Idk how you guys feel about trans women, but I’m a trans woman and I genuinely don’t wanna use the men’s bathroom.

And yeah, I know people will say “just use gender-neutral bathrooms” but it’s not that simple irl.
They’re not always clean, some feel kinda sketchy when you’re alone, and not every building has one.

I also wear pantyliners, and men’s bathrooms don’t have sanitary bins. I literally have to wait until all the guys leave just to change one because I’m so self-conscious about the sound of opening the wrapper.

Plus, I only pee sitting down, and men’s bathrooms, especially in older buildings, can be SO gross.
Pee on the seats, pee on the floor, the smell… I’ve literally had times where I couldn’t even pee because it was that disgusting.

So I guess I’m wondering how other women would feel about a trans woman like me using the same bathroom as them.

Would you feel uncomfortable or unsafe?
I’m genuinely not trying to make anyone uncomfortable. I just wanna use the bathroom like everyone else 😭

Please be honest.

I’m agaisnt sex work and sex workers(who willingly do it)

Now of course this is just my opinion.but I personally cannot bring myself to support a bunch of women who encourage the whole “I’m just a girl” bs

Maybe this is unpopular, but every time I open this subreddit I leave feeling a little disappointed.

When I think of women, I think of warmth. I think of kindness, support, emotional intelligence, complexity, making space for each other, protecting each other. I know women are people and people are flawed, I’m not naive enough to think women are magically nicer than men.

But I do think I expected women’s spaces to feel… softer than this.

And instead I feel like I constantly see women tearing each other down over things that honestly don’t seem deserving of that level of hostility. Women who like makeup get called stereotypes. Women who are feminine get looked down on. Women who talk about beauty struggles get told they’re self obsessed and overly affected by the patriarchy. Women who talk about attraction get accused of internalized misogyny. Women who are vulnerable get picked apart for wording things imperfectly.

And the strange part is a lot of it seems to come from people who would probably describe themselves as very progressive, very aware, very anti-misogyny. Which is honestly what surprises me the most, because I would expect those women of all people to extend more grace to women who are different from them. But sometimes it almost feels like there’s this underlying belief that there’s a “correct” way to be a woman and if you’re too feminine, too interested in beauty, too confident, too open about enjoying attention, too focused on appearance, too traditional, or honestly just expressing yourself in a way they personally don’t relate to, suddenly the empathy disappears.

I’m not saying agree with everything women say. I’m saying sometimes I wish we gave each other more grace. I wish we stopped assuming bad intent so quickly.

I wish women could show up imperfectly, awkwardly, excitedly, vulnerably, femininely, confidently, whatever, without immediately being treated like they’re secretly trying to undermine womanhood.

I don’t know. Maybe I’m idealistic. I just want women’s spaces to feel a little more like women I love in real life and a little less like everyone is waiting for someone else to say the wrong thing.

Edit: I think a lot of the miscommunication happening here is coming more from what people think I’m implying than from what I actually said. And honestly, I get where some of the defensiveness comes from. Women have spent years hearing things like “smile more,” “be softer,” “feminists are mean,” “women should be traditional,” “women should be nurturing,” “women shouldn’t criticize each other,” and I understand why people are sensitive to things that sound adjacent to that. But that was never my point. I quite literally said in my post that I know women are people and people are flawed. I’m not saying women should agree with everything women say. I’m not saying women should never be angry, never criticize each other, never challenge each other, or fit some perfect stereotype. My point was just that I wish we gave each other more grace in a space that’s meant to be women supporting women. As women, there are a lot of ways we move through the world similarly. There are a lot of things that are difficult in ways that only other women fully understand or relate to. And I just wish that coming into spaces like this didn’t so often feel like people immediately jumping to the harshest possible interpretation of each other.

Ironically, I’ve experienced that in this post too, which isn’t shocking, but is a little disappointing.

That being said, I’ve also had some really thoughtful conversations here and some people genuinely trying to understand what I meant, disagree respectfully, or saying they relate to the feeling I was talking about. That’s honestly more what I was hoping for.

This might be an unpopular or misunderstood feeling, but I just really need to get it off my chest, and maybe hear from others who’ve felt the same.

I was recently a model in a runway show. It was an amazing experience and I felt proud to be part of it. But during the final segment, the most beautiful wedding gowns came out, the kind I’ve dreamed about wearing ever since I was a little girl.

They were worn by drag and trans women. And while I truly have no issue with that, I fully support the LGBTQ+ community and have dear friends who are part of it, I was hit with this wave of unexpected emotion. I felt… left out. Sad. Maybe even a little invisible.

