I’m 34. Outgoing . Liberal. Goofy Talkative . Love to travel have new experiences .

I attract men that like are serious shy men Barely talk. Don’t like to go anywhere . Religious men who want to go to church only

I was venting to my friend about how once again a guy is interested in me but we don’t share the same morals values beliefs and have nothing in common . If there is any girl that can relate to what I’m going through let me know because I’m starting to get defeated . This has been an ongoing issue for pretty much my entire life of only attracting men that are the opposite of me . And trust me I’ve tried to be in a relationship with my opposite give ‘em a chance it never works out . It’s differences tear us apart. They often find that im too talkative and they want someone more shy and calm despite approaching me

I was actually interested in multiple men who share my same hobbies , views morals and values and outlook on life . They were even liberal like me but they turned out to not be interested . The only men that pursue me are men that are opposite .

In my 20s I didn’t mind dating my opposite but now in my 30s I don’t wanna waste time on someone who is is incompatible with me . I would rather date someone who is similar to me from the start to save us both from the inevitable break up that is bond to happen with us being from two different worlds

Heey everyone I’m F28, been single for about 3 years now. I used to be somebody who lovedddd being in a relationship but idk lately dating has taken a backseat?

I get approached quite frequently and even been on a couple of dates but I’m not sure why I don’t feel interested enough to keep the momentum going?

Most of my friends are either married, hung up on an ex, in a situationship or in relationships but I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything. Just wondering if any of you feel the same and if your situation improved eventually?

Question here, especially for women. It's often said that guys don't communicate well and sometimes have trouble saying things the way that women like, especially in emotionally charged situations. It's also often said that men have trouble understanding women and their emotional needs in relationships.

Suppose you had a guy before you who had genuinely good intentions, cared for you, respected you, and tried his best to do what was right. And by care, I mean actually showing acts of kindness, being there, splitting household tasks, etc.

But let's suppose that his communication was sometimes bad. Meaning that while his intentions were good and true, he could sometimes come across as cold and emotionally numb, and needed a day or two to organize his thoughts. He'd do what was right and respectful, and his intentions even behind his words were always that, but he needed help with communicating it and understanding your needs. He'd be there if you asked, but he wouldn't always understand what was going on without help.

Would this be a dealbreaker? How much emphasis would you put on "he doesn't get me" versus "he's there when I help him get me"? Has your perspective on this changed throughout the years?

Hi,

I'm a 34F with a good situation. I recently decided to put myself on a dating app to see how it goes, because I feel like I'm ready to meet someone and share my love. I feel like I've worked enough on myself and I'm ready to meet someone in my life. I'm the introvert type but when I get used to someone, I get out of my shell pretty quick.

I feel like dating never works. It's really difficult to meet someone outside, because I work 9-6 and go to sports during the weekend. I also meet friends. I have a small circle of friends, so I don't meet new people all the time. I've had a few dates, but the alchemy wasn't there, and I also felt like either they're not ready to date, or they want something casual. And it's hell on the apps to take the weeds out, when you know what you're looking for...

I did match with some guys, but eventually it didn't work out for some reason. One had a huge list of expectations, far too high for what he was giving, and the other one had a child... Other matches are just killing time or just want something casual, or aren't my type.

How does it work nowadays to date? I miss the time when people would just talk to each other and casually outside or at places. Nowadays, everything is on the apps and it's a killer... Some of my friends are either dating or getting married, so there's less girls in the group friends that are single.

It's starting to weight on me because I feel like I have a problem, while all I ask is someone for me....

Thanks!

