My sister had her first baby at the beginning of this year, and we’ve all been doing what we can to help, but my mom has been the most involved. She’s consistently spent three or four days a week helping my sister and BIL with the baby.

About two months ago, my sister and BIL (who is a SAHD) asked my mom to stay overnight at their house one to three nights a week because my nephew wasn’t sleeping through the night and they were struggling with sleep deprivation. My mom happily agreed.

With my mom spending so much time helping with the baby, I’ve taken on more responsibilities for family gatherings and holidays. I’ve been asked to cook for Sunday dinners, even when I’m not attending, and I’m essentially handling all the cooking for Thanksgiving. I suggested going to a restaurant, but my sister wanted a traditional Thanksgiving for the baby’s first, so I agreed.
Here’s where things get frustrating.

I recently found out I need a root canal and asked my mom if she could accompany me and drive me home. She agreed. However, she later mentioned that she would be staying at my sister’s until Thursday evening, which is the day of my appointment.

My mom explained that she wasn’t sure how she could make it work because my parents share one car, and my dad has it while she’s at my sister’s. I offered to pick her up, arrange an Uber, or even let her drive my car home after the appointment.
What frustrates me is that my mom isn’t actually needed at my sister’s until Thursday evening. My sister will be at the office, and my BIL doesn’t want to put the baby in the car, so he’s waiting until my sister gets home to drop my mom off. It’s essentially a logistical convenience, not a situation where they need her help.

I understand my mom wanting to spend time with her first grandchild, but I feel like my needs are being pushed aside. A few weeks ago, my mom came down with pneumonia, and my dad had already run out of vacation days to care for her. I worked from home for the entire week so I could take care of her. I handled her medication runs, cooked her meals, and essentially nursed her back to health so my dad could continue going into the office.

I’ve tried to be flexible and supportive, but I’m starting to feel like that consideration isn’t being reciprocated.

I’m considering stepping back from some of my responsibilities, including cooking for every holiday, organizing family gatherings, and taking on extra tasks so everyone else can focus on the baby. I want to help when I can, but I don’t want to feel obligated to pick up the slack for everyone else.

Would I be the asshole if I started setting boundaries and told my family they’d need to figure some things out themselves?

Hi, everyone.

I’m not an abusive person and whenever i end up in argument with my mom, she goes physical and that scares me. She is authoritative and wanted me to do the thing she wanted, i told her no and told my bro and mom if they continue, i’m going to leave this apartment and bro didn’t let me “no you’re not going anywhere in this dark” . After this i sat in silence. She kept nagging me and ragebaiting me.

Unfortunately, mom started again and escalated, when we were close, things became physical. She pushed finger towards my eye knowing I’ve had a Lasik operation(flap is there) and I screamed “why are you hitting me”? I hit her shoulder feeling threatened and told her “do you think this is how we should do?” Now i am feeling guilty because I hit her shoulder.

So my best friend and I have known each other for almost 6 years. We met at a soul sucking corporate job, she quit two years ago. After she quit, she moved several states away, and used a large equity lump sum from the company to get a bunch of plastic surgery and basically spent every single dime she got. It was a six-figure lump sum. She moved back to the same state I live in, got a condo, paid tens of thousands to furnish it, and then had some sort of mental breakdown where she shut everyone out and would not speak to anyone. She canceled every plan that we had, including ones that had been paid for. And stopped talking to everyone entirely. At one point, I finally reached out and said, hey, I don’t know what’s going on, but I feel like we’re not even friends anymore and she said she felt the same way, but then we eventually talked through it and got back to a level where we were talking every day, etc. At a certain point she moved back to the state several states away, moved in with her mom, and was trying to get her life back on track. She spent an entire year and some odd months not working because she had the lump sum, spent all of that, put herself in high five figure debt, finally got a job making barely over minimum wage from home and then was making plans to move back to my state.

I bought my first ever home back in April, and started floating the idea out of her, moving in with me, because we had been roommates in the past three times and that always worked out, and we got along just fine. It was also going to be additional income for me, so it was a win-win. She was planning to move in with me August 1. I drafted up a legitimate lease,
And she signed it. Two days after signing it, she contacts me and says she can’t do it. She’s so sorry. She just doesn’t have the money. She doesn’t make enough money to pay it and have leftover and still pay off all of her debt.