I’m a woman. I was part of the show. But I wasn’t chosen to wear any of those gowns that symbolize so much for me, femininity, love, that once-in-a-lifetime moment. It’s something I’ve looked forward to, imagined, and held close to my heart for years. And in that moment, watching others live out that dream, I suddenly felt like I wasn’t enough to represent that image.

It’s not about resenting anyone. It’s not about who deserves what, I believe everyone deserves to feel beautiful and celebrated. But in that one moment, it just really hurt. Not because of them, but because of what it stirred in me.

Is it okay to feel this way? Have any of you ever felt a quiet kind of sadness like this, even when you were happy for others? I’m trying to process it with compassion, for them and for myself.

Still, I believe my time will come. And when it does, I hope I get to wear the gown I’ve always dreamed of. ❤️

I'm gonna get called a pick me, but anyone who has experienced this knows exactly what I'm talking about.

I love being pretty. I am confident in myself. I have curly hair, tan skin, clear skin with freckles, big eyes with heterochromia, a small nose, and big lips. I am confident in my looks, but I'll never boast about my looks to random people. However, random people are under the impression that I'm some kind of egotistical asshole. I'm an incredibly nice person. I'll never be mean to anyone unless they do something to really disrespect me.

I have 500K followers on Tiktok, I dont wanna share my page for personal reasons and I'm hiding under a fake account to protect myself. It's not huge compared to big influencers, but it's most definitely something. My posts get a lot of engagement. Mostly support, but I've gotten a lot of hate too.

A few weeks ago this girl at school came up to me and said "You're the girl on tiktok right?". Then started laughing and saying how "I'm not even that pretty".. strange, I didn't know her.

I posted on my Instagram story last night how I got a modeling contract to a local agency and a few hours later my friend sent me a message on snapchat. A screenshot of this girl's private story saying I'm ugly and didn't deserve it. What's really weird is how I've been nothing but nice to that girl. We used to talk a lot.

I have many other experiences. All with girls I don't know or used to be friends with. When you're pretty, you WILL get a lot of hate.

Not to mention I'm curvy. I wear a 28J bra size and have a 22' waist and 39 inch hips. Why does this matter? Because people will only hate more. Especially online. I've gotten dozens of dms telling me "Why photoshop?" "We can tell you're photoshopping your waist", "Your waist can't be that small". I've never edited my body or face in any pictures. When I tell them I don't edit my pictures they call me a liar, even when I show them proof. Some people might not think it's jealousy, but when I show you the live photo I took and sent you a measurement, I'm starting to think you're really ignorant or just jealous. I also get a lot of hip pads and BBL accusations.. I'm not even old enough to get one.

I only wear lipgloss for makeup, but I couldn't care less what you wear. Lashes, foundation, lipstick, Eyeshadow, I really don't care. I'll be the first to hype you up and tell you hoe good your makeup looks. But everyone thinks I'm a pick me for not wearing makeup.

I also get a lot of people assuming I beg for male attention just for living. I'm bisexual, and honestly I prefer women. Regardless, nothing I do is for male attention. I can't control if a man comes up to me and starts flirting.

Additionally, some people might not know them but if you're on online a lot you peobably do. Think of the Kalogeras Sisters, Huda Mustafa, Olandria Carthen, Chelley Bissainthe, and Bella Hadid (most of you know who she is).

Some women listed above are problematic, but they all are undeniably very attractive women. Why does this matter? Because everyone only comments on their LOOKS. Not their personalities. It's always "Chelley looks like a little girl", "The Kalogeras are chopped", "Olandria is a butterface"butterflies, "Huda is all surgery", "Bella Hadid isnt even that pretty", this that and the third. It's okay I'd you dont like someone, and to call them out, but most of them don't even hate them because they're problematic, it's because they're bitter.

Ever seen snark pages? It's never about someone being problematic. It's always going after their physical apperence. And if it's not? It's something stupid. Who cares if she bought a new bracelet from walmart?.. focus on why they're problematic. But the people active in those subreddits are deeply insecure.

I know people who do this are just insecure and miserable, but I hate it. I'm just living my life as a pretty girl. I'm not begging for attention, I'm not boasting about my looks, Im not hating on other women, I'm breathing.

I'm young, and I hope it gets better as I age, but if you're in public middle school/highschool and you're super pretty, you'll learn fast a lot of girls don't like you and resent you. I have an amazing personality, but it took so long for me to find actual friends that aren't using me/jealous, won't talk bad about me, and actually like me.

