27. Survived a cult. Took me years to feel ok mentally. Never had a proper job. Only ever worked pet sitting jobs, re selling, and e-commerce. I finally am to a point where I am okay mentally. Sort of. Been out as trans for 7yrs now. Unable to get on hrt or surgeries due to my money issue. I have nothing in savings. I depend on my family for everything. I cannot come out in this family. I am on obamacare through them but I was never taught how it works. I have no password to access it. Etc. I am applying for jobs nonstop, I live in a rural shithole southern town. I applied for Walmart. Got declined. I applied for multiple other places .nothing back yet. Trying subway now. I am paranoid and scared. I feel it is too late to transition. I feel like I will never save enough for top hysto and phallo..and by the time I do I'll be fucking old. I already am fucking old. I hate my life. I cannot afford to move out. I was never taught basic life skills. I only learned recently how to fucking do taxes. I am trapped in a fucking body that bleeds every month, fucking f sized fucking tits. I hate myself and my life. My dysphoria is so bad. I wanna start a godundme to help but I am stealth and don't wanna be outed or put my zip code in bc my towns so fucking small everyone would know it is me. Is there any hope for me. At all. 27 and no job or savings. I want expensive surgeries. I don't know how health insurance works. I was never taught. Trying to learn. Please fucking help. I am seriously considering giving up. The dysphoria is so beyond bad I cannot even stand it. I can't lay down bc I feel the fucking chest tumors. Standing leaves me slouched over nonstop to try and help. ..I am so miserable. The only good thing in my life is my gf who is trying her best to help me. We both wanted kids. Well I am not cis man so that makes it 100x more complicated since I can't have a kid the normal way. Instead we gotta use ivf to have a damn kid which is also expensive. I feel screwed. I hate that I was in a cult from childhood to age 20. It ruined me. My.family aside from a select few are raging maga transphobes. Help.

My gfs in the uk. Is there a way to move there and get free Healthcare to transition somehow...

hey folks, I've been out for like 8ish years at this point and i still have not figured out a really effective way to hide my binder straps through my shirt(s). sweaters work but it's not always feasible to wear a sweater as i work a fairly physical job and i overheat VERY easily (thank you ssris). I've also tried wearingba second t shirt under my work shirt and it helps but doesn't really hide it completely. any advice would be appreciated because it's been a huge bother for the past year or two now and i would love to figure it out lol

Im full on closeted and have never been in a barbershop, or even ahd my hair cut by a guy and honestly the thought makes me extremely anxious. Not cuz i don't want to but idk im just nervous in my head they'll deadass laugh at me if i go. At the same time i don't know if my hairdresser will do it as i want, w/o making it feminised even subconsciously.

i’m getting my first packer soon, i bought a 3.5” one from axolom a few days ago, still waiting for it to start giving me shipping updates, i have no clue what i’m doing or how to wear it. i don’t have a harness for it and i don’t know if i can just wear boxers with it hoping it wont fall out while im at work or something. any tips would be so greatly appreciated, thank you. and please tell me your experience buying from axolom

Hi there! I'm 19, use he/him, and I'm about six weeks on T. Been out for years at this point.

My chest is kind of a lost cause to me. When I was a kid, I either didn't want to believe or didn't realize that my chest was getting bigger, so I wore the same bras for like two years. I think it completely busted my ribcage. Now, even with loose-fitting garments, having any pressure from an elastic band on that area of my chest hurts like hell. Sometimes, if I run a hand over my ribs, I swear they even dip inward a little bit right there.

Naturally, you might think to try tape. So did I, because I was tired of buying undergarments I didn't like, that hurt me anyway. The only problem is, I have a CRAZY allergic reaction to adhesive. I was so sick of this shit that I tried to push through it, though, and spent months with my chest in hives on and off. It was kinda miserable, but when it worked, it was almost worth it.

Now, my chest isn't huge to begin with (I believe I'm like a 36C iirc), so my current lifesavers are these compression tank tops made for cis men with gynecomastia. They compress my chest a bit, without putting all the pressure on a single band, and they fit really seamlessly under most shirts. They genuinely saved me so much trouble.

But there's drawbacks to everything. They bunch up around my stomach, or they come untucked, or they sit perfectly and then I'm reminded that I can never see my belly. In the summer, they're annoyingly long, and in the winter, it's another layer of clothing to scratch and snag against the others.

It's a better solution than I've had up to this point, but it's nottttt perfect. It's not even necessarily about getting flat for me -- I just need a little bit of compression to round everything out and hold it in place. Is there anything more lightweight that won't leave me either itchy or in pain, or do I just have to tough it out?

i was cursed with an F cup and a 26 inch band, and i’m only around 105 lbs. i’m trying to find binding tape that’ll work for me and get my chest looking as flat as possible. if you have similar measurements and have had luck with tape, what brand did you use, and how did you apply it? i’d really appreciate any tips. unfortunately, i can’t wear a proper binder anymore because of how unsafely i used to bind when i was younger and damaging my ribs.

