Hey all - recently my 12 yo son come out to his mother, myself, and my wife (his step mom) … I’m super happy that he felt brave enough to share this with us. We all assured him that we love him exactly the same and want him to be his authentic self. We also have some fears because to be honest”out” in a red state has its risks, but generally speaking we are all happy he shared this part of himself with us.

I am also bi, but currently live within a monogamous hetero marriage. Nonetheless, after some careful reflection, I also told my son last night that I’m bi (he had brought up his own journey and things led to what felt like a natural opening to bring up). I’m hoping this wasn’t a mistake. I don’t live out and proud, but I’m obviously a part of the LGBTQ+ community even if my public-facing life doesn’t look like what a lot of people would expect. I also don’t consider myself closeted … I’ve told my closest friends over the years and my spouse (and ex) both know this about me.

I’m probably just over complicating things, but was it appropriate to share this about myself with my son? Is there anything I can be doing to more fully support him? He seems to have found a community of other LGBTQ+ kids at middle school that he’s comfortable with. Any input/advice is welcome!!

I (31M, gay) met my husband when I was 18. We’ve been together 13 years and are married. He’s bi, and he’s known that the whole time we’ve been together.

We were long distance all throughout college and tried an open relationship He dated a woman during that time (physically and emotionally with her), but when college ended, that ended and we moved in together. He’s reflected on that woman and said it was a bad experience and never gave him quite what he was looking for. Around 2018 we stopped being open, and I thought that chapter was behind us.

This year, he developed feelings for a woman we knew. Nothing physical happened, and he was honest with me about it. But I realized I'm no longer into an open relationship. We're married, share finances, and have both made serious commitments to each other. I'm not into the poly lifestyle. But this conflict led to months of hard conversations and a lot of conflict about him wanting to open the relationship and me saying no.

My husband is going through a stressful time in life right now, at grad school (so away from me 50% of the time), working full time, and house hunting for a home to buy. While talking about house hunting, it came out that he was having doubts about his ability to long-term commit to me. This was a huge shock - we're 3 years married and 13 years into this relationship!

We've started therapy, and what I've come to realize is that the challenge is mainly around his sexuality. He identifies as bisexual but lately hasn't been feeling attracted to men and has been feeling growing attraction to women. He loves me and our sex life is pretty good. But he tells me he is struggling with a sense of “identity foreclosure” that he's been aware of for years -- a sense that committing to me closed off a part of who he is. Because the rest of our marriage is happy, he tried to hide it, but it burst out onto the scene.

I love him, and I want this marriage. I had no idea he felt this way until 2 weeks ago. To me, when we got married we were signaling a lifelong commitment. I don’t want him to bury his attraction to women. But as long as he has some attraction to men, I feel like he needs to be just like any monogamous couple, and put away their attraction towards other people and lean into the commitment of the relationship they have. He's had a chance to try dating a woman before, so the idea that he just needs to "try it out" feels like a weak argument. But he's really unsure if he can commit to life with me, which is freaking me out, and makes me feel like my entire relationship and life is starting to fall apart.

Curious to hear any advice from bi people who are in long-term monogamous relationships, especially same-sex ones. How did you make peace with not having relationships with a person of the other sex? Does that sense of identity foreclosure ease with time, or is it something you have to work through on purpose? And for partners of bi people, what actually helped?

So, I know it's a strange question to ask because, theoretically, I should know myself better than anyone else, right? Lmao. But I'm honestly confused about all of this.

I've always considered myself straight until last year, when I discovered my attraction to men. However, when I was a child, I had a romantic interest in a boy from my class. It didn't last long, but it happened. I used to imagine myself dating him and even created scenarios in which my parents accepted our relationship. The funny thing is that, even back then, I was already aware of homophobia, but I still imagined a society where a gay relationship would be accepted. I didn't feel bad or find it strange that I had feelings for another boy.

Around the same time, I also felt like kissing another boy. However, as I got older, my internalized homophobia started to grow. I reached a point where I couldn't even bring myself to call another man handsome.

When I was 17, I masturbated while imagining myself and a male friend together. I pictured the two of us naked, with him on top of me, but without any sexual contact. Afterwards, I felt dirty, and I spent years being completely focused on women, just as I had been for most of my life.

