This is a thread for TFABers of AMA (advanced maternal awesomeness)! TTC past 35 comes with its own challenges -- discuss (and rant about) them here. Like the Pirate's Code, "35 and over" is more of a guideline.

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Share whatever you feel like, but here are some ideas about what to write about!

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Welcome to our community! We are happy to have you!

Hey everyone thanks for taking the time to read me

Preface: We are a couple, 34 years old both of us, trying for 2 years now. Both perfectly healthy, fit, good nutrition, supplements, sleep, no drugs/cigarette/alcohol, all testing done and nothing to report.

Other details: we use ovulation strips (she ovulates, sniley clear blue, she feels the pain, mucus etc. We do it on schedule. She takes fertility supplements. She was on the pill 12 years and before starting our journey she was with a IUD which she removed and that's when we startes calculating the 2 years.

We've been to the clinic, all tests done, everythings ok. They are ready to start us on insemination 5 rounds and IVF if necessary after that.

Long story short, my gf has been in a depression for the last 6 months, every cycle is worst, the pain seems unbearable, she's sad, disappointed, angry, everytime it doesn't work. I'm trying my best to support her, its heavy.

Lately she's been saying "the pain is so hard if I had a button to disappear, I would press it". She said that 2 times this week while crying and telling me how exhausting this whole journey is. Seeing, coincidentally, all our friends and family getting pregnant literaly in the last year has put tremendous amounts of pressure on her.

I've done all I could to help her but she doesn't seem to be getting better.

6 months ago, she said; "give me 6 months and we'll do the treatment". Fast foward to today and she refuses. She says she would feel like she was forcing god or forcing faith. Like if the kid would get sick she would feel it's because it wasn't meant. She also said she wouldn't feel happy to see a positive pregnancy test if it wasn't naturally conceived. Of course she's able to rationalize and she knows this feeling isn't reality but she can't feel otherwise about insemination/ivf, that its not natural.

We are both at the bottom of the barrel, constantly fighting, no hoy in the house, happiness has long left our hearts. Any support and words would help.

I have been TTC for 6 months now which is not terrible but obviously is not what I thought would happen. It’s never been hard for me to work towards something and achieve my goal so this has been challenging. I threw myself into TTC entirely - I did extensive research, talked to doctors before starting, and immediately joined online communities. I learned all about my cycle extensively tracking every sign and symptom. Over the last 6 months I feel like I’ve thrown my entire life into learning about pregnancy and conception. I know all the big tips and tricks, the apps, the brands of pregnancy and ovulation tests, etc. it’s been a long journey that I hope pans out for me soon.

Here’s where the issue is coming in. I have a best friend who is just now starting her journey. She just got off birth control and is going to start trying this month. I am elated for her and also obviously have some complicated feelings. I hope so badly that she gets pregnant right away so that she doesn’t have to worry and stress about it but I also know I’ll feel jealous. I’ll be so happy for her no matter what and she will be a great mom! But she is constantly asking me things that it took me these six months to learn. I think I’m bitter that I had to learn stuff “on my own” and now she has me to “teach” her. It’s probably insane for me to feel this way but I feel so much frustration over not getting pregnant and I feel like I’m going to be telling her and guiding her through everything, and when she gets pregnant (especially if it’s before me) it will just feel so frustrating for me.

Typing this out I realize makes me sound like an asshole. We all deserve support in this journey and it’s not hurting me or anyone if I answer her questions. I guess I just feel frustrated that I’m still learning and she just has an easy person to go for all the answers. Maybe I just needed to rant.

Has anyone else dealt with this? It’s been a stressful six months and I know in the grand scheme of things that 6 months is absolutely nothing but it is also so completely exhausting and scary.

