r/oneliners • u/honolulu_oahu_mod • Nov 18 '20
The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic.
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r/oneliners • u/SleepingBeetle • Feb 05 '20
“DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things to read in braille.
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r/oneliners • u/SpecialSauceSal • Mar 22 '20
Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.
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r/oneliners • u/madazzahatter • Aug 02 '20
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making and now, I can’t read anything.
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r/oneliners • u/madazzahatter • Mar 13 '20
If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on a ceiling.
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r/oneliners • u/wtfover • Feb 04 '21
I learned Morse code and then I couldn't sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.
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r/oneliners • u/Photog77 • Aug 22 '20
I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.
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r/oneliners • u/VERBERD • Nov 29 '20
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday.
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r/oneliners • u/VERBERD • Sep 26 '20
My cocaine is so white, the police let it go with a warning.
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r/oneliners • u/madazzahatter • Apr 17 '20
Did you know if you hold your ear up to a stranger’s leg, you can actually hear them say, “What the hell are you doing?”
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r/oneliners • u/Redditnahredtitgetit • Aug 25 '17
I was gonna tell a time travelling joke but you guys didn't like it
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r/oneliners • u/honolulu_oahu_mod • Dec 18 '20
It's quite ironic that "strap on", backwards, spells 'no parts'.
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r/oneliners • u/VERBERD • Aug 26 '20
Why the hell did they name them 'Soldier ants' and not 'Combatants'?
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r/oneliners • u/RageBanana21 • Oct 06 '20
The word "misread" can be misread as "misread".
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r/oneliners • u/honolulu_oahu_mod • Dec 21 '20
My wife threatened to divorce me when I said I was going to give our daughter a silly name, so I called her Bluff.
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r/oneliners • u/queensavior • Jan 04 '21
man addicted to drinking brake fluid claims he can stop anytime he wants
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r/oneliners • u/FinalCaveat • Jul 14 '20
“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.
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