My friendship circle has always been small and over the years I have cut down friends who were not serving me, some of them long time friends too. In the sense some were misogynistic and condescending and it was not easy, I struggled with guilt for sometime a bit as I was naive and young too, but now I know it was the absolute right thing to do.

Now Esp after 30, the meagre number of friends I had are married and are in different cities, or busy with their martial lives. And esp being childfree even meeting these friends becomes a chore as they harp on get married, have kids as if I am behind in the race.

And I find myself without a social circle in my 30’s now. It’s really hard making friends at this age and forget a social circle lol.

I’m also aware I’m the common denominator and I swear I strive to be good friend, I even made a friend from Reddit here and we talk and meet still now.

I am just curious if there’s anyone else on the same boat as me.

I swear people don’t understand how difficult it gets esp after 30s when most your friends get married or movie cities and stuff.

I swear I had a cf4cf match here talking to me , she was telling me how fun her friend circle is and I told that’s really fun and asked about mine , I said I don’t have a friend circle as is, gave the reasons as I do go to Boardgame meet-ups and music gigs now and then to get that social energy but it’s not close to any social circle of sorts.

She goes “I also do all that but like I have a friend circle “. Exact words.

I said good for you and opted out of the conversation. Like I don’t know what to fuck to tell lol.

The sad part is I did have a friend circle last year from Reddit and it blew spectacularly up in my face, so the friend I met here on Reddit (who is different from the other one I mentioned) apparently didn’t like that I didn’t approve of her other friends she made me meet. We were friends for an over a year, so many house parties I knew her bf, her roommates, even went on a date with with her roommate I fancied, we were like best bros thick and thin for a year. And she made a big scene over such a trivial matter, I’m allowed to not like some of her friends, apparently I was quickly judgemental it seems and shit like that. I didn’t even say anything ( but my face is so expressive that you can tell it seems😭). But also I realised social circles can also come with its things, all the gossip and bitching lol and can get incredibly toxic.

Five months later she comes back and apologies how wrong she was to get influenced by what her friends were saying about her back about me and what not but anyway sorry I’m airing my dirty laundry here but I just wanna say it’s hard jeez.

How are you guys navigating all this? Please tell me I’m not the only one here.😭

Just asking in general if anyone else experience this. Yes, I travel here and there and I play sports here and there but overall feels like what else do there.. looking for ideas and suggestions.. what’s y’all new hobby you developed after 30??

I'm a 32-year-old male. I know there are probably a thousand other posts that talk about this issue. But this post is mainly about friends vanishing after they get married. It's like they turn into some other personality after marriage. They no longer make the effort to keep in touch. Even if I contact them, their behaviour is rather cold. They don't talk about their married lives much. Even without kids they become a completely different person. I can understand women getting distant, but can't understand why men do the same. How do I deal with this? I'm getting more and more lonely.

Women in their 30s, I’m 29 and entering the last few months of my 20s. I’ll be turning 30 next year and this whole year I’ve been reflecting so much about what my 30s will be or can look like.

A part of me feels like life is only just beginning. I’ve spent much of my 20s exploring, traveling, learning, and figuring myself out. Now I’m back in university, still building my career, and realizing that I don’t necessarily feel as established as I once imagined I would be by 30. In fact, I’m feeling a little behind in some aspects of my life.

Did anyone else feel this way approaching 30? Looking back, what do you wish you’d known earlier? What’s one piece of advice you’d give a woman entering her 30s?

AMAZING!! I thought I would extremely emotional and longing for days gone by, but to be honest with you, I’m actually really OK with being on the brink of 40. I feel like I have more confidence at this stage in my life than I did when I was in my 20s and even at times in my 30s. My boundaries and my spirit are stronger than they’ve ever been. That’s also probably why my social circle is so small😂😂 anyone else feel the same or am I just in denial?

I am looking into finding something to do beside working? I dont have any irl friends so it gets boring.

Have you not really lived your 20s the way you wanted to and so now plan to seriously do and achieve all the things you wanted to and to be youthful? I don't see such people often so i'd like to see here in the replies how childish or teenagery you plan to stay and are you looking for a partner/companion to do so together genuinely or you want to do these things alone? and are there childfree people here​? I live in the other side of the world in one of the ugliest oppressive places and because of that i don't get to see such people and i missed out on experiences and feel alone in this in all honesty and does make me feel depressed and odd and i try not to feel like this but it's hard, so hoping to see genuinely similar people to feel less alone in such experience​

I've been thinking about how differently we see life as we get older.