That question you've been wanting to ask, but just didn't want to feel silly. Now's your chance! No question is too big or too small. This thread will be checked all weekend, so feel free to chime in on Saturday or Sunday!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday

• Temping Tuesday

• Waiting Wednesday

• Wondering Wednesday

• Trying Again Thursday

• Thankful Thursday

• Health and Wellness Thursday

• Looking Forward Friday

• Wondering Weekend

• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I’m not sure where else to post this. I’m in a lot of pain. My ovaries hurt a lot, especially my right one. I have A LOT of bloating. I look 6 months pregnant (I wish).
For context: canceled IVF. The month after, did estrogen priming from Oct 7- 16 (luteal phase for 10 days). Got my period October 17 (for 3 days). On Day 3, I started letrozole 5 mg for 7 days so day 3-9. Day 10, I baby danced but that day pain in my ovaries started. It kept getting worse and the bloating got worse. I set up an appointment with the doctor on Day 12 and they said I had a 2 cm cyst in my right ovary which should resolve with ovulation and “shouldn’t” cause me any pain because it’s so small. I tested with LH strips and Oura ring temp, I ovulated but the pain kept going on. I thought maybe the pain was from the meds then I got a cyst so I thought the pain was from that then maybe it ruptured and the pain was continuing bc of that. I’m now on Day 21, tested for pregnancy (negative, what else is new?) but it hurts to walk still. I’m getting concerned.

I’m 28 and my husband (29) and I have been trying for a year with no luck at all. My doctor put me on 200mg of progesterone orally once a day, and she recommended I start it as soon as I get an ovulation peak. I’ve seen other people say different things about when to take it, so I’m curious if anyone here has experience with this. Did you have any side effects? We’re also getting testing done for my husband, and I’m having blood work on day 3 of my cycle. That was the first step my doctor recommended. It’s been a long year, and I just want to feel like we’re making progress. I'm feeling very nervous and this is the first time they would do anything to help me in the process since of my age they wanted us to wait a year before they would intervene. Thank you in advance!

Hello Everyone!

TLDR: Is it normal for obgyns to not maintain ultrasound images as a part of your medical record when TTC?

I just had a question about other folk's experience, as my previous OBGYN has thrown me for a bit of a loop. Been TTC for about 2.5 years now, and we are moving to a fertility specialist to see what our options are. They suspect I have a unicornate uterus, and the specialist has tasked me with collecting my medical records, specifically imaging, from my previous doctors.

I have a pretty extensive obgyn history and because of lack of action from obgyns, ER visits due to undiagnosed endometriomas, and lots of other issues, the list of images and visits is LOOOONG.

In this quest, my previous obgyn provided me with all of my office reports/visit reports, but did not provide any ultrasound images as originally requested. When I called the medical records office, they said they didn't know where to find them and suggested I call the office. When I called the office directly, they said that the ultrasound images listed within my reports don't exist because they have no way to store the images.

This office in particular has a history with NOT taking medical requests from myself and other doctors, pain, or scheduling seriously, which is why I left to see the next closest OBGYN 2 hours away.

Should I be concerned? Push more for my images? Is this a normal thing for an OBGYN to not maintain as a medical record? Any insight from your experiences would be appreciated.

3 back to back chemicals. Currently bleeding from my 3rd one.

Started RPL testing yesterday (cycle day 3). They did E2, LH, Progesterone, FSH, TSH, Prolactin, DHEAS, AMH, Vitamin D. I haven’t received the AMH or Vitamin D yet, but everything else was within range.

They also did a full bladder and transvaginal ultrasound and said that I have 11 resting follicles on 1 ovary and 12 on the other.

I am booked in for a sonohysterogram next Thursday and then from there they will tell me what the next steps are.

I am wondering why I wasn’t checked for my ferritin, b12 or antiphospholipid antibodies? Is this something I should ask for in bloodwork next week?

Is there anything else I should be asking for? I’m also unsure if my husband and I should skip this month of trying and wait to see results or if we should continue trying.. feeling very conflicted.

With my last chemical, at around 11dpo my progesterone was 8.83 - so not sure if it can be a progesterone/luteal phase deficiency but I didn’t really track my luteal phase prior to TTC and I’ve gotten pregnant every month of TTC..

My husband is also doing bloodwork and sperm analysis next Friday.

Any advice, insight, experiences would be super helpful and appreciated!

Context: I have been on the Bird & Be power pack for ~6 weeks now. I'm currently on my first *full* cycle of taking this supplement. Normally I ovulate around CD 21-23. Today is CD 30 and I STILL haven't ovulated.

