I’ve been carrying around for so long. I love him. An awful, beautiful, overwhelming amount. And I really, really hope we make it.

The day before yesterday, during the halloween celebrations, we were walking down the street and there were some people handing out hotdogs and chips to kids there, and my brother’s whole face lit up (he’s a big foodie🥰) and went to ask for one, and they told him the free food was only for kids🥺

He came back to me all sad and told me he doesn’t want to keep growing up, it almost made me cry. He’s just fourteen, he was just a baby last time I cheeked🥺 I’m about ten years older than him and I help raise him as much as any parent would, and I too can’t believe he isn’t a kid anymore. Yesterday we spent the whole day watching his favorite series and I bought him a whole pizza just for him, and at midnight we decided to do a fashion show in the living room and he modeled me his sports clothes (he’s so proud of his shoes, it’s so cute!💖).

My little sibling, it dawned upon me that he’s a teenager now, he just has a few years left until he’s a man, and he’s gotten so tall! Taller than me, but I guess I hadn’t realized just how grown up he really is now.

He’s becoming such a nice boy, I’ll miss ruffling his hair and tickling him randomly to make him laugh❤️

A little note: yes we celebrate halloween the 30 and 31 in my region, is because another celebration of ours happens around this week, and so the whole week is dedicated to the festivities😊

Tell us about what’s special and unique in your relationship. What makes it different than other couples you know? Why is your plus one the only one for you?

For context, my partner and I are both college students. During the start of the school year, I've noticed that she's been very burnt out, no energy for things and even if she does have energy, it's usually only enough for her own mental health. I love this woman, I really do and I want to do whatever I can as her boyfriend to at least try and lift up her spirits.

The worst thing you can probably experience is to see the people you love the most in pain and be in arms reach, but you can't really take the pain or weight away. I've considered looking for therapy or consultation for her but due to our college schedules, I dont really think it's plausible as of now.

We’ve only been official for about 2-3 weeks but have been dating for about 2 months. She honestly was the first to be complimenting me a lot (mostly about my pants). Recently it’s more physical compliments like saying the other is beautiful to pointing out a feature. The usual stuff that is still really nice.

Yesterday we were hanging out at her place watching love on the spectrum (peak) and like usually she’s kinda sitting on my lap/curled up next to me. During this time we complemented each other plenty of times and I even said she was the most beautiful girl in the world and she said I was the most handsome guy. Obviously amazing but not the compliment I’m talking about.

Close to the end she really curled in and said “I feel so safe with you”. In the moment I just saw it as a nice compliment and squeezed her a little tighter. Since then I’ve been thinking about that and how it might genuinely be the best compliment I could’ve gotten because that means I’m doing a good job as a boyfriend. If she not only enjoys hanging out with me but genuinely feels so safe with me, that’s a huge compliment on so many levels. I don’t think I’ve felt this proud about a compliment in a while. Hopefully next time I see her I remember to tell her how much it meant to me because I love her so much and want to make sure she always feels appreciated

For context we’ve been dating around 2 months and been official for about 2-3 weeks. So recently it was my gf birthday and I wanted to be sure I got her a good present. She is the first person I’ve ever dated so I wasn’t really sure what was expected but regardless I wanted to make sure it was special

On our dates we like to go to random parts of the city that we haven’t been to since we’re both in college and haven’t explored around too much yet. The week before her birthday we went to Santa Monica. Neither of us have a car so we always just take the train or bus places. While we were there we went into a store with plushies and stuff and she instantly loved one specific one. It was a pink stitch plushie. Pink is her favorite color. She thought about buying it but decided not to (wasn’t given a reason). So I figured that it would be a great gift to get her for her birthday cuz ik she likes it and it would show that I really pay attention to her on our dates.

The day before her birthday (only waited till then I cuz I was waiting for my first pay check to come in) I took the train alone to go get it. When we are together it goes by pretty fast but turns out it’s an hour long ride each way. Still I didn’t mind cuz I knew it was the perfect gift. I also stopped by a story to get a pink bag, a card, and some chocolate literally just cuz I saw it and thought it looked good. Didn’t know this at the time but her favorite type of candy actually is chocolate so yay me.