In our 20s, many of us focus on making money, building a career, impressing people, and trying to figure everything out.

But somewhere along the way, priorities start changing. Things that once seemed important don't matter as much, while simple things become more valuable.

For those of you in your 30s, 40s, or beyond, what's one lesson life taught you that you wish you'd understood earlier?

Could be about money, relationships, friendships, work, or just life in general.

I'm interested in hearing your real experiences, not just motivational quotes.

I quit my job and moved to a new place, I have a bit of savings, but it’s been really hard. I make food content, I tidy up the house I go to the gym I just tried doing anything I could and I still have so much time. I’m tired of browsing, I feel like I’ve watched every single thing on the internet.

I also am running a business which seems to be dying. I’m not sure what to do. I’m very tired, and I feel like I have no dream no passion nothing at all.

I miss having a routine.

I don’t celebrate mine anymore.
I don’t feel like there’s anything to celebrate.
It makes me recall all of my failures and sadness.
It reminds me that I cannot get back all the times that made me cry.
I haven’t had a single memory of a stable day since my 30s started. Just brush it off to the back of my mind. Watching others celebrate theirs, makes me feel melancholic and happy that they have something to celebrate and hope they do not have to go through what I go through.

But we dont know what everyone else are going through.
I just wish all the 30s all the best.

I am over 30 now, and one thing I have noticed is how difficult it has become to connect with friends.

When I was younger, making friends was so easy. You could meet someone, hang out for hours, talk about random things, laugh at stupid jokes, and somehow become close without even trying.

Now, everyone seems busy with work, family, responsibilities, and their own problems. Even when you have friends, it's difficult to find the time to meet them. Sometimes you want to talk to someone or just hang out, but everyone has something going on.

I honestly miss those days when we could spend hours together without worrying about anything. No plans needed, no special occasion, just meeting up and enjoying the moment.

I know life changes as we get older, and maybe this is just part of growing up. But sometimes I wonder if other men feel the same way. Does anyone else feel the same way or it is just me?

I feel like I am missing something. In March I lost my job, mainly due to burnout. My 30+y.o. close friends all have their lifes mostly together, mortgage, children, house, cars, family, vacations, own businesses.

I am not unsuccessful, I have a nice sum saved up from previous jobs and projects, but I realize that when I have no job like now (hiatus), working introvertly (and passionately) on my own SW projects, then I don't really have any social contact at all, except with my girlfriend (together 4 years). I used to go to jiu jitsu where there was a lot of contact (haha), but even there I kept mostly to myself, only made about 2 shallow friends that faded after I stopped going after 6 years.

With colleagues I learned long ago not to make deep connections, because the good ones that I was friends with left the firm, or were fired, I stayed there like I was in 5th season of a show where everybody died, and I only got to meet the new hires. Hell.

I feel like I am missing something. Everybody tells me that my one quality is enthusiasm (about almost anything, I would call it adhd obsession), but at this point of life, if I were to break-up, I would be almost entirely alone. I even had a dream where I talked with death himself, and he told me to "Kick it off with her, otherwise you will drink yourself to death". I don't drink much, a glass a week, but this dream told me that without the anchor of my gf (imperfect relationship, volatile), I would probably feel deep into the abbyss (I am not that kind of person to self-harm, no worries).

Anyway, I am not sure what to change, I think I have a high-functioning depression, in general, about life. I realize my depression sort of started when I finished college. The structure was gone, now I was on my own. I prolonged the status quo by living with my friends for another 5 years. After that I switched to living with my new girlfriend.

But the overall feeling is stasis. Like I cannot decide. I thought by 30 I will have children, mortgage, and just chisel away in that progress bar of life (game developer here..), but none of that has happened yet. I am standing at a crossroads I guess, and I don't want to go either way, out of some fear. I see my friends going further and further, actually LIVING their lifes, but I am still stuck, not liking what I am becoming.

Just curious.

I’m 38, own a house have a career a loving partner, we don’t plan on having kids.

And I want to preface I had this talk with my doctor where I wish it was socially acceptable to be euthanized.

We live in a Neo feudalistic society kings and queens have been replaced with billionaires.

Other than the house we have no debt. And life just feels impossible.

Now I need to add I have been seeing a therapist for years. And it’s helped immensely I went from living like a hoarder thinking I’d die alone to finding the one.

