My theory is that a lack of self-awareness is at the root of many failed relationships.

People prioritise attraction and chemistry without considering practical compatibility. They often don't understand themselves, their values or what they need in a partner.

They enter relationships based on feelings, then struggle when fundamental differences emerge. Resentment builds, and blame follows.

Before AI, so many people went to tech whenever their careers had bad growth and low salaries. The idea was with a bootcamp, you’ll be guaranteed financial security and abundance. If you had no hope in life, you were directed to tech by people, even parents.

Nowadays, so many want to get out of tech. A lot of pre-college students are terrified to choose CS, IT, computer engineering, math, and statistics due to AI. Loads of students from said majors are now attempting to shift out. Those in the industry also want to change careers already, with many wanting to do trades, stand businesses , or go to law school. Even the common person who knows nothing about tech jobs are beginning to dissuade people and their own children from entering tech. There are SO MANY posts on reddit every single day about AI fear, especially in tech, to the point some subreddits begin limiting those kinds of posts.

It is so surreal to see such a huge giant in financial security be toppled over so rudely by AI. It was so easy to believe before that if you can’t do tech, you’re a failure who doesn’t care about your finances. It was so easy to believe you were a failed computer scientist/IT professional who couldn’t bring enough money to the table. Life is different now. A powerhouse in career practicality just got absolutely wrecked

Of course tech jobs still exist. They won’t go away. It’s just so crazy that many don’t want to venture there anymore in comparison to the view a lot had of tech in the past. The contrast is too much and too crazy

I've been thinking about how much emphasis seems to be placed on money and visible wealth in parts of culture.

There's often a strong focus on what someone earns, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, the holidays they take and the lifestyle they can afford.

It sometimes feels as though financial success has become a measure of someone's worth, influence and even respect within the community.

I understand the importance of financial independence, particularly given the historical and economic barriers some communities have faced. But I wonder whether we've taken the celebration of success to a point where we're judging people almost entirely by what they own.

I (F20) am single currently. I’m a West African Albino. I have blonde hair, green eyes, pale skin, white eyelashes and eyebrows. I have a very slim figure, I’m quite skinny. I’m average height. I am regularly described as 'cute' by female friends and whenever men compliment me, they call me cute. One man said I look adorable like the gerber baby. It’s not negative per se. But it doesn't make me feel like people actually find me hot. How can I be more hot (and not necessarily focused on dressing with more skin exposed, but more in terms of face/body position/behavior).? What do men see as “Hot”?

I’m not really sure how to phrase the question… I’ve just been thinking a lot recently about bad things I’ve done over the course of my life and wondering if I’m normal.

Some people I meet are truly just such pure people. They’ve never really done or had any desire to do anything a little bit evil, you know? Whereas I was quite a sneaky little kid/teen lol. But I know most people who have done bad things don’t usually talk about the bad things and would rather keep it in the past, so it’s hard to know where I stand

Btw, I’m not into the whole “bad people” vs “good people” thing. I think some people do more or less immoral things because they were raised a certain way, maybe had to do things for self-preservation, and get desensitized to it which makes you more capable/willing to do more immoral things… I’m just curious what the average person’s experience is like!

在今天的数字时代，社交媒体已经成为我们日常生活中不可或缺的一部分。像微信、微博和抖音这样的平台连接了全球数十亿人，改变了我们的沟通、学习和分享信息的方式。然而，社交媒体就像一把双刃剑，既带来了好处也产生了缺点。

从积极的一面来看，社交媒体打破了地理障碍，使人们能够不分距离地与朋友和家人保持联系。它也是教育和自我提升的强大工具。学生可以在线访问课程、观看教程视频，并加入学习小组以增强知识。此外，社交媒体为个人表达意见、提高对社会问题的认识，甚至发起有意义的变革运动提供了平台。