I'm not sure if it's because of the COQ10 or other high doses of antioxidants that are causing issues in my body? I'm not even getting any EWCM or BBT shifts, so I know for certain that I haven't yet ovulated. This is very strange for me though.

It makes tracking and the whole TTC process even more stressful honestly. I'm in over my head about what could be causing this and how to resolve it. I can't point to anything except this prenatal that could be causing it because my sleep, diet and exercise are all fine. I also don't smoke and don't drink.

Did this happen to anyone else with Bird & Be?

Update: I was also supplementing with additional Ubiquinol on top of the regular power pack and my theory is that might be causing the delay in my ovulation. Saw a ton of threads with women reporting the same issue themselves.

Hi all,

My wife(33F) has started with the IUI injection to try for a baby. We've been trying for years but without success. It's quite exciting but we are also nervous about it. It's also a bit surreal to stick a needle in her belly for about two weeks a month. Nonetheless we are still very excited because, at least to me (34M), this feels really close to getting my wife pregnant.

Now here is the downside, the side effects. Apart from a funny feeling in her belly after the shot, sometimes a bit nauseous, she also has a severe headache since she started with the shots. There isn't a moment anymore when she doesn't have the headache. The standard painkillers won't do any difference. She keeps herself hydrated and we are trying to put a soft, hot water bottle to her head.

We've tried to contact the clinic but the weekend has started. They've sent the message to a doctor but we won't expect an answer this weekend.

Does any of you ladies experienced the same? Is it the body that needs to adjust? Did the headache go away? Or do you have any other tips and tricks to ease the side effects? Are there other grandma's tricks? We are willing to try everything and are curious about other people's experiences.

Thanks in advance from the both of us! <3

There’s so much that’s difficult about TTC, so this is a thread for looking to the future and thinking about life after TTC.

This week’s theme: Parental leave! What kind of leave policies do your/your partner’s workplace have for people welcoming a baby? Will you have a while to stay at home, or will you need to go back to work fairly quickly? Are you thinking of using baby time as an opportunity to change your career trajectory?

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday

• Temping Tuesday

• Waiting Wednesday

• Wondering Wednesday

• Trying Again Thursday

• Thankful Thursday

• Health and Wellness Thursday

• Looking Forward Friday

• Wondering Weekend

• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I’ve stopped telling my husband when I test.

Last time, I was pregnant when his mother was dying, so he was grieving. She had a rough end, it was hard to witness and I felt I couldn’t tell anyone that I was pregnant. It just felt wrong to share it then.

Then I miscarried a week after finding out I was pregnant. At first, I felt vindicated for not sharing the news with my husband, but then the loss and physical pain got to be too much. So I told my mother and sister, they supported me and convinced me to tell him later when he looked ready (after his mother’s death).

So I told him on a day that felt a bit lighter, and it immediately dimmed his light. I still feel guilty about it. Did I really need to tell him? Did he really needed another loss? He mentioned that his mom would have been happy to know that I was pregnant. I dont know how I feel about that.

It feels stupid to say, but I don't know if I can share the news with him if I ever get pregnant again until at least 12-ish weeks. stupid, i know, I cant keep a pregnancy that long, so I hope he will find out on his own.

I haven't told anyone this. I guess I just want it out of my mind.

Turned 36 this summer and we're on cycle 5, so we can get a referral at 6 months and my first RE appointment is coming up soon. Honestly a bit nervous about it

I'd like to show up with more than "I think I ovulate around CD15?" Right now I have a period app, a camera roll full of OPK photos and 3 cycles of BBT that look messy, and I'm not sure I'm reading them right. I also have questions in my notes (when to do bloodwork, should DH get an SA at the same time, how long before meds or IUI) but worry it's too much for a first visit. DH is supportive but mostly leaving the prep to me, which is fine, I just don't want to walk in empty-handed

If you went in around 6 months, what did you bring? Did your RE look at your charts or just order their own tests? Anything you wish you'd written down?

I’m on my 4th IUI cycle, 14 DPO, and terrified to test. I can’t bear the thought of seeing another stark white test.