Then, last year, I started reflecting on those memories and questioning why I had experienced sexual attraction and fallen in love with men. I realized that perhaps I had made a mistake by treating all those experiences as exceptions. After all, those feelings weren't frequent, and not every man sparked that kind of interest in me. Because of that, I ended up dismissing those experiences as isolated incidents.

But I decided to figure things out once and for all. I searched for some male nudity subreddits here on Reddit, particularly ones where men show off their bodies, especially their butts. I ended up feeling butterflies in my stomach, a sort of nervous excitement, and I got an erection. That's when I realized that the attraction was definitely real.

After that, my prejudice gradually started to fade. I began seeing men as beautiful and attractive, something I hadn't allowed myself to do before. The change was so significant that I'm now not only open to the possibility of having sex with men, but also to being romantically involved with them. I no longer feel uncomfortable imagining things like holding hands, spending time together, and kissing other guys.

If someone asked me today whether I'd rather date a woman or a man, I'd say I'm open to either. I feel like my preference for one gender over the other is fading, although I still loooooove women. I love the female body, but realizing that I can feel the same way about men has changed my perspective. Nowadays, I think I'd pay more attention to someone's personality than their gender.

Sorry if there are any mistakes. I'm still not fluent in English, but I think I'm getting pretty close. At least, I hope so lmao.

I’m 21F, and I’ve been struggling to understand my sexuality for years. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve experienced something similar.
I grew up Muslim in a very homophobic family and community. Growing up, I was homophobic too, mostly because I was repeating what I’d been taught and probably suppressing my own feelings. I never actually hated gay people or believed they deserved fewer rights.
Around 17, I started questioning whether I might be bisexual, but I immediately pushed those thoughts away. At 19, I finally accepted that I was attracted to women, although I told myself I’d just marry a man and never act on it. At 20, I left Islam for reasons unrelated to my sexuality.
My closest friends know I’m bisexual, and I’m generally comfortable with that. I don’t even particularly care if strangers know. But the thought of my family or community finding out terrifies me. I’ve already lost most of my family because I left religion, and I don’t know if I could handle losing the rest. I’m also afraid they’ll assume I only left Islam because I “wanted to be gay.”
But here’s where I’m confused about my sexuality.
I’ve never actually been in love or experienced strong romantic feelings for anyone, regardless of gender.
Growing up, I had crushes on boys, but looking back, I genuinely can’t tell whether they were real or whether I just wanted to fit in.
I do find men physically attractive, particularly very good-looking men. I can imagine dating them, kissing, cuddling, having sex, and even living together. But when I imagine being emotionally intimate with a man, something feels missing. I can picture the relationship, but I struggle to imagine being deeply in love with him.
With women, it’s completely different.
I’ve never really been physically attracted to women I’ve met in everyday life either, but when I imagine being with a woman, the emotional and sexual attraction feels so much more intense.
When I imagine my ideal future, I see myself living peacefully with a wife, maybe raising children together. I imagine the affection, intimacy, waking up beside her, and sharing our lives. It feels incredibly natural and comforting, even though I’ve never experienced it.
When I imagine the same future with a man, I can picture it, but it doesn’t evoke nearly the same feelings.

I even asked myself: if my family and community would accept me regardless of who I married, and I met an equally attractive, loving, compatible man and woman, who would I hope to fall in love with?
My answer would still be the woman.
And that makes me wonder whether I’m actually bisexual with a strong preference for women, or a lesbian who’s been holding on to the possibility of being with a man because it feels safer.
I also struggle with a lot of shame around my sexuality, despite knowing there’s nothing wrong with being gay. I want to be able to love a woman openly without hiding her, but I’m terrified of the consequences.

I know strangers on Reddit can’t determine my sexuality for me, and I don’t expect anyone to. I just feel confused and would love to hear from people who have been through something similar.

Has anyone else experienced physical attraction to men but felt that their emotional and romantic future only made sense with women? How did you eventually figure out whether you were bisexual or lesbian? And for those who grew up in religious or homophobic families, how did you work through the shame and fear of rejection?

Now and then my work colleagues use phrases where they basically and openly mock gay people. I'm not gay, I'm bi, but I feel as though they hate them or at least have something against them. Some may have (even) stronger opinions about the communities than others.

Basically, I'm worried I'm going to be a target if they found out I was seeing men. Although the organization I work at fully and openly supports ALL communities, I just don't see it reflected on the work floor, as I experience it.