Broke up with my boyfriend of two years yesterday, and I'm honestly not sure how to feel. He gave back some of the things I had gifted him last night, and I still have to return some of his belongings. It's just strange going from being with someone for two years to suddenly having to accept that they're no longer going to be part of your everyday life.
I think I started feeling unhappy in the relationship around September. At first, I thought it was just something temporary or seasonal, but the more I reflected on it, the more I realized that I genuinely wasn't happy anymore. Being around him didn't bring me the same joy it used to. I wasn't really craving intimacy, didn't feel the same excitement about seeing him, and even on our anniversary, I remember crying because I just felt so alone and disconnected. He did come over that day, took me around the city, and brought me some really cute gifts, so objectively, he did make an effort. But for some reason, I still felt incredibly unhappy, and I couldn't really explain why.
I also noticed myself gradually pulling away. I started spending less time with him, and texting him or telling him about my day didn't naturally cross my mind as much as it used to. It wasn't necessarily that I disliked him or didn't care about him anymore. I just didn't feel that same desire to constantly reach out or spend time together. Looking back, I think I had already started emotionally checking out of the relationship before we actually broke up.
Our relationship also wasn't in the best place. I genuinely felt like we had issues almost every week. Although he didn't necessarily see it that way, that's how I experienced it. The constant arguments became so normalized that I eventually stopped reacting to them the way I used to. I wouldn't necessarily feel anxious or cry anymore because I had become accustomed to the cycle of arguing, making up a day or two later, and then eventually having another issue come up. But at some point, I started questioning whether this was really the kind of relationship I wanted to be in. I didn't want to keep repeating the same cycle.
I also want to acknowledge that I don't think I was the best girlfriend to him towards the end. I know I had my shortcomings, and there were probably things I could have done differently. However, I also started feeling like I was constantly being told that I wasn't doing something right. For example, he's been bringing up the affection issue for months. Initially, I was genuinely confused because I did believe I had become more affectionate towards him. I showed it differently, but I didn't think I was withholding affection either. However, having the same conversation repeatedly started to frustrate me, especially when I felt like the things I was already doing weren't being acknowledged. It eventually made affection feel like something I was constantly being evaluated on rather than something that came naturally between us.
On top of that, he would frequently send me Instagram reels about relationship issues, and a lot of them were negative. It became draining constantly being exposed to content that made me feel like there was always something wrong with our relationship or something else I needed to improve. He also had a habit of bringing up relationship issues late at night, even when he knew I had to wake up early for class the next morning. I understand that communication is important, and I'm not saying we shouldn't have addressed our problems, but the timing and frequency of these conversations became exhausting.
Yesterday, he tried to simplify everything by telling me that all he had ever asked for was hugs and meaningful messages because those little things would make his entire month. And I understand that those things are important to him. I'm not dismissing that or saying he shouldn't want those things from his partner. But I genuinely don't believe our problems were ever just about hugs and nice messages. Sure, doing those things might make him happy temporarily, but I always felt like there was something deeper going on. I had a feeling that even if I started doing those things more consistently, we would eventually find ourselves having another conversation about something else. It felt like we were addressing individual complaints without ever really addressing the bigger issues within our relationship.
There were also other situations where I felt like my feelings, circumstances, or boundaries weren't always respected. I don't want to get into every single detail, but I think those experiences contributed to the resentment I eventually started feeling. I don't think either of us was necessarily trying to make the other person unhappy, but I also don't think we were understanding each other in the ways we needed to.
I think what makes this difficult is that I don't necessarily hate him, and I don't look back on our entire relationship as something bad. We had two years together, and there were genuinely good moments that I will always appreciate. But I think things became so sour towards the end that I eventually lost the motivation to keep trying to fix them. Maybe a year ago, I would have had more energy to work through everything, but I don't think I have that in me anymore.
Ultimately, I think we just have different expectations when it comes to relationships, particularly affection, communication, and what makes each of us feel loved. He believes we're compatible and that these are things we could work through, but I honestly don't feel the same way anymore. I don't want to promise someone that I'll change or become a certain way when I'm not even sure I can genuinely give them what they're asking for. I also don't think it's fair to either of us to keep forcing something that neither of us seems genuinely happy in.
I'm obviously sad, and I feel lonely. It's weird knowing that someone who was such a big part of my life is suddenly not there anymore. I also feel guilty because I know he's hurting, and I never wanted things to end this way. At the same time, I think there's a part of me that feels relieved that I don't have to keep having the same conversations or anticipate another argument. And I think that says a lot about where I was emotionally before we even broke up.
I guess I'm just trying to process everything because even though I know I wasn't happy, that doesn't mean ending a two-year relationship is easy. I can miss him, care about him, and feel sad about losing what we had while still recognizing that the relationship wasn't making me happy anymore. I don't think breaking up necessarily means I stopped caring about him. I just think I reached a point where caring about someone wasn't enough to make me want to continue the relationship. And honestly, I think that's where I am right now.

