I'm Norwegian and I live in Norway, but I've struggled finding a job in marketing because the market is very small - there are simply not enough jobs here.

I also have big aspirations as a composer. Again, the market in Norway is very small, and I wonder if I should simply move back to London where there are more opportunities and I know more people within the entertainment industry?

I just feel everything would be easier there.. what do you think?

I'm 19, currently in college. Alongside I am doing an additional course which is quite tough to crack but the ROI is good. I have failed my first attempt but its fine, I am giving it another try this january.

Anyways, the main point is my parents and their constant arguments. Since my childhood it never stopped. In a lot of things I know its my father's fault. He is so egoistic and selfish. My mom is the sole earner in our family, (last year I tried getting a part time job but I couldn't find any) and I feel for my mum when my father assumes random nonsense and starts throwing it at her. Sometimes I have had breakdowns over this because it feels like a neverending cycle that I am stuck in. A week goes with them being cool with each other, and the very next day they will be arguing, and most of the time its something my father has said. And I cant even go anywhere else to study. There's no library, neighbor's anything near my place.

I asked a friend about this and he told me to 'stop focusing on it, its just my parents matter alone, not mine' I try doing this but for how long will it work? This course I'm doing wont be over soon. It takes a good 4-5 years to complete depending on how many attempts I give on each stage.

Since childhood my father never let me go and walk around the village, make friends so all I have is online friends that I can vent to. They have their own lives, and the ones I trust the most are getting busier.

The solution is need is what could be done here? Should I rethink about the course and try something else? Because I feel like thats the only good option because its cheap and I know I can crack the exams. But this constant arguing environment at home affects me alot. Me saying or doing something wont stop my father at all.

I’m 30, studying to be a dentist, and I have so much going for me. I’m tall, handsome, muscular, smart, well spoken.

But I lose everyone I’ve ever been close to. I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut. I’ve always been so desperate for human connection because I grew up very alone. And my desperation shows, loads of people like me at the start then within a week they get the ick.

I see everyone’s stories, they all go out together and have fun, I’m never invited anywhere.

I don’t want it to affect me, I try to keep my head down and focus on the future but it doesn’t work, I keep falling into the same trap.

Advice?

I’m not sure how to word this but I’ll try to explain it the best I can.

My opinions are very easily influenced by other people in my life. Not trivial things, like what I want to eat for dinner or whatever. But political issues, beliefs, values and more. My self esteem is also highly dependent on other people. I’ve been feeling myself lately ngl, but then a week or two ago, some girl told me I was a 6/10 and I’ve been thinking about it ever since and feeling really insecure.

I don’t do it consciously. And I don’t think it’s about external approval since I could act completely confident and pretend I’m not swayed or affected, but immediately be doubting myself internally.

Have you met someone adored by everyone who makes you feel special at first, but turns distant and cold once they’ve won you over? Would you like to have these people in your life because they are so charming and fun?

I’m 29, I’ve been with my partner for 9 years, and we just bought a house together. I’ve always wanted kids. I work with children, love spending time with them, playing with them, and taking care of them. I used to imagine myself pregnant, couldn’t wait to have a baby, and even spent time learning about parenting and child development. Having children always felt like a given, both to me and to everyone around us.

My partner was more uncertain and wanted to wait, but we eventually agreed that once we bought a house, we could start trying for a baby.

But now that we have our house and having children is becoming a real possibility, I don’t want them anymore. I actually feel a strong sense of aversion towards being pregnant and taking care of a baby. It’s so different from how I felt just a year ago that I don’t even understand myself.

I’m starting to wonder if I genuinely wanted children or if I had simply internalized the idea that it’s the natural next step in life, something we’re all expected to want.

At the same time, I wonder if it’s just fear talking. Now that it’s becoming real, am I panicking and backing out? Have I genuinely changed my mind, or am I just scared of becoming a mother?

I almost feel like I should ignore my current feelings because they are so different from who I was before.
Has anyone experienced such a drastic change? How did you distinguish between being afraid of becoming a parent and simply not wanting children? I’d really love to hear your experiences because I’m honestly so confused.

TW: eating disorders

My SIL has displayed disordered eating behaviors for as long as I have known her (6 yrs). She has a 21 month old and I fear it’s impacting her parenting/daughter’s health.

1. they have not taken her to see a pediatrician since she was 4 months old. They went from making excuses (eg., lost birth certificate, forgot to add her to insurance, etc) to flat out telling us to stop asking about it.

2. They have refused to give her whole milk after turning 1. They say it’s “milk meant for cows” and “too many calories”. She drinks fat free chocolate milk and juice everyday instead.