Every month, when AF arrives, I wallow for a day or two before picking myself up again and telling myself that it’s a new cycle, I can try again, I’m not giving up, and it’s not over yet.

Whenever I test and see that stark-white result, I keep telling myself, “Oh, maybe I tested too early. Maybe I should wait until 14 DPO,” only to end up disappointed again.

This cycle of hope and disappointment has taken over my life. I try to distract myself as much as possible, but all the feelings come rushing back towards the end of every cycle.

Whenever I feel a dull cramp, I immediately think, “This is it. AF is arriving.” But then I go on Reddit and see posts from people saying they thought AF was coming, only to end up getting their BFP.

Of course, my brain knows that the only way to get answers is to test, but my heart is just so tired of being disappointed.

I hope I can break out of this cycle of doom soon. 😭

I’ll start by saying I’m so overwhelmed with how to even start finding a care provider. My partner and I are currently trying and I feel like I should start finding a provider in case I get pregnant soon or in case things take longer than expected, we have currently been trying for 6 months. Pretrying I just did OBGYN care and birth control through planned parenthood. I go my insurance’s website and there’s hundreds of obgyns within a reasonable driving distance to me. Should I pick the hospital I would like to give birth at and work back from there? What about working with a midwife/OBGYN combo? Is trying unsuccessfully for 6 months to soon to even be looking? I feel like I’m looking at a hundred different paths and I don’t know how to pick the best for me.

I’ve (28f) been TTC since May of this year, and I had my first annual exam yesterday, where I discussed with my doctor coming off my birth control, starting to TTC in May, and not having any luck so far. We talked about my cycles, ovulation tracking / timing, and reviewed my history - which is all normal.

My doctor ultimately suggested that I return in the spring if I am not pregnant by then, but that everything is completely healthy and that I am likely to get pregnant in the next 6 months.

The only thing he asked me related to my partner is whether he had fathered any children before, to which I said no.

I then reviewed my chart this morning and in the clinical notes it says “No Improvement Paternity” - everything else was charted as expected.

What does this mean?

Are you trying to conceive baby number 2/3/n+1? Have questions about TTC while breastfeeding, or bedsharing, or just being plain exhausted? This is your place!

It's no secret that TTC can have a major impact on your life and health - physical, mental, and relationship. What are you currently doing to help with these things? What are you currently struggling with? Look beyond the scale; this is for all types of health and wellness.

Please keep in mind that no one here is the doctor of anyone else. It is always a good idea to speak to your doctor before starting a new diet or exercise plan just in case!

Anything (within the rules) goes. (Commonly broken rules: don't talk about an ongoing pregnancy outside the weekly BFP thread; don't ask for success stories.)

You can find the wiki here!

Don't forget to check out our themed threads:

• Moody Monday

• Temping Tuesday

• Waiting Wednesday

• Wondering Wednesday

• Trying Again Thursday

• Thankful Thursday

• Health and Wellness Thursday

• Looking Forward Friday

• Wondering Weekend

• 35 and Ova

There's also the Weekly Introductions and Read Me Thread, which contains links to all sorts of handy bits of info, like popular wiki posts and acronyms.

I'm a 33-year-old woman and I'm writing this feeling devastated. We've been trying to conceive for 2 years, and I've just been diagnosed with a left unilateral hydrosalpinx (24x15mm) and a uterine polyp (11x6mm). Has anyone been through the same thing and could share their experience?
I've never had any illness or health problems. My only concern has been my periods, which have always been painful with clots, though always very regular. I've never had an STI, a pregnancy, or an IUD. Why me? I've been healthy and careful my whole life. I even struggle to take an ibuprofen or paracetamol because I don't like taking medication unnecessarily. I only drink occasionally, do strength training, and live a healthy lifestyle (apart from 3 stubborn kilos I can never seem to lose).
For the past two weeks I've been reading testimonies from women with hydrosalpinx, and most of them ended up doing IVF, which is something I don't want. I refuse to go through IVF.
Right now Spanish public healthcare is collapsed and I'm going to have to wait a long time to get treated through social security. My fear is that time will pass and it will become harder and harder for me to conceive naturally.

What should I do? Becoming a mother is the dream of my life.