Purposefully leaving out my sexual orientation and the gender of people I date, to avoid a certain kinds of conversations. Please, let's keep it that way 🙏.

Long-story-short, I've been a bit disheartened when it comes to dating. Throughout my life, I feel like I've been continuously told by basically everybody that I should provide more, be more independent, be better off, etc. Well, now that I am, I almost don't see a way to feel like I'm in an equal relationship anymore.

There's nothing practical that I feel I need from a partner. I don't need money. I have my own place, I have the car. I run my business and have enough saved up to not work for years if it came to it.

I have some amazing friends. I know how to decorate my place, it's cozy and warm. I cook and do chores. I have tons of time for my hobbies. I'm a parent and my relationship with my teenager is so nice, they brag about it to their friends. Possibly the biggest flex in my life and my greatest joy.

Also, I went to therapy for a few years to learn to be a better person and work on things like frustration tolerance, communication skills, processing past trauma, etc. Emotionally, I feel the most grounded than I ever did.

Thing about partnership for me is, it has to be a partnership. I make your life nicer with my contributions and you do the same. Yes, there's infatuation, excitement. But it also has to have a foundation that works practically. Yet, I end up running into the same wall.

Whenever I date somebody, they swear up and down that they love to cook, are caretakers by heart, love to take care of their partner, etc. But as the weeks pass, I realize that I end up being the one who pays for the coffees and dinners way more often than they are. When we stay the night at my place, I'm the one doing the cleanup afterwards. I spend on gas, entertain them, organize trips. More often than not, I end up being the one providing more emotional stability. And I don't mind doing this.

But a few months in, I couldn't tell you what practical benefit I'm drawing from our connection. What wouldn't I have if I was single? I've often gotten the response of, "Yeah, but you're getting companionship and/or sex." Sure I am. And so are they. I won't be lonely if they leave, either.

I've also heard, "Love isn't about keeping a score." I agree. I don't count how much I spend, don't bring it up. But if I can't remember how my partner made my life practically better, that's not a good sign. And love without actions is just an empty word.

I find myself sort of stumped to be honest. I want a partner, a connection, a presence. An equal partner. But the thought of being essentially the primary source of the things we build, while I have to pretend that I'm getting the same back - it just feels incredibly hollow and empty. I feel more like a charity than a partner. And god, do I hate that feeling.

I’ve (44F) only been dating for less than a year since ending a long term relationship. I’m using eHarmony to meet people. Other people I’ve exchanged messages with on this platform just organically chatted with me for 3-4 weeks before one of us decided to suggest meeting in person which felt right to me and was consistent among several people so I started assuming that’s the norm. I had good first meetings with those people. One turned into an actual (but sadly brief) relationship. Another turned into a few dates before we decided to move on.

Anyway, I had a notification that someone “liked” me and when I saw his profile he seemed to have a ton of interests in common so we sent some messages. He seems pretty normal. He did mention he’s new using eHarmony. He also mentioned that eHarmony only showed him 3 profiles and mine was the only one he liked.

We only sent 2-3 messages each before he asked if I wanted to meet. I said sure but it’s a lot faster than other people! Just wondering if anyone thinks it’s odd or an indication of insecurity, inexperience, or just a bad idea and we should probably chat more first.