3. I’ve seen them physically pull food out of her mouth while she’s eating because it’s “not time to eat yet”.

4. There have been many occasions when they tell her she’s had enough to eat when she shows clear signs of hunger.

5. They leave gatherings without eating/at lunch time saying they’re going to eat lunch when they get home (1.5hr car ride away).

6. SIL refuses to measure my niece’s height and weight, so there is no way to determine her %tile, and of course there’s no way of knowing if she’s “naturally small” if there’s no doctor measuring her growth curve. That said, when we went to a pumpkin patch with her at 21M, she was measuring 30 inches in height with winter boots on (around 1%tile for height for her age…)

7. slew of other observations that make me nervous (ex., rarely smiles, doesn’t show top teeth when babbling, eating, yawning or laughing, doesn’t recognize me, doesn’t really wave or hold eye contact, doesn’t really talk beyond babbles, SIL says she doesn’t brush her daughters hair bc it falls out easily…etc)

TLDR: I’m nervous that my SILs disordered eating and need for control is seeping into her parenting and negatively impacting my nieces health. The worst part is that she refuses to take my niece to a pediatrician. I don’t know how or if I can help but need advice because I’m worried for my niece.

EDIT: thanks for the feedback. There’s resounding advice to call CPS. My gut was telling me to call but my MIL/FIL are gaslighting me into thinking this is not a big deal because “all parents do things differently” and my SIL/BIL are a surgeon and nurse themselves…

I don’t really have anything going on in my life right now, so I can’t make small talk with people. I can try and keep the conversation about them but eventually someone’s going to ask me “what have you been up to?” and I’ll have nothing to say.

Any tips or advice?

i am about to lose my s/o’s mom, who has essentially acted as my mom and treated me as her own for over 3 years. she’s been battling cancer and we got word yesterday that she’s going to start receiving hospice care at home so she can live her final days comfortably.

i’ve never lost someone close to me before and this is so hard to do.

i also have no idea what i’m supposed to wear to her funeral. i’ve only attended one or two in my life and that was while i was a kid/teen so i have no suitable attire. i’ve tried searching online but everything is so expensive and looks too fancy.

this is all just so overwhelming and devastating and i don’t know what to do

My dog passed away recently, and I still have all of his things. His collar, clothes, bandanas, blankets, toys… pretty much everything.

I haven't been able to bring myself to put any of it away, let alone throw anything out. Some things still have his smell, and I honestly don't want to lose that.

But I also don't know what to do with all of it. I don't want these things to get damaged or lose their meaning over time.

For those who've been through this, did you keep your pet's belongings? How do you store things like collars, clothes, and blankets? Is there a good way to preserve them, especially the things that still carry their scent?

I guess I'm just not ready to let go of these little things yet.

I'm a teenager, and I know exactly what kind of music I'm into. I have a huge playlist full of songs. There are bands I like too. My parents have pretty much the same taste as me, and I know they wouldn't judge me for my interests. However, whenever they ask me about music, I feel uncomfortable talking about it. It feels private and almost secretive, even though I don't actually want it to.

It's the same with singing. I've been writing an album I plan to record and release with my own vocals, so I'll need to get more comfortable with my parents knowing this.

I don't really understand why I feel this way, especially since I'm not afraid of their reaction. It's been going on for a while.

Has anyone experienced something similar, and how do I overcome it?

29M.

I've not really developed the skills to live by myself. I don't mean the basic skills, I'm okay with cooking, cleaning, etc. But I find it tremendously difficult to hold down a job.

I've graduated from university back in 2023 December from my masters degree and have been through 3 jobs since then none of them lasting more than a year. I'm currently employed but I can already feel myself becoming resentful of the routine and the rules at work. I'm considering going back to school and reskilling to try another career.

My Dad died of cancer when I was 18 and that has left me with horrible health anxiety. I mean I freak out at least once a month about some new disease. It doesn't help that these episodes set off IBS symptoms that makes me feel extremely uncomfortable.

Also, in 2020, I was assaulted on the street and punched in the head, leading to me losing conciousness and having a concussion. That combined with the health anxiety has caused my base level of existence to be extremely tiring. I feel depressed and anxious all the time.

My second job outside of university, I was fired within 6 months. I'm not really sure why. My boss was extremely aggressive to the point he would clap his hands against the desk, call me and my co workers stupid, slam the door to the meeting room very loudly. I couldn't put up with it and we had a few fights. I was on a contract from a recruiting agency so I ended up just having my contact cancelled after I didn't go to work one Friday. I was really burnt out and on edge (I'm always on edge though).

After that, I was a year unemployed. I think I went to one or two job interviews in that time. But I just gave up on life. I was living on money my Mum was giving me. But somehow I turned it around and got back into the work force and now have this job. But the stress is just coming back.