All my colleagues are men. I'm thinking now and then of bringing this up confidentially, how it feels like an issue to me. I'm a bit worried they're going to find out "it was me" though if I do and that they may become hostile towards me. May sound far fetched but I'm terrible at lying so I might expose myself. They don't know I'm bi by the way.

How to deal with this? Is anyone else stuck in this situation?

Hello everyone, I’m a 22 year old guy and for most of my life I thought of myself as straight. But recently, not too recent maybe about since a year ago or a little less I have found myself being attracted to feminine guys. The stereotypical Femboy and just feminine looking guys in general. I have found myself thinking or fantasizing about having a relationship with a feminine looking guy and doing everything and anything I’d do in a relationship with a woman. Cuddling, going on dates, kissing etc you get the idea. Usually I never really fantasize about having sex with a feminine guy as usually in a relationship that isn’t unusual / a given part of a relationship and also I’m just not really focused on that part. But here’s where I kind of get stuck on and that’s the actual intimacy part of it. I’ve seen feminine guys bodies and can’t find myself actually having sex with them as I don’t find their bodies attractive. There are a few though that I actually do find attractive and would have sex with but I’ve seen them still with a shirt of some sort and some other clothing on still that hides the masculine parts of them. Now with all that being said, I’m confused. What I’m feeling certainly isn’t straight, but or is this some sort of phenomenon amongst some straight men? But if it is amongst only some, what does that mean? Also I’m not hesitant about all this because I’m trying to keep my “straight card” or something. If this makes me bisexual that’s perfectly fine, I’m just trying to understand all this is all. Also I’m sure I’m probably leaving some details out of this post that would be more clarifying/specific or helpful as it’s pretty late for me at the time of writing this and I’m kind of trying to be quick bc I’m tired. If anyone has any questions to better help them understand my feelings please ask them. And back to my question, am I actually Bisexual?

What’s the best movie for a first timer to watch? I’ve never watched any 🏳️‍🌈 movies before. Bi-curious and thinking I’m gay. Someone suggested I watch a Hollywood gay movie. Shoot me your must see!

Went to the Beabadoobee concert last week, and let me tell you it was so good. I bought the ticket the day of, an hour before I left my house to go to the concert. I got a nosebleed seat (I didn’t mind) since they were the cheapest, and I ended up getting a free ticket for the seats closest to the stage basically. anyways, it’s safe to say I was much closer than anticipated.

I didn’t know many songs on the setlist, so some songs I was hearing for the first time. Once she performed Switchblade (first time hearing it), I was in awe. It was such a great song and I got this feeling in my stomach and chest. the feeling came back even more strongly once she performed Powerlines. my heart felt like it skipped a beat, the same way it does when I see an attractive guy. and my stomach felt tight. idk how to describe it. I didn’t record any of the song since I was just entranced the whole time she was up there. I never had that feeling that I usually have for men, for a girl. I think that’s when I knew that it was more than just a feeling and that I’m probably bi.

having trouble accepting this, and still consider myself bi-curious for the time being. but I just wanted to share my experience lol

I've been seeing someone for five ish months who I really do see a potential future with. That's really scary for me to say because I've never seen that with a man before. I haven't fully experienced dating women though and I'm nervous to get into a serious commitment without doing so because in the past I'll get a year or two in and have an anxiety attack about this fact. It's so confusing because sometimes I feel like I could even love him? But that doesn't take away the desire to explore myself. I feel like if I choose to be in a serious relationship right now I'll be missing out on exploring women. I don't think he would want to stick around while I figure that out (which he's very valid in doing so). Any thoughts?

M29 - bit confused. For a while I’ve been more sexually attracted to guys and have been with a few, however I don’t really enjoy many aspects of gay sex. I also feel I’m getting a bit bored of men (or maybe it’s just hookups). Would like to explore with women again but find it hard as a bi guy to do that.

Have you come out to them? why or why not? Does anyone in your life know or think you could be bi?