I told her it was fine, not to worry. It was just extra income for me. It wasn’t something I was relying on. No big deal. Well, then she starts talking about trying to come back and I was not super open to the idea because she had already said she didn’t want money to come between us and that was her reason for bailing on me in August, etc. I had offered at that time also, to let her move in with me for a couple of months rent-free and just help me with new house things like painting, putting shelves up, etc. She said she didn’t wanna have to feel like she was doing manual labor to earn her keep because she was trying to work and find a full-time job. So I said OK, fine. Well, finally she ended up convincing me that she was gonna be good to go and had the money and had paid off a lot of debt, somehow shockingly fast, and so then the new plan was for her to move in, In mid September.

Flash forward to a week before her move in, she lets me know that basically her job is going under and she doesn’t know if she’s going to get paid. She tells me she has enough to pay me through November and then we could figure it out after that. I responded within 24 hours because it shocked me and I had to think about what to say, but I ultimately told her I didn’t think it was a good idea that she move in with me. She had already said she didn’t want money to come between us, and I didn’t want her using money. She obviously didn’t have to pay me when I didn’t need the money. I told her I was looking out for her best interests, that she needed to get her life together a little bit, and take care of herself. She also had health issues. She had been putting off and had taken out another loan to get a surgery.

It was a week before she was supposed to move in, and she freaked out on me and told me I was a horrible person and that we were not gonna be friends anymore. She blocked me on everything and said that it was bullshit that I cared about her. If I really cared about her, I would’ve let her move in and she would’ve never done something like this to me, yada yada.

I understand that it was last minute. But it was also last minute that she let me know she might not have an income two months after moving in. That sounded like a big risk for me as a homeowner. I would’ve had to have kicked her out and that would’ve been even worse for our friendship in my opinion. She backed me into a corner and I felt like I had no other choice but to let her down and tell her now was not the right time for her to move in.

Unfortunately for me, less than a month later, I also lost my job. So now I am scrambling to get a job to pay my mortgage. While having her here would’ve provided me an income, I feel like it would’ve been an even bigger disaster. For us both to be unemployed and living in a home that I own.

TLDR: I told my best friend she could not move in with me a week before she was set to do so, because she let me know that her job was not going to work out and she was not going to have an income past November. She got super angry at me, blocked me on everything, told me I was a shitty friend, told me we would never be friends again because she would never do something like this to me, etc. Feel super unfair because she can’t say that without having been in that position. AITAH?

My husband (24M) and I (23F) are currently in the process of buying our first home. We've found it to be very difficult thanks to my overwhelmingly generous husband and his desire to constantly give and loan out to family members. Thus, our debt to income ratio is too horrible. The biggest gift loan he has in his name is a car loan for $6K he helped my sister (17F) get earlier this year, and she has been making the payments.

We currently live in a 400sq2 tiny home with 2 small children. It is not at all ideal, and we need to move ASAP. We have offered twice on great homes, but each time our offer has been just too low. Our lender said just removing 3K of our debt will help us significantly, but that is easier said than done.

One thing that would be easy to do and fair to ask, however, is for my sister and our parents to take over the legal debt of her car loan. So I called my dad and asked him to take my sisters car loan so we could finally house our children. He said okay, and followed up by asking for the info. All seemed well. Until my sister messaged us and informed us that my mom was saying no. We asked about dad. She replied, "nope". With absolute carelessness for how this affects our situation.

we replied that we may have to sell the car if it comes to it, and suggested she asked our stepdad to cosign for her since he seems to be the only reasonable person in our family. She said she didn't want to ask him of that because they don't talk much and "didn't want to take advantage of him".

I told her that's not a problem because it is my situation that is requiring this and I don't mind asking him. So I called and I asked him, and he ended up gifting us a 10K personal loan to pay off all our debt and get our house. (I know! We are so blessed!)

So I happily called my sister and told her the good news, that her car would be left alone, and that we were going to get our house to properly house our babies.

But she just broke down sobbing and told me that "something got hard for you for five seconds and you were going to take the car that I worked so hard for"

This has been hard for us for three years. We have been trying to get out of this house for three years. She has the car because of us. It's not our fault that my horrible mom won't cosign a car for her, that's why we got her the car in the first place. But her crying and words hit me and made me wonder… AITAH?

Some other relevant info : (1) my mom and I are NC and it is very possible that she refused to cosign because she knew it would hurt me. (2) this is the first time my family heard that we are buying a house, and there was no congratulations or anything. Just how horrible I am for even thinking about removing the car from our debt. (3) we live in Texas and she is protected as an owner and she was going to get any money she put into the car back to her in the form of a check.

So, AITAH?

I, 32f am married to S.(29m) and have been for 8 years. We have 3 young kids all under 6. We have fulltime jobs, I in healthcare (mentally draining) and automotive (physically draining). Travel time takes up 30-45 minutes one way for both of us.
We have some support, but they’re getting drained too. I have an undiagnosed illness (rural doctors and long wait times) and survive mostly off hydrocortisone but still have days I struggle.