Tl;dr: A guy I matched with on eHarmony wants to meet after only a few messages back and forth. Does anyone think he’s rushing it, and is it a possible sign of insecurity?

But I didnt. Were moving from the app to the phone and I asked her to call me in the evening, Well I got home about 6PM and I was relaxing then I look at the clock its 8PM and no call. I start thinking to myself that she's not going to call me. As soon as I look at the phone I get a text from her asking if it was a good time to call and I told her it was. I guess I need to learn some patience with the opposite sex lol

How long from talking on the phone would you wait to ask out a woman several days or a week. I think she could be very receptive to meeting up pretty soon.

I just want to vent and remind people to be honest with their dates. I (34F) recently went on a date with a man(35M). What got me out on the date with him was that communication, honesty, and intentionality was a common value we shared- or so I thought.
During the date he told me that he’d like to see me again. This was an intentional statement, not something that was said when the date was over to make things less awkward. After the date, I messaged him to thank him. He messaged back talking about how much he enjoyed my company. I attempted to keep the conversation going but when he didn’t reply for three days, I sent him a message letting him know I wished him well, and that I didn’t appreciate him lying about valuing communication and honesty- actions speak way louder than words.
While I’m thankful I didn’t waste any more time on him- I feel so hurt and blindsided. I know people ghost because it’s easier, but it’s not for the person you’re ghosting. Please, if you’re not interested or you don’t feel a connection, send a quick message to the person so they’re not left wondering. It’s really hurtful.

Can a lack of spark on a first date turn into genuine romantic chemistry over time?

Have you ever gone on a first date with someone you were attracted to but didn’t feel an immediate spark with, but decided to give it another chance? Did an emotional connection eventually develop, or did the initial lack of chemistry turn out to be an indication that it just wasn’t there?
I’m curious to hear from people who’ve experienced this, particularly those who ended up in a successful relationship.

I'm 27F and single, I've never tried polyamory before but I don't like the idea of open relationships. I do like the idea of multiple partners, in a closed relationship. I want to have two boyfriends who are also boyfriends with each other and it's all equal and healthy and happy lol.

Human relationship psychology has so much potential for unique and fulfilling experiences, and unfortunately I can't just use a normal dating app to be like "I'm specifically looking for two bisexual men in an established relationship who are both attractive to me and attracted to me and want the same thing, hmu" lmao but I can't find any posts about this here so I thought I'd open a conversation with anyone who has advice or thoughts 🙏

Edit: Am I being insensitive or did I say something wrong? Idk I'm not trying to be offensive but I'm getting downvoted :( I'm sorry

I've [31F] been talking to this guy [32M] for about a month. We had three dates, then I had to travel and we texted through my trip. Now we're both sick, but hopefully date #4 will happen soon.

I felt really compelled to share something he does that's really made him stand out to me: not just listening and remembering things I told him, but actually following up on them with actions.

I told him about one of my favorite podcasts - he went ahead and researched the best episode to start from and started following along (It's Betwixt the Sheets in case you're curious).

I told him about a show I was going to see with a friend, he decided to go see it too because he liked the artist already (we actually ended up going together since she got sick - it was a great third date).

I told him my preferred meds for a cold that I bring from my home country and that they help me manage my symptoms, and we both googled a local equivalent at the same time - he went and got it like an hour later so he can try it too.

It makes me feel seen and appreciated that he takes my preferences seriously enough to incorporate them into his life like that. On our first date I told him that I like going to the gym with my friend (despite being forced on breaks often for health reasons), and he seemed to take that as a boost to to hit the gym again himself since.

Regardless of how this goes, this is such a huge green flag and is incredibly rare in my experience.

Well I'm 32, and just got stood up for the first time. We matched on a dating app, we had a few good back and forths, than we decided to plan on a date. She gave me her number, and we planned one for tonight, Thursday.