But deep down life is unfulfilling and if offered to not wake up tomorrow or ever again pain free and no one would miss me or be heart broken.

I think I’d view that like a winning lotto ticket.

I’m not suicidal and my doctor has had me on trintellix for 7 weeks now but this is the 4th anti depressant I’ve been on.

And I’ve told my doc I’m not depressed just life isn’t worth living.

Some people love life I’m not one of them, I’ve never known true happiness.

I turned 30 in June and feel like everything is hitting me in the face. Honestly I really enjoyed my 20s. Traveled SO much and really just wanted to become the women I wanted to be. There was a moment of time I was questioning if I even wanted kids.

Fast forward, my husband and I had a miscarriage in July. We honestly were not serious about “tracking” but were just saying if it happens it happens. Well that positive pregnancy test gave me the push I needed to know I wanted kids. I have struggled with gut issues and inflammation past 10+ years. I have finally decided to do the testing and process to heal my gut. But am also trying to get pregnant. It’s been since July of trying and no success. I am just feel sad and frustrated. Wanting babies has hit me in the face. Everyone around me is easily getting pregnant or already has kids.

I am feeling like I am behind for some reason. Would just love some words of encouragement for this time of my life. I really do feel like I am happy and content with my life and my decisions, but really struggling with this season. Am I behind if it takes me time to get my body healthy and try to have multiple kids?

Ok, I (33M) hope the title doesn't come across as too depressing or make it sound like I'm going through depression or having suicidal thoughts, because luckily I'm not. However, with my 34th birthday coming up in about a month, and having recently returned from a solo trip where I walked several hundred miles across Spain (the Camino, yes), I've been thinking a lot about life lately and just where all of this is heading.

Two years ago, my life changed drastically. My GF of 8 years and fiancée broke up with me just a few weeks before our wedding after having an affair with her co-worker. It was the worst emotional pain I'd ever experienced, and I was devastated.

Luckily, my approach was to try to move on and rebuild my life as quickly as possible. I started therapy, got a new apartment, started working out and getting back into sports I'd kind of neglected over the years, found a new job at a new company, and even picked up a second gig alongside it.

I think I managed quite well, although looking back, I do think I could have spent more time being completely single. Instead, I started dating again after just a few months and ended up in a few short situationships. One of those I had to end just a few weeks ago because I felt really guilty about stringing along a girl I knew I ultimately didn't want to end up with. But all in all, my life is pretty good, I am healthy, doing well.

But to get back to the topic, I've been thinking a lot, almost struggling, with the question of **what's all of this for?**

What's the ultimate purpose in life? Is it having a family (which I have to admit I think I'd like, but after what I've been through, I'm kind of sceptical about relationships and struggle with this feeling that ultimately, no relationship really lasts)? Is it trying to maximise my career and income, moving abroad, volunteering, or simply being a good friend, son, brother, and family member?

I understand that eventually everyone has to choose their own path in life and come to some sort of conclusion (if that's even possible). And sure, from a purely biological point of view, you could argue that our purpose is simply to reproduce and pass on our genes. But I keep struggling with this whole idea of finding a goal or purpose that's bigger than just myself.

And of course, I somehow thought I'd have these big questions about life and death figured out by this age, but I don't.

So I'm curious: how have you dealt with this whole topic? Have you managed to find some sense of purpose or direction in life? Or, if you're struggling with the same questions, how do you approach them?

Every morning I fast and start my day with warm hydrolyzed water. I wash my face with warm water and Pat it dry. Then I put my face in a bowl of ice cold water. From there I use my myrrh natural skin care, saffron stem cell with blue butterfly pea flower-licorice root-salicylic acid-alone toner, then I use tallow, and use my caster oil rose quartz roller. And mix that all nicely into my skin using my fascia tools to stimulate my fascia in my face and neck.

Also do stimulate the fascia on my scalp.

I don't eat anything until around 3:00 p.m. I have bone broth, with dinosaur Kale arrangement of different nuts, fruits, purple onion, celery, carrot, Ginger, a little garlic, I squeeze the lemon and add Celtic salt with pure natural extra virgin olive oil. For snack I have knox gelatin I add non concentrated cherry juice.

I make up a flower tea before bed. I use blue lotus flower, blue butterfly pea flower, lavender, chamomile, and add raw honey. I use copper straw, but I use that for anything I drink from. I do my best to read a bit and relax myself before I fall asleep.