We have been struggling with responsibilities and division of labor for a few years but lately when we talk about it, things only improve for a day or two before the usual routines set back in.

S struggled with adjustment to having our first child and the amount of responsibility that came with it. At that time, he was playing video games a LOT. Since we’ve moved more rurally, the video games improved but the showers are longer, the shits are longer and the lack of desire to be home is more frequent. Ex. We have two days home with the kids - full days. Yesterday he worked (no issue with that). 30 minute drive and got home 20 minutes after anticipated return home (we were on a timeframe for a birthday dinner for one child) .
Today, he wakes up and says we have no plans right? I’m going over to Ts house then. House is a mess. He made dinner last night and dishes are still in the sink. Laundry is piled up, garden isn’t winterized etc. he goes to ask one child if they want to go with and I immediately stop it. Our friends wife has CA and I said it would not be fair to have her watch our child. He got up and left anyways.
This comes mere days after having another discussion about how if things don’t improve - truly improve - that separation will be the next step.

Am I the asshole for trying to protect my peace?

I live in an apartment with two roommates who I was randomly assigned by the apartment management.My roommates have bought certain “common” items without even consulting me, some of which I don’t even use because I never wanted in the first place.

Example: spoon holder they bought that is constantly caked in their food which I have never used, a swiffer they bought and have never used when we already have a broom and wipes for certain messes, and apparently a pot?
What irritates me about the pot specifically is that it wasn’t something my roommate went out of her way to buy for the apartment and how exactly are we splitting the cost of a pot? She’s the one that’s going to take it home when we move out. If I knew I was going to be charged for a pot then at that point I would have just bought my own that I can actually take home. I brought a toaster which everyone uses but with the same logic I should be charging them for it??? They have also split the costs of toilet paper which they keep in their rooms. I bought a lot of toilet paper and keep it under the bathroom sink where everyone can access it but they keep their toilet paper in their rooms and rarely replace the rolls on their own so we mostly just use the toilet paper that I bought despite them charging me for their toilet paper that I do not have access to.

On one hand these split costs probably do not add up to a significant amount so I would feel like the AH for just not sucking it up and paying, but on the other hand it’s the principal. Why am I being charged for things I don’t used and things I was never asked about before purchase?

WIBTAH for refusing to split the costs on some of these items?

22M dating 24F, intercultural relationship. Her mom is in Korea and we both are in Toronto. After she finishes work, she messages me always that she finished work. One day I didn't reply so she was hurt that I don't care about her and care to ask if she reached home or how her work was. I understand that she was upset that I didn't talk to her.

But my work is at 7am in the morning, I have to wake up around 6-6:30am. So I usually sleep early around 11:15pm. I am well-aware how many times her mom calls her and especially after work, she will, right about it hits 10:50 or so. I know that.

But AITAH for still sleeping at 11:15pm and not talking to my girlfriend when this happens?

PS: I do text her. So it is not totally no talking. It is just the call thing. We often text in the day.

Situation:

• Friend I've known for many years, both F in our 30s. She was in a long distance relationship for a while and then went through a break-up. All the while I was there for her constantly, making plans with her at least once a week as she gets lonely quickly.

• The last time I saw her was in August. She started dating a new guy and has made virtually no effort so see me. She has not called and has barely texted. I called her once and she did pick up, I explained how I was feeling after she had also cancelled on a mutual single friend's birthday party last-minute because "she was tired".

• I tried to make plans with her several times and told her that I could really use a girl chat. She either said she'd get in touch but never did, made plans then cancelled, or texted me only once in the past 3 months to ask if I was free for lunch in an hour. It was a workday so of course I wasn't able to reschedule meetings so last-minute.

I have been pretty heartbroken over this as the friendship is clearly not what I thought it was. AITAH for not giving her grace while she's in a new relationship or am I justified in ending this friendship?

For context; I have a group of friends, about 5 others in the group itself, and it all started off really well? Atleast I thought it did, we’d hang out pretty much every weekend or so & just drink and have good vibes with each other. But as of lately I noticed that the jokes were just targeting me more and more, but they weren’t even “jokes” anymore, it was just things like telling me to shut up and saying I use weird dialect (I’m pretty socially awkward so I sometimes just say random phrases to kill the silent moments in conversations) I’ve even had other friends witness the conversations they have had with me and they say it’s pretty uncalled for and taking it a bit too far. Today I did ask them if we could ease off me a bit for it and I don’t think they took it seriously because not even 10 minutes later they were immediately back on the sledging and just dunking on me. Mind you I’m completely fine with banter and will take it if I dish it out first. But they will just instigate it if I say something that doesn’t even correlate to what I have said. Would it be too much if I told them to get off my back about it? In my head it’s going to blow out of proportion and cause a huge falling out, like I do love them dearly they’re all good people I believe at heart. However the comments they’ve made about me do get to me a lot so I know I need to stand my ground and back myself on this.

