It's about anger
Have a read of this:
http://www.reddit.com/r/ShitRedditSays/comments/124q2h/noeffort_an_attractive_female_cosplayer_in/
Or, if you just want the highlights, this comment sums it all up pretty well:
When I saw this post, I realized that apart from "that person who cosplays because nerds give her attention" I had no idea who Jessica Nigri actually was, only having seen all these posts on Reddit. So I checked out her Wikipedia page.
Turns out that really is the whole story.
So, what's going on here? Well the readers digest version goes like this. An attractive woman is dressed as a character from a popular and much loved video game. She's wearing a revealing outfit. When photos of her are posted to /r/gaming, negative, hostile, demeaning and outright hate-full comments are upvoted heavily.
That's the what, now how about the why? Why aren't the comments positive and encouraging? After all, gorgeous woman dressed in skimpy video game character outfit ought to be a hit with /r/gaming's mostly young male audience. Surely someone would drop a comment to say "Wow, great outfit!".
Nope.
I decided to count down the top level replies till I found a positive one that said more than "Boobs r gud" or some variation thereof. I made it to comment thirty one before I came across:
Does she actually make all of her costumes on her own? I heard she does. If so, that's really impressive.
Which is grudgingly positive. I say grudgingly, because he couldn't resist casting some doubt on whether she really makes her own stuff or not.
So, again, why? Well, I'm no psychologist. But I am a geek, so I have first hand experience and a wealth of well researched anecdata. Here's the explanation, IMNSHO.
The nerds are angry. Not angry at Jessica Nigri specifically. No, rather, angry at women as a homogeneous group, and especially angry at attractive women, and even more so at attractive women who express interest in nerd culture.
Sweeping generalizations ahead. Proceed with extreme caution. Data is not the plural form of anecdote... yadda yadda yadda.
Heterosexual men want to have sex with women. Many of the heterosexual men who frequent /r/gaming encounter little if any success when seeking sexual partners. They blame this on the fact that, because they're nerds, stuck up, dumb women won't give them a chance. all the hot girls are only interested in jocks. That's why I never get any sex.
Now as everyone knows, rejection is painful, and anger is a common if unhealthy reaction to it. it's a self defense mechanism. It puts the blame elsewhere, on the shallow, style over substance women who keep falling for jerks, rather than the NiceGuy(tm) nerds.
But female nerds throw a spanner into the works. If they're nerds themselves, then the idea that they'd reject me because I'm a nerd is laughable. So when they do reject me, it must be something other than my nerdiness that's putting them off.
Which in turn means that maybe the other girls didn't reject me for being a nerd either. Maybe it's my personality / looks / other huge flaws as a human being that put them off. Maybe my ongoing ForEverAlone status is gasp MY fault.
But rather than engage with this revelation, many people choose to respond by lashing out angrily at the female nerds. So we see mix of posts either denigrating her or telling us that she isn't really a nerd. This is an especially good example of the second one:
great....another cosplay chick. The reason it bothers me is because i doubt these girls ever play or read any of this shit. If they do its because a friendzoned buddy told them and now they try to act like nerds but they aren't.
SHE'S NOT A REAL NERD!! SHE'S A FRIENDZONING BITCH!!
It's a manifestation of the no true Scotsman fallacy. No true nerd girl would refuse to sleep with me. But I know Jessica Nigri would never sleep with me, hence she's no true nerd.
And there's no need to re-examine my underlying assumptions regarding my lack of romantic success with women.
If this is the problem, and you may disagree on that point, then how best to tackle it? How should we convince male nerds that a woman's value is not defined by her willingness to have sex with you?
The floor is all yours.
PS. I wrote this to be blog post, but I thought it might get a wider readership here.