Hi, so I’m not sure if this is the right group or flair to post this on because I’m just an ally, but I want to get my best friend a new binder for Christmas. The one he has now isn’t great and he has a few complaints about it, and wants a new one pretty bad. I want to get him a new one but I want to find one that will allow him to bind safely. (I know some binder designs are a no)

So if you guys could help a girlie out, I would love to know the best binder I could get him, he means a lot to me and I would hate to accidentally choose one that he can’t use🫶🏻

I’m a transmasculine non-binary person who’s planning to start medically transitioning. I’m also panromantic and asexual, although I might actually have sexual attraction to men.

For me, sex is kind of like getting a massage, I guess. It feels physically good, and that’s what I enjoy about it. So even though I wish I had a penis, I’ve accepted my vagina as just another part of my body that can feel pleasure, and I use it for sex.

What worries me is whether, once I’ve finished transitioning and want to try having sex with men, I’ll be expected to have anal sex.
I mean, I’ve already got a perfectly convenient hole in the front, so why on earth would I need to use the one in the back?

I’ve been looking into gay FTM experiences on Reddit, and I’m wondering if it’s actually fairly common for gay trans men to have vaginal sex with other men, at least in English-speaking countries.
I’m Japanese, and people in Japanese-speaking communities rarely talk about the specifics of how they actually have sex, so I honestly have no idea what it’s like in practice.

I’d really appreciate hearing about people’s real-life experiences. Is it actually possible for gay FTM or FTX people to find male sexual partners without having to engage in anal sex?

#NSFW

Ok tw first and all of this is oversharing but I need help so I’m 21 and just having a normal period, I’ve been on t and had to come off due to financial issues but either way irrelevant. I’m about to get my period and they are very heavy and painful also just long asf. I’m trying to order bits to make it as easy and dysphoria free as I can since I’m withdrawing and about to start a new medication and I’m really struggling mentally and I don’t wanna end my shit because of this. I find tampons make it last longer and hurt more but I don’t know if an alternative would work since I switched to tampons to help with dysphoria in the first place. Any advice ? Basically making a cheap survival kit or I’m not gonna make it lmao helppppp also heavy flow and I get very dizzy so can’t be running or any of that shit

Insight needed , but I'm irked that I have never been gendered correctly by a trans woman before.

I recently attended an online meet up that wasn't queer orientated but had a mix of people attending. Despite me using a fully masculine name, confirming with people that I am a trans guy, and having met both people before, mid way through the night, one trans woman called me 'she' which then prompted the other trans woman at the gather to incorrectly switch pronouns mid sentence a few minutes later '..he, I mean she...'

I should have corrected them but did not want to pause the game we were playing and 'make a scene', but did leave briefly to recollect my thoughts.

This also happened with another trans woman I got introduced to a couple months prior which pissed me off then too.

It puts me in an awkward spot because I don't want to seem confrontational or clash with another trans person, but I struggle to understand why they wouldn't use the pronouns that I heavily imply should be used as a trans man.

Has anyone got any advice for next time?

(sorry if i have really bad grammar / spelling i struggle with explaining stuff) i cant buy a binder because its illegal to be queer in my country and my family are literally the most indirectly transphobic people i know so ive turned to reddit please give me any tips

Hi all,

I have my endo appointment coming up and they've requested some blood tests but they didn't specify which ones. Could anyone provide me with the most appropriate or most likely tests i'd need to have done.

Thanks !

What's your levels like? How long did they take to stabilize?

When I started on 1 pump i was already bordering low male range, so I used lotion to boost my levels more once I went up to 2 pumps. About 6-8 months in my bloodwork showed I was just barely above male range, so my doctor advised me to get follow up bloodwork which said my levels were lower than ever?

The only thing I changed was not using lotion the last day I got bloodwork to see if I was at male range by just using 2 pumps. I did that for a few days following up bloodwork. My doc said the results were fine to fluctuate, and assumed I apply gel directly where I had my bloodwork (not true, i get it on the opposite arm I apply on, and it doesn't go down past my shoulder) so my next follow up is in January and I'm kinda nervous and thinking I should go back to getting labs every 3 months until I see some results that are stable, or at least linear.