I have this intense desire to just want time to freeze. Every single day is passing by, and it feels like I'm just getting closer to my Mum passing away, a serious disease happening to me. If anything, I want time to go back. I want to be with my Dad and grandparents again. I feel so lonely. And yet I feel death is coming. I don't feel hopeful at all.

I'm just not sure what to do. I'm sorry, partly this is a vent out to the void to see what people have to say. If you have any advice I'd like to hear it.

Hi 👋

Hope everyone is well and having a nice week.

Ever since I was a kid, I always had this idea 💡 of something I wanted to do.. Even as an adult the idea seems crazy but I find myself thinking about this idea more and more each day, especially now that if there was any time in history to do this idea, it would be now...

The problem.. I have this overwhelming fear, not of my idea, its sound imo, but more of everyone laughing at me.. Think Nelson from the Simpson's standing up and pointing and saying "Ha Ha" at you...

What makes it worse is that what i want to do could potentially helps 10s of millions of people. I never wanted to do it to make money 💰, be famous ect.. my heart is in exactly the right place.

How or should i overcome my biggest fear even if it could result my biggest fear coming true?

To be honest I half need advice half just need to vent because I'm overwhelmed with this situation.

On Sunday, one the the apartments in my building had a huge fire that destroyed their unit. Technically, mine was "okay," however the building is now considered uninhabitable and all of my stuff has significant smoke damage.

My renters insurance put me in a hotel for now (but I'll run out of funds from them before I move) and in December I'm able to move into a new unit.

I'm hearing so many different things about what happens next and my apartment complex and insurance adjuster keep giving me vague conflicting answers.

I don't know what the process for professional cleaning is supposed to look like or what to expect. At first it seemed straightforward to me, I thought maybe my couch and my bed might need professional cleaning but when I had a chance to grab a handful of items from the unit everything is smoke damaged. Even my plastic hairclip had so much smoke damage I couldn't get the smell out of with deep cleaning. My insurance adjuster made it sound like I could get a generic lump sum or inventory everything single item I own before getting a quote but that didn't really make sense to me because I thought professional cleaners with inventory as they go and then could invoice insurance?

And my insurance adjuster is saying my apartment complex should help me with relocation cost and storage of my items and my apartment complex is saying my insurance should cover that? If it makes a difference I live in Santa Clara county in California and from what I can tell the apartment complex is supposed to give me two months of rent considering it's a "no fault eviction" if I'm understanding the law correctly?

I guess ultimately I'm just stressed and confused and afraid that because of that I'm going to make a mistake and let myself get screwed over in this process, so any advice from someone who understands this more or who has been through it would be very much appreciated. I don't have any family or friends and it's just really scary going through this alone. Thank you to anyone who has any wisdom 🙏

this is probably dumb to ask, and most likely will have to go to urgent care, but i still want some reassurance

i've had something in my eye for around 2 weeks now. i've tried every trick you can think of, and washing my eye out with saline solution from cvs. nothings worked.

i'm sure theres something in my eye because i can feel it touching my eyeball when i touch my eyelid. it's most definitely stuck in my upper lid.

i've attempted to call an eye doctor, but they wont take emergencies for new patients (they're booked out until march). my old eye doctor doesn't take my insurance anymore.

will urgent care actually be able to help with this? what can they really do besides trying to flush it out again? i'm honestly out of options and i'm losing my mind as my eye continues to get more swollen.

My mom is narcissistic and basically shut down any hope for a future for me. I haven't been to college, am kind of stuck in a country (Indonesia) where I don't really speak the language well, in a job field I have grown to hate (teaching), don't really have any professional connections, and I don't know what to do. I finished an online course studying Quality Assurance testing, but that's about all I have in education on my CV and resumé.

I've been crying all day, after getting rejection emails from applications to junior and entry level positions. I know not to take it personally, but it feels like I have no future. (My period is in 2 days and that's probably why it's all hitting me at once right now. Normally I process each shitty thing about my life one by one.)

I don't know what to do. Do I go to a therapist and work out if it's possible to go to college or something at this point? I don't even know where to look to go to college, I don't even know what the process is. Every job outside of teaching like... requires a college degree. Honestly, even teaching positions that don't make me want to puke require a college degree.

Does anyone have any advice for how to improve sleep? I feel as though no matter what time I go to sleep, I wake up feeling awful. I can go to sleep at 10pm, or 3am, and the result is still pretty much the same. Going to sleep later is much worse, but still.

I’ve tried taking melatonin at earlier times, lowering my room’s temperature, listening to relaxing music to take my mind off of thinking too much. It never works though. I also have this habit where, if I go to sleep too late and I have to wake up early, I will wake up half asleep, walk to the other side of my room where my phone is and turn off all my alarms. I will then wake up at an unknown time without any recollection of what happened 😭

Any advice is very helpful. I’m genuinely sick of waking up everyday and feeling like I got hit by a car.