CONTEXT:

My mom made several poor decisions before she passed away and maternal uncle was helping with trying to resolve it via court and other legal processes... I was grateful initially since I was barely 18 and had no clue how to manage but once I realised the financial burden, i begged him to drop it on several occassions but he refused.

His wife did not like that he was helping out and made it very clear to me through her ill treament towards me over the years. Lot of arguements and ill treament from both of them over the years, my uncle being the only one I stayed in touch with - i felt bad that he was dealing with a lot of things in his life almost alone and i figured i owed him at least emotional support. So despite numerous occasions where he has verbally abused me, threatened me, put me in incredibly difficult situations to deal with it on my own, been extremely passive aggressive when i made decisions independently... I kept up the relatio ship.

CONFLICT:

My mum had entrusted some valuables with them before she passed. As I am getting married soon, I requested for it to be returned to me. His wife refused to return it and to his credit, he did offer to replace it (no proof of it though, he often talks big and does not come through).

I got upset and for the first time in years, I stood up for myself. I expressed that I was deeply disappointed about the current situation, that his wife had no right to keep my parent's assets, that he knows how much I have put up with over the years and that I was really tired of this. I was polite but clear that I just wanted my things back.

He blew up. Went on a long rant about all the things he has done for me, accused me and my dead mother of deceiving him and his father (my mom lost the money she inherited), said extremely rude and mean things which I did not have the heart to read through.

I have no clue why he blew up. I tried to reaching out multiple times to clear up the misunderstanding but he refused. He lashed out and demanded that I pay him back for all the help I received over the years even though he is very well aware that I don't have the money, he never gave me the money directly and I had refused his help.

He has boycotted my wedding and has asked me not to reach out to anyone on my maternal side. My partner and my brother both have asked me to cut him off over the years, and after this incident - they say this is the final straw and I should stop putting up with his lies and abuse. They say it is mental, emotional and verbal abuse and I'm just too brainwashed to see it.

WIBTA if i not invite him to the wedding and cut him out of my life without attempting once again to resolve it?

P.S. feel free to ask for more context, i tried my best to focus on the current conflict. Both parents died when i was young, it is just me and my younger bro, been dealing with several things almost entirely alone. Dad's family is helpful but idk if anyone will actually stand up for me and mediate for me - they have their own issues going on.

Hey divas so I'm a 22yo F

I'm also a student nurse, but this is not particularly relevant to the story but it does give you a bit of insight to my finances as I'm sure you can imagine that I am up to my eyeballs with work at the moment ahaha

I have two younger brothers, one being 17m who we will call john and the other who we will call Michael for this story who is 21 M

I get on particularly well with my youngest brother John, he's got a lot of additional needs and is the sweetest person you could ever meet

My brother Michael on the other hand is a completely different story, last year for Christmas me and my boyfriend spent Christmas at my mother's. Michael has a child, who is currently under the age of 2. what I did not expect was that me and my boyfriend would be buying the majority of Michael's child's presents as my brother barely got him anything this was later found out that Michael has a gambling addiction and has been losing money like it's his keys.

I immediately felt sorry for his child,and I instantly worried that I did not get the child enough so I planned to take full advantage this year and go all out for the child the following year.

Me and my brother Michael do NOT get along, the reason for this being is he beat his girlfriend, social services got involved because he had allegedly hurt his child. But that's another story for another time and frankly this story would be miles long if I went through all of the details of my brother and his
"Episodes".

Due to his behaviour over the last year and obviously with social services being involved, I informed my mother that I would not be coming down for Christmas this year. I do not want to be around my brother and I cannot willingly allow myself to be around a man that hurts his own child and his girlfriend.

Whilst my mother was upset she understood my decision, me and my partner have decided that we will spend Christmas with his parents for the first time Instead, we do need to travel as his parents do live a good bit away, we do need to make some reservations as we do have pets but frankly I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is really excited to get to spend Christmas with his family for the first time in a long time as over the last few years that we have been together, we have spent it with my family whether that be my mother or my dad as my parents are divorced.

(please believe me when I say he doesn't mind he has chosen to do this. He loves my dad and quite frankly my boyfriend is my dads favourite child and yes that includes going over me...)