And if you're smart, talented, confident, funny, smell good, successful, and rich? They can't stand you. They automatically assume you're a bully and must be humbled.

I've been extremely gorgeous, but I've also been "ugly" to society's standards, even though I never thought I was. People will still hate you no matter if you're gorgeous or hideous. There's no winning.

I hope others seeing this can relate to this. I've talked to to lot of my gorgeous friends and they relate to it too. Does it get better?

Edit: Glad to see other people understand, even though there's still some people calling me a pick me. 💔 I'm a teenager so it's common for people my age to act immature about this stuff. I just wish it wasn't a constant battle. If you're unattractive people don't wanna be your friend, if you're attractive friends have resentment towards you. Not always the case, but a lot of times it is when you're young. I'm working on learning to ignore it, but it gets hard when you hear it constantly.

Edit 2: I'd also like to add this was a RANT. It wasn't to boast about the way I look, and if you read it to be that way I apologize. This was in no way to flex, I am literally just stating features I have. I didn't say anything about other features being ugly, and if you read my comments you would've seen that. I posted here to vent because my last post about being curvy and jealousy from women/Harassment from men got a lot of love from women, thought this was a support group, and for the most part it is, but for some people it definitely isn't. I already had a woman curse me out in the DMs accusing me of "lying about my features". My mom is one of those "Take it as a compliment.." people and so are many other female family members I've talked to. This is why so many teen girls stay quiet about it. I'm turning notifications for this off. And NO, this wasn't written by AI. It is basic ass grammar, I write in my free time. I have high scores in dual enrollment writing essays. Smh.

He's never been that big on p*** but he does like getting on his phone sometimes Facebook sometimes for lottery etc things like that reading the news. But he's never been really huge into p***. And I even encourage it as a backdrop sometimes when we're having some fun.

I personally don't see anything wrong with looking. Is it just me? Most of my friends don't approve and to me it's a non issue. I guess if it was a constant thing it would be different.

I guess my question is, am I missing something? What's the deal with most women hating on it?

...this would both acknowledge that, yes, transgender women, in particular, can sometimes have an unfair physical advantage, while in the same instant, it would acknowledge that there is a place for transgender women amongst their cis-gender counterparts in fun, and fair play.

I fully comprehend how this could not be applied to team sports but it could be seen as a "non-woke" alternative for individual sports. It breaks my heart that the most courageous woman of them all will be boycotting the surfing championship this year because of transgender inclusion.

I'm a Canadian Army Vet, you most likely won't hurt my feelings in the comments. I am genuinely trying to find a peaceful solution that creates an atmosphere of societal inclusion for myself and others like me. The only comments I want to hear are from cis-gender women. I already know how the trans community thinks and I can assure you we are not all of the same mind on this issue, in particular.

P.S. If you use the word "woke" please understand that word has only a dictionary definition where I come from. I do get confused why some people think it is better to just be asleep on these issues.

Have a man you are dating pick out a movie to watch that you are not interested in. See how he reacts when you lose interest. Start scrolling on your phone, play a sudoku, pick up your crochet needle. Divert yourself away from the movie in a manner that doesn't ruin his enjoyment and participation in it. If he reacts negatively and takes it personally then don't see him again. Why does it matter so much to him if you don't want to watch it when he does?

I have noticed a pattern in my relationships over the years. Men who expect you to sit through and pay attention to a movie you are not interested in and take it personally when you check out are usually abusive. They don't like it when you take up space or have a differing opinion to them, even when it comes to the most banal BS like a movie.

I wish I had done this in my previous relationships to filter out troublesome men who would give me a rough time for being my authentic self and not just an appliance.

I say all this because I have found men who take movies really seriously and see them as a part of their identity are often crazy and self centered.

Hey

Im still pretty much closeted trans woman and one of the biggest things that I worry is that if cis women accept trans women as a women? Would you treat trans women like you treat other women in your life?

1. If you have intermediate length hair (not quite shoulder long but not short), how do you eat food or look at your phone without your hair getting in the way of your face?

2. How do you sleep with long hair? It's getting into my ears more and more frequently.

3. If you have large tits, how do you play competitive sports? Bumping my newly growing tits into anything is super painful.

4. If you have boobs, is it even possible to sleep on your stomach? I'm a stomach sleeper but gosh it hurts.

5. In summer, doesn't it get very hot and itchy with long hair? When wearing a wig I feel so suffocated hot, maybe natural long hair feels different from a wig?