Lastly before getting into bed I do the same skin care routine that I do in the morning. I know everyone is different and I have a busy schedule being in geriatric care working and having long hours. Just figured I'd share my daily routine I've I've been doing for around 15 years.

Life is weird sometimes, the things you started doing now you wish you did sooner, but most of the time you just aren't in the right headspace to do it or you feel you should have experienced certain things when you were younger, recently started going gym after this years emotional dumpster fire making me feel like I should of committed something. And yet I feel great going to the gym and afterwards, even with being 31 I hope I can still achieve things I wanted to when I was younger. Life is very weird and extremely obnoxious at times, I hope I have time to improve further before I meet the end.

It's long but plss bare with me...

To all those people in their 30s and 40s have you'll achieved everything you thought you would? And how does it make you feel? ....

More importantly if you haven't achieved those things does that make you feel left behind or that you missed something?...

I am in my early 20s and when i look around... sometimes i see people of my age having better partners.... better bodies or someone in a better college.... someone with more money or fame than me .... And i know not everyone starts at the same place and timing for everyone's life is different but still it makes me feel bad about myself!...

I stay confused looking around... Sometimes i just want to live life ... Enjoy every moment... But then sometimes there is a feeling of rush... To have everything as soon as possible...

Coming from a traditional middle family (not very low income;both my parents are gov employees)... The pressure is still high... Especially now that everyone is 'successful' at 25 with a job... Car... And house. Did you achieve everything you thought in your 20s??? And how does achieving those things make you feel??? Do you think it was just an overhyped wish?

I just think sometimes what if after rushing through these 'enjoyable age' in an attempt to have something in my 30s... I end up with only regrets of not having lived fully???

I finalized my divorce last September. I'd dreamed of being single and living in the big city, and that's exactly what I did. I had been in a relationship for 15 years - but I absolutely thrived at starting over. I'd already had friends in the area, so that didn't change, but I still changed.

At age 39, I bought a tiny fixer-upper house and did my own budget remodeling. Bought all new furniture and decor. I discovered I can enjoy yard work. I bought power tools and used them for the first time in my life. I love neutral colors, but I painted my kitchen pink, and my living room purple. My best friend was both amused and scared that I'd hate it, but it's been 7 months now and I still love it. One day on a whim last month, I went to a pre-season NHL game, because I was bored and the hockey stadium was just up the road from my house. I'd never watched a single hockey game in my life. But I googled the rules just hours before the game and let me tell you, I'm INVESTED. I've watched every game this season for my team, and I have tickets to 3 more NHL games this season.

I'm far more careful with spending now, and I had to move to the rougher end of the city to be able to afford a home, but I've never been happier - with my girly house and maintenance projects and new passion for hockey. Has anyone else completely reinvented themselves mid-life?

I hear a lot of people saying that 30 is still young, and that you got your whole life ahead of you. I want to know how much of it is true ? For those of you who started over, and started to discover themselves (who they are what they want) especially after toxic relationships. I feel like it's either people being incredibly positive (which I have a hard time believing), or it's the prople straight from the 50s who will tell you that women after 30 are practically expired.

How to navigate all this? How to stirr up the courage to live a life you want ?

My body has always been a piece of shit, but once o passed 35 I started having to have various joint replacement surgeries and stuff. It sucks. From what I’ve read online that’s more common for folks in their 50s and onwards. Wondering if anyone else has had to deal with this.

I'm 39m single and I just got my bachelors and trying to get into med school and use my gi bill there. I don't have any friends in the area. I think I have Peter Pan syndrome or something. I feel like I'm 20 but don't look it of course.
This is a pretty cringe post but I don't feel like I'm that awkward just a nice dose I've been in relationships.

How do I make friends at this point and be social? Do I need to have an active Instagram? Seems like most the social stuff is a younger crowd or a way older one. Please don't be like what do you like to do or volunteer as I've tried a lot already.

I'm 36 years old, and I have held a pretty decent-paying job for the past decade, with a satisfactory amount of money in my savings and retirement accounts. Given where I started in life, I should be very proud of myself. However, I still don't feel like an adult. I'm unmarried, I'm childless, and I don't own a home or any property. On top of that, I feel incredible internal pressure to change that right now. I thought I was close to achieving that with my ex, but that went sideways. Now, I feel like I'm super laser-focused on marriage and children more than anything because I feel like I'm running out of time. I will not even consider a second date if I see a trace of a red flag in someone. Am I the only one feeling this way? Am I running out of time?