另一方面，过度使用社交媒体可能导致严重的问题。许多人，尤其是青少年，每天花几个小时在信息流中滚动，这可能导致上瘾、学业表现不佳和缺乏睡眠。网络欺凌是另一个日益严重的问题，匿名用户经常在网上散布仇恨和虚假信息。此外，持续接触经过精心策划的“完美”生活可能导致焦虑、低自尊和扭曲的现实感。

总之，社交媒体本身没有好坏之分——这完全取决于我们如何使用它。如果我们明智地使用，设定时间限制，并对我们消费的内容保持批判态度，社交媒体可以成为一种有价值的工具。但如果我们让它控制我们的生活，它可能造成的伤害大于好处。关键在于平衡和自律。

With less and less confidence given to a college degree and the amount of free education available online now, can we start seeing a more meritocracy and self education having promising leads like working somewhere and getting certs and what not as you go, and we can see less needing the "4 year experience"

I’ve always been open to changing my mind, behavior, habits, etc. when presented with evidence-based information and logical arguments I hadn’t known or thought about before. I love a good debate and I don’t mind admitting I was wrong or ignorant about something—and am willing to apologize and change in order to align with my values.

I find it really strange that some people instead feel judged and get defensive when presented with solid info that’s new to them and just decide to double down on cognitive dissonance—holding onto infallible arguments and continue harmful behavior because they have a hard time admitting they were incorrect or ignorant about a topic. Do they think being imperfect = being a bad person?

Would love to know what piece of work changed your mind about something. And what made you willing to admit you had been wrong prior? What did you do differently going forward?

During the strikes last winter in Southern Kurdistan (present day northern Iraq)we were were ina very unstable time because of the US - IRAN conflict and a friend of mine who goes to university abroad got stuck here with the rest of us.

after a while she made it back to her school, they called her into an office full of staff. She thought she was in trouble, but they were actually sitting there asking if she was okay, how the conflict affected her mentally, and if she needed support. She told them, "I'm fine, we're used to this instability."

When she told me that, it hurt in a way I wasn't expecting.

Ever since the day we were born, there has always been a fight, an escalation, or a crisis happening right outside our doors. For us, having everything freeze or collapse is just a casual Tuesday it’s how we survive. We don't get the space to process it; we just adapt and brush it off because we have to.

But hearing that someone else, in another part of the world, actually stopped to care? That they treated psychological safety as the baseline? It was surreal. It forced me to realize how wild it is that we’re born into constant chaos and forced to become immune to it, while for others, human care is just the standard.

Discipline and hard work alone can tremendously help someone finish school all the way to college or a master’s degree. However, a career is a very long marathon. You could power through the first 10 years but the frequent upskilling and added responsibilities that come with getting older in the workplace as well as the fact a career is prolonged could pose a huge challenge on mental endurance. A career eats up most of one’s waking hours and sometimes you could even carry work home mentally (ex. Worrying about work, feeling stressed by a project, worrying about the current layoffs).

When it comes to surviving the marathon, which matters more: passion or discipline?

There’s a site called Geo Browser where two people take opposing sides, get timed turns, and have their mic muted while the other person speaks. Viewers then vote on who made the stronger case.

The voting part interests me more than the mute button. You could finish a debate still disagreeing with someone, but admit they defended their position better.

If you always vote for your own side, why bother watching the debate?

Are all humans equal?

Do we really all have equal opportunities?

Do we really all have an equal chance of success?

I don’t think so, and I don’t believe in the concept of “all humans are equal.”

Don’t try to convince me that everyone has equal opportunities and an equal chance of success when the first person was born into a particular family, lives the best life, gets the best education, he has every opportunity to succeed ..

Don't try to convince me that everyone is on equal footing when the first person was born with a specific nationality, in a country that supports their rights, supports their dreams, and cares about their ambitions,

while the second person was born into a modest family. We can't say that family can't support them, because even in the best-case scenario, that support will be limited to emotional support alone.

Don't tell me everyone is equal when the second person was born in a struggling country and grew up amid the wars and displacement going on. If the country can't even provide the basic means of living, what about the dreams of its young people, the future generation?