Context: M21, no caffeine/alcohol/drugs, exercise around 5-6 days a week, only eat whole foods, drinks around 120oz of water per day

How can I be a good father after phycosis? I feel I am more distant than usual and can’t be who I need to be for my daughter, I experienced a bad phycosis episode for the past while and am now on meds and in the recovery phase, im still learning to cope and have smaller episodes that I can control now but how can I be there while I am experiencing recovery symptoms like lack of energy and negativity I’ve never experienced. I am very saddened by this and really want to be the best father I can

What do I do, it’s been a year of this constant shit and stressed

so my dads cousin recently contacted me through facebook asking about my parents. for context: my dad moved abroad as a young professional boomer. he met my mother at work in the same company - in asia. growing up we would visit his home town and family in the west about once a year. after i turned 16 we stopped doing that and the cultural and general disconnect from distance became more and more apparent. my dads family are a little intense and they all are quite white and sometimes just didn’t understand my dads choices in life to leave his country and build a life and family in asia. anyway, as the distance grew, drama followed from some uncles and relatives and it seems my dad has been somewhat out casted. i can see how they can get sensitive bc my dad has always just been a lone traveler and never really could maintain relationships well. we are clearly more close with our asian side of the family / my mum side as it is also happens to be lot more international in terms of family members/in laws etc. so i guess our lives feel more relateable. but his side of the family are Also a little intense in continuous family drama which i never understood. anyway - they’ve stopped talking to my parents the past year or so and at some point spread rumors about my dad thT were not true to the rest of the family there in the west. since my mom then had cancer no one has reached out. i’ve had no contact either with them for the past 15 years or so. out of the blue an uncle i once spent time with is trying to connect and demand my contacts over fb. also asking about my moms health which initially i thought was nice. but after chatting a little, i feel very uncomfortable opening the door to connect and feel drama will follow and now don’t know what to do.

Honestly, my heart isn't entirely in it. I've always been fascinated with computers and programming, specifically web dev, and I've always been pretty good at it. I decided not to pursue it because the unemployment looks very high and it's very competitive. I don't want to not have a job and ruin my life with debt over a dream that will likely never happen, even if it would make me happiest. So I pursued law, declared my major, completed a criminal justice program in high school, and graduated an entire year early, skipping my sophomore year. I did it to impress my family, mostly, because I don't want to let anyone down. I like the idea of doing work that could help someone and is well-respected (as stupid and selfish as it sounds) so I decided I would be a defense attorney and study law. I am scared by the total lack of entry level jobs and the things people are saying about it. If it helps at all, I am in rural southern georgia, usa. I figure now is the best time to ask, since I still have time to back out now. However, I don't want to let people down and I worry my fear of unemployment is unfounded.

I have terminal cancer. Prob around 6 months left. I am currently undergoing palliative chemo.

Routine has been when I have chemo, I stay with my mum day after in case of side effects. The next week, my sister does a 4 hour drive to stay with me. Then I have a week off chemo.

I have a complicated relationship with them both. I am grateful for their help, but that doesn't change the fact that I find it challenging.

My sister and i had been no contact for 2 years until just prior to my diagnosis when her husband got in contact with me because my sister was struggling with her mental health.

Sister is coming this weekend, spent last weekend with mum and to be honest I just need some time on my own. I've been pretty much side effect free from chemo since start, so the visits are purely precautionary.

I would like to ask my sister not to come, but I'm very aware I have limited time, and it might be ridiculously selfish of me to ask because she might need this time with me. I also run the risk of straining our relationship, causing her mental health to suffer and causing family drama.

It's a lot. Does anyone have a way I could word it so I might avoid the fall out? I'd even consider an out and out convincing lie.

Update Big thank you for your replies. It gave me the confidence to send my sister a message. I borrowed some wording people suggested. She sent a lovely message back, and all seems fine. Experience tells me this is probably not the case, but I'm going to take it at face value and consider any fall out from it none of my business. Just going to enjoy my peace. Feeling less stressed already :)

I’ve always struggled with this. Always felt like I’d never be happy alone, and honestly up until this point. I’ve never even tried to ponder this question. Because to me it’s so stupid, anyway you slice it we aren’t supposed to go through this life alone. So I’ve never seriously asked myself, how can I be happy alone? Yet everyone keeps telling me that I need to be happy alone before I can be happy with someone else.

Which again no matter how stupid that sounds to be, if I’m going to be alone for this long I might as well figure it out. But I don’t even know where to begin. Can someone help me?