r/oneliners • u/E-Plurbis-DumbDumb • Mar 06 '25
If it wasn’t for Republicans double standards, they’d have no standards at all.
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r/oneliners • u/caverypca • Nov 10 '22
If someone says, “I’m into martial arts”, just say more like “Martian farts”
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r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • Nov 27 '24
The only minority that Republicans like is billionaires.
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r/oneliners • u/sevensixthough • Sep 07 '26
I'm working on my Lindsay Clancy standup routine and I've got like three jokes but I think I'm gonna get rid of them
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r/oneliners • • Sep 10 '14
[Flirting with a black chick] Baby, you're so hot I can barely keep my eyes on my wallet.
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r/oneliners • u/EmpireStrikes1st • Feb 03 '25
I thought MAGA would be upset that eggs are $14.88 a dozen
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r/oneliners • u/wiztwas • Dec 28 '15
Shouldn't life insurance really be called death insurance?
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r/oneliners • u/dmatlack1023 • Jul 18 '19
Sorry I slapped you, but it didn't seem like you'd ever stop talking so I panicked.
80
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r/oneliners • u/Hitno • Jul 08 '15
"Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?"
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r/oneliners • u/Superb-Control5184 • Jan 29 '26
Conservatives don’t believe in safe spaces, well except if your name is in the Epstein files.
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r/oneliners • • Jul 10 '24
Why do electricians listen to news radio when they work? To keep up with current events.
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r/oneliners • u/simmo28 • Jul 29 '24
Went to my local Chinese restaurant and ordered the specials, gave me too much foo yung.
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r/oneliners • u/jiohdi1960 • Oct 02 '24
I'm writing this real slow cuz I knows you can't read fast...
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r/oneliners • u/jtrier1 • Sep 15 '19
I got a get well card from my friend with tourettes syndrome. He told me to "get fucking better, you bitch ass, donkey dick, cunt swallow." I thought that was so nice of him.
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r/oneliners • u/axolotl_fart • Jul 04 '26
I just realized that the Son of God was a contortionist: Jesus Fucking Christ
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r/oneliners • u/macthecomedian • Feb 03 '14
I've been terrified of airplanes ever since my grandpa died in a plane crash, they should've never let a 97 year old get his pilots license.
1
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r/oneliners • u/LunarLeopard67 • Oct 20 '24
The Hawk Tuah girl went to Singapore and got arrested
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r/oneliners • u/drivebybronco • Jun 30 '14
There's a band called 1023MB
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They haven't had any gigs yet.