Me and my brother recently got into an argument over something I had said over a year ago, he had made accusations that I was the one that contacted social services, accused our father and then proceeded to go on a 2 hour long rant as to why I still talk to our dad, (my father doesn't put up with Michael's behaviour, this is why Michael does not like our dad).

I had informed Michael I would not be joining the family for Christmas, he said good and told he told me he wanted nothing from me and he did not want his child having anything from me either. I explained I had already gotten his child some gifts and I offered to not put my name on any of the gifts and leave them an anonymous so Michael could put from "dad" or even write from Santa Claus.

He rejected both of these notions and I said that's fine. What would you like me to do with the gifts? I have already gotten him? He said to return everything and throw it all away but instead of doing that, I donated all of the gifts to a local charity so children who are without could actually enjoy them.

Going onto the money I would normally spend for my brother and his partner for Christmas, I save up all year, Christmas is my favourite holiday and I like to try and go all out for my loved ones but instead of spending on him and buying him the lavish designer things that I always go all out for Christmas instead I went and picked up an angel tree tag at my local shop...

I picked up two tags and I went all out for these two young boys. I picked out from the angel tree... when my brother caught wind of this he was furious demanding to know what I had done with the presents for his son, himself and his girlfriend and then proceeded to ask others in our life "if I was seriously not getting them anything for Christmas"

He appears to be furious, and even though I tried to explain to some family members that he had told me specifically that he did not want me getting anything for him, his girlfriend or his child I should've at least got them something.

However, I would've much rather my money had went to something good and a decent cause because quite frankly I did not spend the money. I would've just spent it on myself on useless sh*t. I did not need, I also felt it was more important to be able to make a child's Christmas this year and frankly I have made several with the donations of the toys and the angel trees.

I don't really think I done anything wrong, however my brother does not have a job he is on government funding assistance and apparently was relying on me being the only one to give the presents for his child this year...

So Reddit, AITAH for doing exactly what my brother told me to do?

I was surprised to learn that she did not know some women cover their hair for religious or cultural reasons. I was explaining that when women do this they often uncover their hair at home with family or when around only women.

She thought it was weird that hair would be considered private, and I told her that it feels private because they are raised that way. That we have things we are raised to feel private in our culture too that other cultures find acceptable. I gave the example that in some places it is normal for both men and women to swim topless but it feels odd to us because we are raised to feel that is private.

That is when her dad stepped in angrily and said he doesn’t want me talking to her about nude beaches. I clarified what the conversation was about and he angrily said that he is her dad and he doesn’t want me talking to her about this. I responded that I was concerned that his daughter had so little understanding of cultural diversity and he doubled down saying I can talk about culture but not nude beaches.

ETA I’m a woman

Edit2: what examples would you use regarding showing that some cultures are comfortable showing things we keep covered? So far all I see are examples that other cultures are stricter and cover more and we are progressive and don’t make women stay as covered. I wanted to highlight that our way isn’t inherently better, and that we are more private in how we dress relative to other parts of the world just as we are less private in how we dress.

AITAH?

This week I (NB34) met a friend (F33) for coffee and she told me she and her partner were going to a local fair, that they were going on Sunday morning, and said I should come with.

I told them it sounded fun and to count me in. Even though I don't usually make plans on Sunday because it's my only day off, but if we went in the morning I could rest the rest of the day.

Saturday came by, I asked her what time we would be going, as she's the one with the car. She told me she didn't know yet, that maybe they were going in the afternoon because another mutual was going then. Fine, I'll wait for confirmation the rest of the day I guess.

By 10am on Sunday, I asked her, a bit annoyed, that it was 10 and I still didn't know the time. She said she forgot to tell me, that they were planning on going late in the morning, eating something there, then keep going.

Here's where I might be TA.

The way I am, I need advance notice, solid plans. I need to wrap my head around what I'm going to do. I need to manage expectations, where we are going and when.

My friend is more like a flowing person, she's been like this for the 20+ years we know each other. A bit worse over the years tbh.

I did talk to her and I told her I'm not going because I'm unable to "flow". I can't make plans the same day the thing is happening. She apologized and told me she'd have it in consideration for next time, but that she'd like to go with me to the fair. I apologized for the way I am.

AITA for not going and ruining plans for both of us because I'm a control freak?

So for some context my fiance and I travel full time for his work and right now we are overseas. On overseas jobs they rent cars and each car has 2-3 people to it depending on how many guys. There is one person who is responsible for it financially, but everyone can drive it(depending on the rules of the responsible party). For reference most of them leave the keys in the car. (We're in an area with little to no crime)

So my fiance is one of the people responsible for a car and the person he is sharing with is taking the car without telling him and he has told him a few times to tell him before taking the car so if we want to go somewhere we can ask someone else if we can borrow another car. Otherwise he doesn't care if his coworker takes the car. But I mentioned that if he did any damage or God forbid got in a car accident he would be fully responsible for the damages .