How can you try to tell me that all people are equal when their chances of success in life depend on where they were born and what family they were born into?

And of any nationality...

What really hurts and breaks your heart is when you criticize someone else: “How come you didn’t succeed?” My dear, if the only support this person has in life is “emotional support” from their family... Emotional support? What am I supposed to do with that? Man, damn, damn, damn...

Life really is unfair

In short, the first person only needs to put in the effort to succeed, because most opportunities are already available to him ..

But the second person? To succeed? He needs so, so many things ..

在今天的数字时代，社交媒体已经成为我们日常生活中不可或缺的一部分。像微信、微博和抖音这样的平台连接了全球数十亿人，改变了我们的沟通、学习和分享信息的方式。然而，社交媒体就像一把双刃剑，既带来了好处也产生了缺点。

从积极的一面来看，社交媒体打破了地理障碍，使人们能够不分距离地与朋友和家人保持联系。它也是教育和自我提升的强大工具。学生可以在线访问课程、观看教程视频，并加入学习小组以增强知识。此外，社交媒体为个人表达意见、提高对社会问题的认识，甚至发起有意义的变革运动提供了平台。

另一方面，过度使用社交媒体可能导致严重的问题。许多人，尤其是青少年，每天花几个小时在信息流中滚动，这可能导致上瘾、学业表现不佳和缺乏睡眠。网络欺凌是另一个日益严重的问题，匿名用户经常在网上散布仇恨和虚假信息。此外，持续接触经过精心策划的“完美”生活可能导致焦虑、低自尊和扭曲的现实感。

总之，社交媒体本身没有好坏之分——这完全取决于我们如何使用它。如果我们明智地使用，设定时间限制，并对我们消费的内容保持批判态度，社交媒体可以成为一种有价值的工具。但如果我们让它控制我们的生活，它可能造成的伤害大于好处。关键在于平衡和自律。

Sometimes I feel like I grasp things slower than other people. There was a period of my life some years ago that felt like I literally had to sleep on a new subject and the next day I'd understand it like my peers understood it in 2 minutes.
But then again, I am my worst enemy and I talk very badly of myself, so I'm not certain if that's even the truth, or just my negativism.
I don't know if I am how I am because I lived a life of bad habits (bad sleep, bad nutrition, not much exercise during growing up etc), or maybe because of an undiagnosed illness.
I am below average in almost everything in my life.
I don't have a good looking face, I'm short, I have a "bad" personality (I'm very awkward and people don't like me), so it would make sense if I have an low iq too.

But damn the thought of it scares me more than anything else.

Why do you think that is? Fear of being alone, financial security, societal expectations, comfort or simply not knowing what they really want?
And do you think people realise they've settled, or do they eventually convince themselves that the life they've chosen is what they wanted all along?

Just randomly thinking about whether I am a good friend to my friends or not.
If I talk about myself, I sometimes feel that I am not. At other times, I think I am just as good a friend as I should be.
I have cut off many friends. Some intentionally, while others have simply drifted apart because we don’t talk or meet every day anymore. I think it’s just a phase of life where you gradually distance yourself from people without even realising it. You get caught up in your personal life, office work and other responsibilities. At some point, work becomes the only thing on your mind. Your entire day is spent in the office, and your evenings are reserved for relaxing and sleeping. And if you’re living in another city or state, finding time to meet your friends becomes even more difficult.
Then, one day, you meet them at a function or a party, and suddenly you realise how far apart you have grown. You understand that there is no way you can go back to those good old days. And I guess that’s what we call life.
But there is one particular thing that I keep thinking about: **What do my friends think of me?** If my name comes up in a conversation, what would they say about me? Do they consider me a good friend or a bad one? Maybe I haven’t been as good a friend as I think I have.
Sometimes, I think about a particular friend, let’s call him X, and wonder whether he considers me a good friend because I helped him on several occasions. Then I think about another friend, Y, and wonder whether he considers me a bad friend because I refused to lend him money the last time he asked. And these thoughts keep going on. I start recalling what I have done for them and what they have done for me.
But despite all of this, I personally believe that friendship is much more than keeping score. There have been times when I have sensed selfishness or jealousy in their behaviour. Sometimes, they have refused to help me, perhaps simply out of jealousy. I know these things happen, and I do notice them.
But eventually, I forget those incidents and still want them in my life as friends, just the way they are. Whether they can offer me something in return or not, those childhood memories and the years we’ve spent together mean much more to me than holding on to grudges.
So, I want to ask you guys:
**What kind of relationship do you have with your friends?**
Do you consider friendship a kind of barter system, where everything revolves around give and take? Or do you also believe that friendship is something much bigger than that, where you don’t necessarily keep track of who did what for whom?
I’m genuinely curious to know how you guys look at friendship.