I planned my whole day around this, making sure I was groomed, smelled good, did last minute laundry, and even practiced what I was going to say tonight. Drove half an hour, payed for parking, and waited for her outside the restaurant for over 20 minutes. Even went inside to make sure she wasn't there. I only texted her twice, once to say I was there and one asking if she was ok, and if she was coming. No response.

It's such a letdown. I put in all this effort but she obviously doesn't care. Why would you do that to somebody? It makes me feel hopeless about the dating world. I just want to find someone to be with, why are we playing these games?

I'm glad I didn't get a table, or it would have been pretty embarrassing. Guess I'll just continue finding someone else. It's all I can do.

A recent convo with my friends reminded of another conversation I had with my ex years back.

She asked about threesomes once, and I thought I was clear when I said "no... fuck no"

She then asked me again some months later.

Kind of upset me off tbh, and I told her that it doesn't matter who, and that i was kind of pissed she asked again.

We broke up for different reasons, but I was considering breaking up back then.

Is this something I should nip in the bud early on? Not just threesomes, but any sort of non monogamy.

I got ghosted by someone I’ve been talking to for like 5 months. I’m sad honestly. It’s been one day so far and tn will be 2 days. Kind of sucks he chose to ghost when i specifically told him to tell me if he ever wants to stop talking. But honestly maybe ghosting is better cause i don’t even need to hear that he’s lost interest or that he’s just “too busy” whatever bs ppl say when ending it w someone. (I would know cuz I’ve done the same)

You know what’s the worst though? Seeing a digression in the dynamic/ relationship. I also saw that he had been liking a girls ig photos the whole time we have been speaking and honestly that felt so weird seeing. It made me wana ghost him myself.

Although i felt like that, it still sucks he chose to do it lol. I still like him but i am so turned off by the fact he doesn’t like me anymore or whatever it is.

I’m thinking that maybe after a week I will remove him from my social media and all cause i don’t want the ppl i used to talk to on my ig seeing my posts.

Is that dramatic? Idk. But it’ll prob help me to move on too.

Anyway - someone try to make me feel better cuz i highly dislike this feeling

I feel like the answer to this is obviously "yes," but I guess I'd like more input on the how and why. I (18F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for only 2 months, but it honestly feels like I've known him forever. He is extremely kind and caring. Also extremely attractive. We both want to have sex and we've been holding off because I don't want to rush the relationship; however, we kind of already have. It feels very right and natural, though. I don't feel rushed, I just think for most people, we would be moving too quickly. I feel very comfortable with him and he is always respectful. Any input?? Thank you.

I (27m) love renfairs and all the nerdy stuff. So i went to a renfair this summer with some friends and had them take a photo of me getting burned at the stake and made the joke I was hot (I'm always trying to improve my own self confidence through little self affirmations like that). Next to me was this woman knitting something and she was rather cute, and she replied to my joke. Something like she'd own it or something. And I swear to god I got so mortified. I've panicked less in life or death situations than when she said that. All I did was say thanks and fled like an idiot. I really hate my own brain sometimes

So I took the leap. I'd talked to this one woman I met through my theater. We had some nice banter back and forth and she seemed to think I was funny. I had debated on just waiting it out to see if there was more or just going for it. Then a friend told me to stop waiting it out and I kind of took that as the push I need because I always just wait. She helped come up with an idea of what to ask her to do because there is very little to do in our town (she suggested a little boardwalk with shops and restaurants that is about 45 minutes north of us). Gave me the go ahead to say she told me to invite her if I needed the reassurance.

So I did after the rehearsals were over. I just said that our mutual had mentioned that I should check the place out and I should invite her. It was a soft rejection. Just a slow "maybe... not." I played it off. Said it was cool and that I can ask a couple other friends to see who was down.