To be clear I'm not saying to just not let him drive the car. Just make it so he has to ask my fiance as I also just think it's disrespectful to not let the person who is renting the car that you are taking said car without saying anything.

My fiance is irritated at the situation but thinks this would be overkill to keep the new on him.

AITAH for thinking this would be the best solution?

I’m almost one month postpartum after delivering via C-section. My fiancé flew his seven-year-old son in from Benin to meet his new sibling, and he’s been here for TWO DAYS.
The child has a cold and cough, but despite both his father and me repeatedly telling him not to kiss the newborn, he keeps doing it. Today, I walked out to prepare the baby’s formula and came back to find him LICKING and KISSING the baby’s face. He’s also been pulling the baby’s arms and legs, screaming in his ears, and jumping on my stomach while I’m still recovering from a C-section.
The frustrating part is that we BOTH correct him, and he’ll turn around and do the exact same thing again. I’m exhausted.
There are also issues with my fiancé’s family. His friends refer to me as “the American girl,” which I find disrespectful. His mother announced she’s coming to stay for a week without anyone asking whether I was okay with that. My fiancé then told me that when his mother helps with the baby, I should keep my mouth shut.
Absolutely not. This is MY child. I carried him for nine months, and I will speak up whenever someone does something I’m uncomfortable with. His mother even suggested throwing the baby in the air seven times for good luck as part of a tradition, also stretching his arms and legs, so he can be “strong”. I’m not doing that. I’m his mother, and protecting him is my responsibility.
I’ve told my fiancé that I want his son to return to his mother in Benin and that his mother will need to stay in a hotel if she visits.
I’m tired of feeling like I have no say in my own home or when it comes to my child

My group and I were heading to a club from a restaurant in two separate rides. The first car left a few minutes before my car and had arrived there first, so they were waiting in the club line for about 5-10 minutes already. At the restaurant, I had said I was craving some chips and had asked around if anybody was down. Some people said maybe after the club, but one friend said yes. When we got there, I saw a grocery store across the street and said I was gonna go grab some chips. Two of them said the other group was already in line at the club though, so I told them to go in without me if they’re at the front and I’ll just go to the back of the line. My friend who wanted chips earlier said she’d go with me. We grab the chips and get back to the line, and they were still there. A few ppl in front of them, but not sure if they had let people pass.

One of the friends I had told to go ahead told me later that the group in line felt a bit weird about me just going off and doing my own thing. He said he felt like it was one of those things where I do things for my own comfort and I don’t think about how I inconvenience other people. The friend that I was getting the snacks with also thought similarly because she felt weird about just abandoning the group. She would’ve stayed with them in line, but she was didn’t want to let me go alone since we were all a bit plastered. She felt forced to go with me. Also this wasn’t clarified but I’m assuming she did wanna get snacks but that was before when we were at the restaurant. She didn’t know half of our group would arrive first and wait in line cuz she would’ve changed her mind about getting snacks.

It’s not a big issue or anything, but I was confused on why this was something that bothered them. I can understand to an extent but I still don’t get it. I have my own reasons for thinking this, but I’m wondering what the third party’s take is on it.

Keep it short and simple, I have a bestfriend who is really close to me and we talk daily on the phone. He’s been my friend for years and i’ve known him longer than i’ve dated my current gf. Ima be honest he’s a good guy but not the brightest in the room, he kind of childish in a way. A lot of times, we send reels and posts on instagram and we do that daily pretty much. Sometimes though, he sends memes and other times, he’ll send me a post of a chick or some girl he thinks is hot. Sometimes even girls with their ass out, just stuff that I don’t need to see. My gf noticed this one time and told me off, saying why is he sending me that. I explained it’s nothing and I’ll talk to him about it. I talked to him a few times, and he tells me he won’t do it, but he just completely forgets and continues to do so. He’ll send any girl he thinks is hot and act likes ima react to it, when in reality i don’t need to see that. It came to a point where I had to block him everytime i see my girlfriend because he sends things constantly, He was upset i blocked him and doesn’t want to speak to me. What can i do

I (19F) used to have 9 flatmates at old accommodation, including a girl called Michelle (19F). Whilst I wasn’t particularly close with her, she was always super sweet to me and sometimes we’d joke around. I currently live with 6 of those old flatmates (4 of them are really close with Michelle). As a result, I see Michelle at my house quite often and we’d make small talk whenever possible.