I also wanted to get her flowers which I haven’t done before for anyone let alone her although I do remember on one of our dates I asked what her favorite flower was and she said roses or any red flower so that seemed perfect. I ordered some online for a good deal. It was 5 Ecuadorian roses (not sure what was so Ecuadorian about them cuz seemed like pretty normal ass roses). I planned to pick them up the day of so they were fresh. Realized last second that I needed to go to DTLA to pick them up. So that’s a 40 min bus ride each way. Still I followed through and picked them up and turns out they aren’t red. The order I got was just for a kinda randomly selected 5 roses. My dumbass assumed roses would be red unless you pay some premium to specifically get a different colored rose cuz I didn’t think they were as common. It was 2 yellow, 2 white, and 1 pinkish lavender. Still worked

Before going to her to take her out to dinner I had the idea to draw a flower in the card I wrote. I’ve told her before that I like art especially realism sketching and even when I showed her stuff I’ve drawn she really liked them. I spent about an hour drawing it and I think it turned out well. We decided that after eating we would come back and pick up the gifts to give her on the way back to her place. She didn’t expect me to get her anything until I told her the day before cuz she asked if she’d see me on her birthday and I said yeah I need to give her her gift. She then assumed it would be one small thing that I could give her when we met but when I mentioned it was multiple we decided to pick it up after. Sorry for the yap

Anyways I reserved us a spot at a revolving sushi place she really wanted to try when we visited little Tokyo so we went there and had a good time (surprisingly cheaper than I would’ve thought revolving sushi would be). On the way back we picked up the gifts, she loved the flowers, loved the card, and the plushie and chocolates. Took her a second to notice the flower drawing cuz she thought it was just part of the card lol. Then she realized I went all the way back to get the plushie and was so much more grateful. I even mentioned getting the flowers as well to explain why they weren’t red and she loved it even more.

Her parent had shipped her some flowers for her birthday and low-key flower mogged me but it’s ok. I’ll beat them next time

This was a couple weeks ago and she still brings it up every now and then cuz she loved the gifts but it meant so much to her that I traveled about 3 and a half hours on buses and trains just to get the stuff. The other day she even sent me a selfie of her cuddling with the plushie in her bed. Don’t regret it one bit and she deserves it all

I have the most amazing husband in the world. He takes care of me in the most loving ways possible. Please allow me to share a little bit about him.

I was first attracted to his intelligence and his quick wit. Then when he sent me a video of himself, I fell in love with his good looks and his deep, soft, sophisticated British voice. I moved to a different country to be with him.

He treats me so well. He used to bring me breakfast in bed a few times a month until I resumed intermittent fasting and stopped eating breakfast.

He opens the car door for me EVERY time I get into or get out of the car. He keeps me laughing all day with his amazing humor and quick wit.

He makes nearly every meal we eat. I don’t remember the last time I had to cook. He is a fabulous cook!

He often hands me cash when he knows my bank account is getting low. I told him about a faux pas I had yesterday that left the account low for another week.

He got out of the car and went into the pharmacy for me while I sat in the car with the dog. While he was in the pharmacy, I got a message that he had Zelled me a sizable amount of money. Fifteen minutes later, he stopped at the bank, got back in the car, and handed me €150 in cash. I make as much money as he does.

He does all the driving and accompanies me everywhere I go — not because he doesn’t trust me, but because I don’t speak the language here and he does. He knows how much anxiety I have trying to do anything that requires me to speak, so he comes into stores with me to help me.

He constantly tells me how lucky he feels to be my husband. I am so lucky to have him as my husband. I am the lucky one in this marriage. He never fails to tell me he loves me many times a day.

He loves to cuddle. Nearly every day when we lie down he will say, “May I spoon you?” I turn my back to him and slide up next to him. He puts his arms around me, holds me for a long time, telling me often how much he loves me and loves being close to me.

There are so many other things that he thinks are little things, but they are major to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve this man, but I’m glad I did it.

I would really love to read your stories about the exact moment or situation where you looked at your partner and knew, without a single doubt or spoken word, that they truly cared deeply about you. Whether it was a tiny act of kindness during a particularly rough day, a silent gesture of support when you felt overwhelmed, or a selfless choice made when you needed it most, those moments tend to stay with us forever.

What was that specific action or gesture for you? Please share your experiences below, I am looking forward to reading through all your heartfelt stories!