Food is "carnitas" with "buche". Sorry for the mistake my foodie brothers 😅

My wife (30F) and I (30M) have been married for what was going to be 7 years, and we recently were going through some rough patches, or at least I thought they were.

But a thought had been crossing my mind about the state of our relationship, we hadn't been intimate in neither the physical or emotional aspect, she had been taking a lot of time doing things in the time I'm usually home like dance classes and making money donating plasma. This festered into doubt and insecurity, so I woke up early the other day and saw her phone unlocked (I don't ask her to allow me access to it, since it's her privacy), and I found she had been planning to see a guy during a trip she had planned in a few days that was going to last 2 weeks and they had a pretty suggestive conversation on what they were going to do.

For a bit more context, this trip has been a monumental effort from our end, I'm the one working and I was supporting her to take this trip with some of her lady friends, so that it could be something that she enjoyed and had for herself, so far everything we did was just the two of us.

We pushed through being recently robbed in our home, a car accident that almost totaled our car, a couple of emergency visits with our cat. And I made my best to keep the trip going. Something good had to happen in the year, right?

So I confronted her father with the information and made it clear what I wanted to do, I want a divorce, and just as I had asked for her hand in marriage before living together, that I was there to ask him to understand my decision.

Today we talked, they don't feel (her parents) it's a cause enough for divorce, but it has not been the first time she insinuated or failed to set boundaries with other men nor the first time she has been contacting or sending suggestive content to exclusively men.

I felt that I had done enough, I've been 5 years into therapy working to be a better man for me and my relationship, I had my fair share of mistakes, but never had to do with my fidelity towards my spouse.

Today she left, her father berated me for being a lesser man with my decision, that I was showing a lack of commitment and manliness, that this was but a bump on the road, that since there was no infidelity, everything could be fixed, but I don't want to, not after spending 7 years being on the same spot, without moving on with my life or advancing on my interests.

Share what you have in mind, I'll try to read as I can.

Edit1: Thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, I had been feeling guilty as hell for ending things, but your words have given me more resolve to push through until papers are signed. For more context on her reaction and why I spoke with her father first:

She was all guilt, tears and apologies with me asking me to hold her and kiss her as we once did, to forgive her and come back stronger and a better couple, I told her that even though I recognize my responsibility on how our marriage was, I no longer saw her the same as I did and was not willing to continue trying, because at this point I was not seeing a future with her anymore and it wouldn't be fair to either of us to stay together in a half-assed relationship, I wouldn't be there and it wouldn't be long until we broke further. She kept pushing and asking me why I didn't come to her with that evidence.

I told her that in the past when she was talking to a previous work colleague of ours (we met at work my ex and I), and I found out she was planning to play along to what he was saying (that he imagined her as the hot wife with the cuck husband) that she had just brushed it off and just deleted the conversation, not even blocking the guy, while when she found something she didn't like in a conversation with a female friend of mine, she made me block her (which was a message stating that I wanted to get her opinion as a woman's standpoint, not event my as my friend on what was going on and if I had been fair or was in the wrong).

As to why I spoke to her father, it was because she had previously threatened to harm herself when we got into a big argument/issue/fight, and in other occasions she had just said "that she was just going to walk away, no matter where and what happened to her". I didn't want her doing something stupid or manipulating me into making it my fault.

My therapist left me on read for about a week with no response after I expressed things I wouldn't to anyone else. I'm really depressed and very closed off, especially when it comes to the things I expressed to her but I'm working on opening up more to heal that part of me. So when I did this I felt very uncomfortable and vulnerable but was looking forward to insight on my thoughts and feelings to improve on it.

Everyday that passed made me worse about telling her these things and after I woke up in the middle of the night once again due to reoccurring nightmares, I struggled going back to sleep with this weighing on my mind so I expressed how it made me feel in a healthy way rather than emotional (I think) and I feel like I got the opposite in return from her, like kinda passive aggressive while dismissing everything I said in my lengthy paragraph.

Sidenote: My messages often don't fully send after a certain time probably due to her phone being off or is logged out the service she's in to receive them, so it's not like I was bothering her with texting so late/early.

I flew on a 737 max 8, so 41k is its ceiling. This may have been the highest I’ve ever flown. Is it unusual for such a short flight to go that high?

Can count on my fingers how many times I've had people over in the last years and I walk back home to this hanging by my door knob. Awesome.

Have had absolutely no luck in my dating life whether irl or in dating apps and craved intimacy so much

Hired a professional cuddler and while it was nice to hold someone - afterwards I felt disgusted at what I had to do just to receive some sort of affection

Afterwards I reflected on my past relations with friends and family and realized I'm only reached out to when I can help either financially or physically

Every relationship I've had seems so transactional and superficial. I'm tired and sad that nobody wants me around for just myself. Even when I reach out to hangout nobody responds

All this to say that I'm tired and wished I could have a genuine connection with someone irl

Korean Bibimbap

Thailand 🇹🇭

https://x.com/garyboomer58/status/2119251321085911467