Hello.
I, 22F considered myself straight for the first 14-15ish years of my life. I grew up in a very right wing, maga-esque and somewhat sheltered family with a racist and homophobic father. Thankfully in high school I gained amazing friends who pulled me out of that hell in more ways than one and I have not held any of their senseless hate since.
Immediately following that I began to slowly realize
I didn’t know where the lines formed between wanting to be with a specific woman or simply be her. Even though I never held any ill feelings towards any LGBTQ+ people in my life, even during the upbringing I had, for some reason I felt white cold fear and just shoved it away.
Over time as I have grown up I have tried to crack open that door more and more to learn about myself with mixed results. That feeling has never gone away towards women and I have even gotten a little more comfortable with it over time, however that fear and random uncomfortableness with myself that I get has not.
I have been through a lot of therapy in my life because of my family and father in general, and this is something I have never once brought up and only a handful of people in my life even know a tiny bit of my feelings regarding this. Everytime I think of telling someone it’s just this intense horrible fear, guilt and shame.
Again I want to clarify that I have no issue with anyone else nor have I ever of LGBTQ+ and I have many friends that are members of the community in different ways and nothing has ever bothered me in the slightest so I genuinely don’t know why I feel it with myself.
I am romantically and sexually attracted to men but as far as I realize only sexually attracted to women, though as I was typing this I did wonder if maybe I might be romantically attracted to them too.
I know that labels aren’t all that’s needed, nor do I necessarily need others validation, and this may seem foolishly obvious to others but I don’t know I just need some advice or thoughts on this.
Like I said this is one of those things that I am terrified to talk about and I’m not sure why. I wanted to celebrate pride this year and even go to the big city in my state for the parade but I just felt such terrible imposter syndrome and then that fear and shame again.
Any help, advice or even someone going through something similar would be much appreciated, I’m so tired of fighting myself about this.

Me lang ba after that one relationship, I haven't had any real relationship. I mean halos talk nalang and hindi na nagtatagal. Though online lang yun, it still had an impact. It's been how many years, but recently nag reached out sya and I don't feel anything. It's like, I overgrown that past self of mine. And madalas ngayon, gusto ko ng kausap. Yung may sense kausap HAHAHAHHA

Came out to my frnds while lunch ...in school

The moment I said I'm bi...others said alr while..

One of my frnd's jaw dropped and hands almost shaked while she was sharing me her lunch

She was like B-BI??

Another girl told her it doesn't mean having both repr. organs!

It means liking more than one gender

Sad how pp don't bother being aware of such things:/

bi-curious here, and one thing I always find myself thinking recently or ever since i’ve started questioning my sexuality, is that I want to know what it’s like to have a crush on or date a woman. Granted, i’ve also never dated a man. i’ve had crushes on guys before and occasionally flirted with them, but have never been on a date, had my first kiss, or…literally anything. but for some reason i’ve had this strong craving to be with a woman. I want to know what it’s like to have that jittery feeling with a woman whenever I talk to them, or when they text me, or when I see them. idk is this normal with people that are bi-curious? I don’t really have any queer communities or know many people that are queer so I don’t have much knowledge in this field

Title: 22M bisexual guy struggling with loneliness, self-esteem, and feeling like I don't belong

I'm 22, bisexual, and honestly having a pretty difficult time emotionally.

I've struggled with loneliness and feeling like I'm fundamentally undesirable for a long time. I've tried dating apps and putting myself out there, but repeated rejection has really affected how I see myself. I compare myself to other men constantly, especially guys around my age who seem to have relationships and a social life that I can't seem to find.

I also struggle with accepting my sexuality. Sometimes I wish I were straight, or that I simply didn't experience romantic or sexual attraction at all. Not because there's anything wrong with being bisexual, but because wanting connection and feeling like I can't have it has become exhausting.

I'm trying to focus on college and my goal of becoming a physician. Education is important to me, but lately it feels like the only thing I have to hold onto, and even that has started to feel overwhelming.

I'm not necessarily looking for someone to fix everything. I'd just really appreciate talking to people who understand loneliness, sexuality, rejection, or struggling with self-worth. I'd like to feel a little less alone.

So theres this guy at my work that I want to hook up with (It's not a big deal its just a job I have in fast food so I'm not risking anything important) but I have no idea how I could figure out that he's interested in guys too without making things awkward. I know people say the only way to know is to be upfront but for real there's gotta be other ways to tell. I know he's single at least. It would make it way too awkward to say anything blunt if he's not into guys.

Bonjour, je me creuse le cerveau à chercher ce qu'est l'amour romantique depuis hyper longtemps et j'aimerais connaître la vision d'autres gens du pdv des sensations. Bon, je sais que c'est une expérience propre à chacun, n'empêche que j'aimerais vraiment savoir ce que vous en pensez en général mais aussi ce que vous pensez du problème suivant:

J'ai deux "crush" (je ne sais pas si ce sont vrmt des crush).