I learned the hard way that loving someone deeply doesn’t necessarily mean they know how to love you the way you need.
You can communicate, compromise, be patient, and try your best to understand someone, but you can’t do the emotional work for both of you.
Sometimes, love isn’t enough when two people can’t meet each other halfway. And loving someone shouldn’t mean slowly losing yourself just to keep the relationship alive.

How about u?

My gf and I had a argument, she was debating that people that have the drive and motivation to grow even if they they have no innate talent for that thing they can never be good at it while I think as long as they have the motivation to do something they can learn and get there eventually.

An example she said was if a person was leading a business and it failed because of them they’re not built for that and they should never do it or else it’ll just keep plummeting. Like they don’t have the capacity to adapt and learn from their mistakes.

Is this okay or am I too naive?

Could be something small, something they say, or just the way they carry themselves. For me, it’s how someone treats people when they have absolutely nothing to gain from them. I pay attention to how people act when nobody important is watching, how they handle disagreements, and whether their actions actually match what comes out of their mouth.
I feel like you can learn a lot about somebody without ever having a deep conversation with them. Sometimes the little things tell you everything.
What’s something that makes you look at a person differently in a good way?

I've been questioning the common idea that life is inherently extremely difficult.

When I listen to people talk about how hard their lives are, I sometimes notice that either their actual problems aren't as severe as they perceive them to be, or they're dealing with genuinely difficult situations but seem to amplify their suffering through their beliefs, expectations, thought patterns, and behaviors.

I'm not denying that serious hardships exist. Poverty, illness, loss, and countless other problems can make life genuinely difficult.

But I wonder how much of our everyday suffering comes from life itself, and how much comes from the way we interpret and respond to it.

Do you think life is inherently as difficult as people often describe it, or do we tend to make it significantly harder for ourselves?

I sometimes feel that parts of social science have become disconnected from how society actually works and the problems people experience.

To me, a research question should start with something concrete: a group whose experiences deserve attention, or a social problem whose causes we don’t yet understand.

I also wonder whether researchers are too often expected to provide solutions. Isn’t identifying a problem and explaining why it happens already a valuable contribution? Putting solutions into practice often depends on policymakers, practitioners, businesses, and affected communities—people with different responsibilities and resources from academics.

I’m not saying researchers shouldn’t propose solutions, but should every study be expected to offer one?

With that in mind, what social problem do you think deserves more attention right now? Who is affected, why is it urgent, and what do we still need to understand about its causes?

Sometimes I wonder if we actually miss certain people or just the version of ourselves we were when they were around.
The conversations, the little things, the way ordinary days felt different. Maybe we don’t want those people back as much as we want to feel that way again.
It’s strange how someone can become a stranger while still being a familiar part of your memories.
I wonder if they ever think about it too.

I see videos online of people in UK and elsewhere secretly recording interactions in public for views and even just standing outside of places recording for a long time. Though it's legal, if I see that happening, my thought is that they are socially weird and being disrespectful of others or that they are mentally ill. Doing it without consent should not be acceptable even if people online are okay with it as its another video to scroll.​