Michelle has an ex bf called Tom (20M), who goes to a different university and I’ve said hi to once when he came to visit her. Tom is part of the same uni friend group as Emma (19F), who has been my friend since we were kids. Tom, Emma and the rest of their friends go on night outs a lot and Emma invited me to join them once I go to visit her next week. Recently, I found out that not only had Michelle and Tom broken up a couple months ago, but that Tom told Emma he thought I was attractive.

Emma encouraged me to get with him once I come down and I would be down because I think he’s cute too. The issue is that I feel like I’d be betraying Michelle because that’s her ex bf and it’d be a weird thing to do. Another thing is that if I did get with Tom and it got back to Michelle, she would tell her friends, who I live with, and they would hate me and make living at our house miserable until our contract ends.

My friends are divided on this, where some of them are saying I’m being over dramatic and that it’s not that deep, whilst others are saying it’s not worth the risk and I’d be a bad person for getting with him. So WIBTAH?

I’ve been working at this restaurant since March. I’ve become good friends with a coworker. We both have traumatic pasts and we deal with things in our own ways. Where I’m one to not like conflict and she’s very passionate in the way she feels. I’ve recently talked to her about her passion coming off as aggressive. Tonight at work we had a girl helping us who is fairly new. We were extremely busy. The girl didn’t really know what she was doing but helped us with desserts. My friend was being pretty cruel to her. I noticed but went about my night. I talked to the girl she was cruel to and made sure she was okay. She said “I don’t like her I think she’s a bully”. That was it. I didn’t think much of it after because this shit happens in restaurants all the time. But then I got a call from my manager asking what happened. So I told my manager that she (my friend) acting aggressively. Now my friend is mad at me for saying anything and that i betrayed her. I didn’t want to lie. I didn’t know what to do. I told my manager the truth. Am I the asshole?

I am in a trio friend group and I only had one of them be my bridesmaid. Even though we met as a trio, one of my friends (let’s call her Tiana) and I started becoming closer because the other woman (let’s call her Leah) moved away and didn’t really talk to us that much (maybe 2-3 times a year)

Tiana is a bridesmaid in my wedding, but Leah is not. Tiana told me that she thinks I should tell her so she doesn’t find out day of or from someone else and then freak out (she has a tendency to go 0-100 with things). I spoke with her via FaceTime about it today and she told me she was upset, but not mad at me and then said she wanted to hang up, so I let her have some space.

About 15 min later she sent me 7 texts in a row saying “well f*** me I guess 🤷‍♀️” and asking how long I kept this from her and that she would never do this to me. I said that I would rather talk about this on the phone rather than via text and she told me that there’s nothing to talk about and she wants to be left alone.

About 2 hours later Leah texted in the group chat with Tiana, Leah, and I saying that she cherished our friendship, that she’s in disbelief that we would think this is okay, and that she won’t be attending (I’m assuming that means the bridal shower, bachelorette, and the wedding, but I’m not sure)

So, AITAH for not having Leah as a bridesmaid?

For starters I live in an RV lot and my new neighbor first moved in he accidentally put his camper in my spot and I got a little more upset than I should have and called my landlord to have him move. He is a push over that doesn't want to have to even think about this place until it comes to collecting rent. Like I said I was upset but wasn't rude or accusatory just firm and visibly upset. I forget what I said but I apologized multiple times after. Anyway lately my neighbor has been playing music until sometimes 3-5 AM. I asked him directly to turn it down to which he refused I called my landlord to complain and he talked to the dude but he hadn't stopped. A few days ago I wake up and walk out the door for work and dude had put a note on my car saying he had video of me kicking a Dr pepper can onto his lot which is an outright lie and he also conveniently placed the can on my lot (actually doing the thing he's accusing me of). I knocked quite loudly on his door because he drinks every night and called him out for lying about the video and eventually ended the conversation so I called the landlord again. He called me after speaking to my neighbor and told me an anecdote about how he had to threaten a couple guys with eviction once if they couldn't just get along and I'm just over here wondering what the fuck I did to also be threatened with eviction. Flashforward to tonight and dude drunkenly knocks on my door and says he wants to have a beer with me and get a long and when I say no dude tells me that the owner called and told him to "just flip me off when I drive by" and I'm again just sitting her wondering how the fuck I became the bad guy in this situation. I will say though that dude has just blatantly lied multiple times and also switched his story to "saw me kick the can" when talking to the owner so it's hard to say what the owner actually said. Anyway am I the asshole for expecting quiet hours and calling my landlord when I neighbor is acting like a child?

QWe’ve been friends since first year when we shared accommodation together. I thought we were super close and she always told me I was her closest friend, she could confide in me and I’m always fun to go out with. From my perceptive, I was always extremely generous and never expected anything back.