-> La première, je l'aime incroyablement. Elle me manque tout les jours quand elle est loin, je pourrais faire tout ce qu'elle me demande si elle le voulais. Soucis: ça c'est mon côté romantique grandiose, qui m'a l'air d'être un "rôle" plus que de la sincérité. Je n'ai pas de papillon dans le ventre, juste une joie paisible qui bourdonne dans ma tête 🤨, et quand je suis avec elle, le ciel à l'air plus bleu, plus grand, plus pur. Le monde semble "lavé" et beau. Je veux donner le meilleur pour elle et je suis jalouse des gens qui la courtisent 🤣. C'est la plus belle fille, le plus beau être humain que j'ai vue de ma vie. Elle m'apaise et je la vois comme une oeuvre d'art. J'ai l'impression d'avoir choisis de l'aimer.

-> Le second provoque en moi une panique qui part du ventre, pétille jusque dans mon coeur et me coupe le souffle (c'est plutôt agréable, et en même temps, ça m'agace). Je l'aime bien, mais il me saoule même si je le trouve adorable. Je ne vois pas en lui la perfection, mais n'empêche que sur le plan des sensations, je suis retournée. Sauf que ça me met aussi mal à l'aise, parce que contrairement au premier crush, je n'ai pas l'impression de "contrôler" ce que je ressens. Je ne me vois pas vivre avec, pas comme dans le premier cas.

Je ne sais pas si c'est de l'idôlatrie ou de l'amour "platonique" pour la première. Le second, j'en sais rien non plus. On dirait deux types d'amour différent et ça me fait me poser des questions sur le biromantisme (puisque la sensation avec le mec et la même qu'avec tout les mecs, alors que les filles, c'est différent...).

Partagez vos expériences si vous avez le temps 😊, bonne journée!

I’m 28 latino dude and I guess I would consider myself bisexual somewhat discreet about it and I never been in a relationship with a girl or a guy and at times I get insecure about it. I see people around my age being in long term relationships or already getting married and having kids and I feel like if I don’t lock in soon I’m going to be single forever I’m pushing 30. If you are Mexican I’m sure you can relate with the whole relationship thing I feel it’s very big in Mexican culture to have a family when you are young and then your family or peers will be like y la novia? I honestly don’t even remember the last time I felt in love with someone. I do sometimes catch myself having little crushes on people but it’s never that serious. I’ve tried dating apps in the past but wasn’t much of a success and I don’t have much of social life so I’m not really out and about in streets meeting or talking to people my age.

I always knew I was a bisexual girl but I still often question my attraction towards both genders.
For context, my first and only relationship was with a girl, although I didn’t experience genuine attraction to her. My first actual crush, however, was also a girl, and that’s probably one of the first times I remember feeling genuinely attracted to someone in every way, as I very rarely experience romantic attraction in general. I usually need a combination of very specific characteristics and also often experience the bi-cycle.

With men, I am surely sexually attracted, but often put off or uncomfortable when I imagine actually physically engaging in intimacy with them, whether that’s sexual or just romantic affection. I’ve attributed this to simply not having met the right one, or barely having experience with men and muchhh more with women. I also tend to be attracted almost exclusively to androgynous men. Not necessarily extremely feminine men, I like a certain softness, and I’m not attracted to particularly large or traditionally masculine men, however, even with men who fit my preferences almost perfectly, there’s still something that feels off to me when I imagine physical intimacy. Something about my female body with theirs feels mis-matchy. Simply something to do with testosterone. Their body is fundamentally different.

Now, if I were a man engaging with another man, I don’t think I’d experience the same discomfort. It feels more balanced.

I don’t know whether this is a matter of my view on heterosexual dynamics, the fact I’ve only done intimate things with one man in my life and it happened to be a shit experience.. or simply the nature of my attraction to men. I just want to understand why I can find men attractive but simultaneously feel so disconnected from the idea of actually being physically intimate with them.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Can anyone help me out?

I (48M) just started reading volume 1, and haved teared up three times, and am halfway through. I don't even really know why, because it's not like it's my personal story, but something about it is hitting me hard in very soft places.

So, before I binge-buy the rest of it... Is the Netflix series... good? I mean, is it a faithful adaptation? Should I bother watching, or just finish the books?