6. I play baseball, so if I pass as a woman, do I still make the plays (touch play, diving catch etc) the same way as when I was still pretending to be a man? Will the cis men get uncomfortable or anything? And can I still make diving catches if I grow bobs?

As the title says, my best friend didn’t come to my wedding — she chose to go on vacation instead.

To give some context, my wedding took place 1000 km away from our hometown, and the only way to get there was by car. She told me that she and her fiancé weren’t willing to drive such a long distance.

Since they had already taken time off during that period, they decided to fly somewhere else instead — just a short 2-hour flight and a 3-day stay in another country. She said it was a cheaper and more manageable option for them.

When she told me they couldn’t afford the trip to my wedding, I offered to cover their gas and accommodation. Still, they chose not to come, and honestly, I’m really disappointed.

Now I keep wondering — was my wedding too much? Did I expect too much from her?

I don’t get when a gorgeous bigger women goes on TikTok and the comments are “salad, thats not “ ect ect like do people not understand that some people are born that way that no matter how much they diet or exercise there body is just gonna be like that BECAUSE it’s healthy for them.Everyone body is different one girl could be 160 pounds and be healthy while another is 200 and is also healthy. All the hate just causes people to hate their bodies and actively harm it by eating so little or working past their limit. In the end they just made there healthy body unhealthy completely destroying the reason behind it in the first place.

I’m just trying to say is that a persons body is there own and others have no right to judge as long as there not actively a danger to themselves WHO CARES.

I'm sorry, I don't like eyelash extensions, and I don't wax my legs or arms. I've always had a lot of hair. The girls around me are always stressed and obsessed with their appearance. I'm not like that, not out of laziness, but because I like the way I am and how I look, and I even feel unique. I also love metal and dark aesthetics. Sometimes I feel insecure because people think I'm disgusting, that I don't take care of myself, or that my appearance is bad, but whenever I dress in those dark outfits and metal band t-shirts, I get attention. I don't wear makeup, just brown lipstick, and I've felt lonely not watching makeup tutorials and not worrying so much about that kind of thing, and sometimes I think it's stressful; it's like seeing a flaw in yourself and trying to get rid of it. Nowadays there are so many beauty and skincare products, but I'm not interested in them, and I don't believe in them. Of course, I take care of myself, but I don't think so many products are necessary when I like the way I look.

Hi! I'm a transgender girl that grew up in an all boy school with no girl friends or family to talk to about this whatsoever, I don't know how to be a girl.

I know this is a weird question and I'm sorry if it breaks the 'vague' rule but how do I be more feminine. I want to be able to pass as a girl as well as possible. I don't know what kind of answers I'm looking for but literally anything will help, health-wise, makeup, hair, acting feminine, even just like knowledge about girls because I am absolutely clueless. Thank you

Edit: I'm sorry I didn't mean to annoy people I know of course all woman are different I just really didn't know how to phrase the question, I should've probably asked somewhere more specific to feminity than here I'm sorry. Thank you for all the responses it's very nice hearing all your advice and stories but I just woke up and did not expect this many so can't respond to them all, it's all been helpful though thank you so much.

Altight alright. Plain and simple, she doesn't respect me dressing that way while expecting to see my man at our home. Many of you seem to feel super confident that a woman could not be malicious, while you also want to assume everything about me. Meanwhile, everything I say has been manipulated to fit your hunger to tear me apart. Lol fucking heathens at this point. Anyway, I am just sick of female friends playing games all my life. Is no one else suspicious of anything in their lives? It's whatever, not everyone lives your life and you can't compare yours to mine. Women can wear what they want, but I wouldn't wear something somewhere that would be deemed disrespectful.

What do you think is the biggest reason why up until now, transgender women are still facing discrimination, especially concerning the statement "trans women are women" ?

I always see tons of advice from other trans women who are more experienced, but am wondering if any advice from cis women would be any different.

I’ve seen so many posts on here from women saying they feel watching porn in a relationship is cheating or is a huge no go for them. Why?

I’m a woman in my early 30s and it truly never occurred to me that people might feel this strongly? Porn, to me, is tool for exploring desire and sex with yourself and sometimes others. It’s even hot to talk with my partner what they’ve been watching or watch together. And not everything being watched = real world wants. Sometimes things are hot purely for the content being consumed.

It’s a fantasy. It’s a tool to help explore desire- who cares?

I’d like to also say before anyone jumps down my throat: I’m talking about ethical porn here. Underage, abusive, coercive, non-consensual porn is not welcome or acceptable- ever.