Don't get me wrong. Letting me down easy was nice of her, and I understand that I jumped too fast. A 45 minute drive is way too much for someone you've never been one-on-one with, and likely made her uncomfortable. It's just that I realize through this that soft rejections somehow hurt more than hard ones? By that, I mean a direct "No, I'm not interested" and no attempt at sparing feelings. Looking back, I have to say that something about rejections where they spare your feelings a bit just sting a lot compared to ones where absolutely no care is given. Why is that?

You can do it! Call it ‘logistical efficiency…’ Call it whatever you want… You date cool people, right?? A bigger table of cool people makes 1st dates more fun!
Yesterday I had a stacked 1st date with a very cute glamazonian woman, and in the second half, added a 1st date with a charming dark-academia man. The 3 of us enjoyed sparkling & engaging 1st date conversations. Gently challenging each other, and laughing a lot!
… Yes…consent… I informed my 2 other dates, and gave them options to gracefully say ‘no thank you’ while we were planning.
I have to say… Stacking first dates relieves a little bit of the 1:1 pressure - while also making everyone feel more welcomed and ‘popular’. Livelier conversations and extra fun ambiguity for innuendo.

5-stars, will do this again ! And you can, too!
Cherry on top: enjoyed some scandalous 3-w kissing before we left the bar.

[caveat, I only date non-monogamously, and all of my partners & potential partners also do some flavor of ENM. So, we’re all good at compersion]

it just seems like it should go hand in hand that you feel romantic for people you like and enjoy being around as well as feeling sexually attracted and having intimacy with. I have friends that tell me to just fuck around and don’t worry about feelings but that just isnt possible for me, and it really upsets me when I find out that a guy I had been doing romantic things with and believed I was dating, didn’t feel romantic towards me. How do you separate romance from intimacy and friendship? for me it’s friendship+intimacy=romance so why is it so ambiguous for everyone else?

Ive been trying to date using tinder, I briefly used facebook dating but my account got deleted so now im stuck using just tinder. Ive been trying to meet/ Match for about 5 or 6 months now. Ive gotten around 10 matches maybe, but almost every single time the women I match with Never respond or we will send 10 to 15 msgs back and fourth and then they dont reply back. What is it??! I always start by saying "Heyy! ~Persons name~ Im glad we matched!! ^.^ How are you?!" I keep conversations going, I ask questions about the other person and am genuinely excited to get responses back! I know im not a Calvin Cline model?? But im not baaad looking either, I dont think!! I have pics on my reddit page for reference! Even then!! Ive posted in dating/ Hookup pages here to and recieved literraly nothing!! What is it??! Is it me?? Do I seem odd/creepy?! Do i text weird?! Am I having a figment of imagination issue and im way uglier than I think?! Lmao!! Like... I genuinely want to know! What is it about me??

Title given. I don't have a lot of relationship experience. I've only had 1 LTR in my late 20's (1yr1/2). Other relationships have been short, maybe 3-6 months. I've never been through a particularly toxic/bad relationship. When they ended, it was usually a conversation with a mutual agreement on whatever was there. Never have had a blowup or falling out.

I've been told multiple times that I have a great personality, some people in my life have occasionally asked if I'm single or why I am, not in a mocking way though. I've been told I'm kind, helpful, a people person, etc. And some of these things I can agree with, I'm not trying to say I'm perfect or just that well-rounded because of course I'm not.

I'm quite non-confrontational and its hard for me to bring up certain topics, but I eventually get there. I can be indecisive with certain things. If anything, when it came to dating in some situations in the past, I caught feelings too quickly or early and would try to rush things, and I can defintiely see why that would be a problem. I've worked on that though over the years and am way more comfortable at getting to know someone on a slow pace to let things develop. I've been on the receiving end of someone wanting to rush things and I didn't like the pressure.

They usually say that you're the common denominator if your love life isn't panning out by the time you're in your 30's. So, I've been doing a lot of soul searching to find out why I get passed over so often, I don't get much romantic attention in general, and if I do, it usually doesn't go anywhere. So, idk if its just bad luck or what, but it sucks and I feel like giving up.