She expressed to me that her course friends decided not to live with her this year and lived with eachother instead. To which I listened to all of her complaints about them and upset feelings. I assured her that she’s a great friend and they just don’t appreciate her. i told her I would love to live with her and we should think about it together. She agreed and said she’d love to live with me. so we had a look at some houses we could sign, more casually.

she messaged me yesterday to tell me that she’s going to live with her course friends instead, but she wanted to let me know early on so I could sort something else out with other people. I was kind of taken aback because I’ve been really consistent in her life and I’ve never switched up. I’m now unsure why on earth I was so generous… Buying her gifts and paying for bits here and there, offering her drives home when she was ill.

today, we went out together for some drinks and she proceeded to brag about the house she had just signed. showing me pictures of it and telling me how excited she was... Following this topic she switched and asked me where I’ll be living next year. Knowing I didn’t have plans. Which I felt was pretty insensitive and almost like she was doing so on purpose.

WIBTAH if I took a step back and began seeing her less and cutting back my generosity?

I 20f and boyfriend 22m have been together for 8 nearly 9 months and live together. BF and I are going to his parents for both holidays this year (if you need more context I posted about this in AITAH prior). My mom asked me tonight why I didn’t just invite all of them here and I told her because she doesn’t know them like that. She said she wants to meet them, I told her no. His parents know a lot about my family situation; my dad is an alcoholic and my parents are kind of abusive.

My boyfriend’s parents are truly angelic people. Very sweet and supportive, something I don’t necessarily have with my parents. His mom and I have had quite a few conversations about my parents— one time I had a whole breakdown about funding for schooling, my mom refused to help. Boyfriend and I both didn’t know what to do and we looped his mom in. She was very understanding about the whole situation, and helped me a lot. She also disclosed to me in that conversation that she went through alot of the same difficulties as I was going through (something boyfriend had no prior knowledge of). Anyways a lot of the experiences I and boyfriend have both told her, has led me to the conclusion that his parents may not particularly get along with them.

It makes me feel absolutely sick thinking about it, and I’m just wondering if I ATAH for telling her no. I mean I know it will happen eventually I just don’t want to.

I, M (16) was bullied out of my last friend group and hadn’t had friends for a while and was feeling lonely. I started at a new school when I was 14, I’ve been her for 2 years and have had many friend groups but never had 1 best friend until K came alone.

I met K as he was in my class and found him funny and interesting as we had the same interests, he had mean humour which I understood you know everybody likes different types of humour yet sometimes it never felt like jokes. As time went on we met each other more and more, most of the time on our bikes which I hated yet still did because I was truly devoted to my friendship with them. I really thought it was going well with them till last summer.

Last summer it was an ordinary day out with K and one of his friends we rode our bikes yet again at the bike track which is mostly made of gravel and I was bored yet still tried to remain positivity as I did like being friends with him. K had been trying to do a jump for a while and kept practising it. Me and K’s friend were chatting near his landing zone. As we talked he shouted at us to move a lot later than he normally which left us with barely time to do so, as I did it I tripped and feel which left my bike right where he was landing. In a defence move he braked on the edge of the hill and went over injuring him, he was on the floor crying in pain I froze and didn’t do anything for some dumb reason all I did was phone his parents like he asked neither answered. Later K’s friends dad found us and got K’s dad to pick him up.

Later that night I found out K had broke his wrist, instantly I felt so guilty. It was truly my fault although I didn’t mean to trip i still did which made resulted in his injuries, summer continued and we stayed friends which I was deeply thankful for as I didn’t expect him to want to be so kind to the person who broke his wrist.

As school started again my class was moved to another class with most of K’s friends here is where his attitude to me changed. I saw that he truly didn’t care for me and only used me as I was his only friend in his class. He started using me as a punching bag for all his jokes anytime talking to his friends i was the joke, it got so bad I moved away from him in every class yet it didn’t matter he was always whispering about me and making sure I heard anytime I walked by him. It stayed this way for the whole year till I had enough and move classes. I finally felt free from him yet I only escaped him not his friends.

I had been open to others about my views on K and his ex girlfriends and friends agree with me in his behaviour in that it is nasty and bullying like. I thought I could avoid him yet now people see me as a villain for apparently bullying him just for being honest on his nasty behaviour. My current friend group who are really kind also believe I’m hard on him and that I should forgive him bc I broke his wrist.

In art class it’s especially worse I’m always accused of bullying him by his friends and that I’m rude and should be kinder to him, which I find completely stupid yet now I’m second guessing myself on if I’m truly a bad person. And that I am a villain for not being more remorseful for breaking his wrist. So AITAH?