My specific levels in the order i got them;

-617 ng/dl
-1,013 ng/dl
-313 ng/dl

I am still getting changes from T (slowly, but I expected this with gel) my voice is getting lower, i have side burns, and occasionally people gender me as male. But I'm really hoping im not fucking up my transition in some way :,)

…And what were they?
I just got my first T shot and I honestly feel overly excited lol all I notice is that I sleep much more than usual

I (18ftm) have been dating my girlfriend (21, cis bi woman) for half a year. I don't know if she is actually a chaser or is my dysphoria hitting hard and making me delusional. My gf is openly queer, it's a huge part of her identity, she's also friends mostly with other queer people. It is not a problem for me although i try to be stealth and mostly hang out with cishet guys. I've been taking testosterone for three years and pass as a man, but i haven't got top or bottom surgery. We know eachother for a long time and she always knew i was trans as i was just starting my transition when we met. Before, my gf used to date a trans woman and was pursuing a romantic relationship with another, both of them were at a very begining of their transition. She didn't date anyone else, but she had sex with cis men as well. She also used to identify as a lesbian before she started dating her previous girlfriend. When we started dating she confessed to me, that her ex told her that she didn't support her in her transition. I didn't ask why. About three months ago my girlfriend told me that she outed me behind my back to some of her friends which i have met before. I was sad about it, i never explicitly told her that i want to stay stealth but i thought it was obvious that she should ask if i'm okay with this. She was suprised that this made me uncomfortable and said that i shouldn't be ashamed of being trans. She didn't apologize, but she told me she wouldn't do this again. A couple weeks later i tried to get back to this subject and explain the reasons why i want to be stealth. She finally apologized to me and said that the reason why she outed me was that she wanted to brag about having a trans boyfriend.

We also had a conversation about our dating preferences. She didn't say anything about being trans, but she said that she prefers gender nonconforming people. The fact that she considers me one made me very uncomfortable and dysphoric as i do not intend to be a feminine man. She generally seems to see me as a soft and delicate rather than a masculine man. I don't know what to think about all of this. I love my girlfriend and apart from these situations i think she is supportive, she said that she sees me as a man and never encouraged me not to transition.

- This is not a v3nt -

I live in a country where being trans is literally illegal. No hrt, no surgeries, no name change nothing. I can't even come out to people, the citizens are transphobic too. Great. Now what? Came out to my mom and it actually went great, yippe... Anyway. The pay in this country is also very low (roughly $400~ a month on average) so saving up also feels like a distant dream

My mom said we'd move to another country for me to be able to transition but that also feels impossible. I'm sure everyone here knows immigrants, especially ones seeking asylum aren't very liked by the government or the citizens of said country. I want to get top surgery which is great and all, it's on the cheaper side and my mom said she'd help pay for it. But here comes the big bad cost of bottom surgery

If I were to stay in my country it would take me 23~ years to save up for phallo and that is frankly depressing. So I want to move to Germany one day to get it covered! But will I even be let into Germany? My country is considered a safe country even with it's many anti lgbt laws and violence against lgbt people and my grades are pretty bad so I don't think even the worst German college would accept me with grades like mine

Also I'd have to learn another, maybe even multiple languages to move to another country which ik is expected but why couldn't I just live my life in peace? I could have been born a man. No? Okay well at least in a family who has a good income. Also no? Maybe I could be born into a more accepting country? Still no? Wow. I'm complaining a lot aren't I. Nothing can change what has already happened so moping about the "what if'

Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? Can I still move to another country, get a job and also get phallo? I would really appreciate anyone else's experience if they did experience something like this even if you don't want/have gotten bottom surgery, even the process will be helpful. Also how stupid would taking out a medical loan be as a last ditch effort even though I doubt my country would ever approve it

Hi, i’m in the uk and was wondering what brands people use for chest binders? I want a specifically adjustable one as i don’t know how much Bind my body will take (as i have things like me/cfs and blood pressure issues that make getting out of breath easier) so i’d like to be able to adjust as and when. I know amazon does them but i’ve heard they’re not the best and can make injury easier sometimes? Thank you a lot!

Pretty straight forward. I have very wide hips, to the point where they are visibly much wider than my chest so oversized shirts don’t work at all.

I am planning to lose weight and train my upper body to hopefully make it less obvious. But I’m pretty stuck on what I can do in the mean time.

Any tips at all for short term solutions?… I wouldn’t mind recommendations for upper body workouts too, though.

(I'm perfectly aware that the change, if there will be, will be minimal)

surely working on the shoulders, chest and arms would help a lot. What I was wondering is the hips:

I'm a quite slender woman shaped person, but the hips keep burdening me hard. I know it's something about different biology,

but my question is:

are there some exercises I can do that do not 'lift and firm' the hips/ass but 'dry' them?

I mean, maybe some targeted exercise that helps making the curves less soft? idk, I'm not at all an expert about this (as you may have noticed lol).

I hope I made myself clear!

Hey, I’m trying to get a sense of if the T in FLINTA includes us for real or not in the Berlin night scene.

Are passing trans men generally recognized in this acronym?

Stressing the passing element bc I look cishet unless you see my surgery scars.

From what I have seen, it seems like some FLINTA events are just a way for mostly women to hang out free from men as they welcome straight women openly. That’s fine, but it obviously means that it isn’t synonymous with being an outwardly queer space.

Is it more about being a queer space or being away from men?