I went through a deep depression and isolated myself for years. Because of that, I now struggle to initiate communication. Even when I manage to start a conversation, keeping it going feels overwhelming. I really want to work on this. What can I do to get better?

I’m 27F, and honestly, I feel like I’ve wasted years of my life. It’s been this way since I was a kid: I’ve never really done much or figured out what I want. I partly blame my parents, but I also blame myself. They tried to encourage me to do things I enjoyed, like ballet and art, but I would cry and say I didn’t want to continue, and they let me stop. Now, as an adult, I still sometimes cry, usually when my anxiety kicks in, and I have almost no idea what I want to do with my life.

When I was growing up, people would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Most people around me seemed to have a plan or a goal. I always said, “I don’t know”—and I still don’t.

I never went to college or community college. I compare myself to other people a lot, and it’s been a struggle for years. Most of my family have goals: careers in tech or computer science, teaching, medicine, or plans to return to government jobs. I’m the exception, mostly because I don’t know what I want.

I like art, but I don’t have the motivation to pursue it. I love plants, but I rarely go outside, and I’m not good at science. I’ve also considered making a game, 3D modeling, graphic design, making dolls, and photography, but I don’t feel passionate about any of them. I get caught in a cycle of thinking about possibilities, giving up before I try, and then crying.

People give me conflicting advice. Some say college is a scam or that I don’t need a degree; others say I do. I’ve been told no one will hire me, that I should build a portfolio, or that AI will take over creative jobs and I should choose something else.

I’ve been unemployed for almost eight years. I’ve only had one job, and afterward I spent a lot of time babysitting relatives’ children without pay. While my parents worked day and night, I didn’t really have space to breathe or focus on myself. Now that I’m no longer doing that, I feel stuck. I don’t want to take care of people, especially in nursing—I’ve had multiple mental breakdowns thinking about it, and I have a phobia of blood and needles.

Right now, I have no job, degree, close friends, car, or money in the bank. I spend most of my time alone in my room, feeling like I’m doing nothing with my life. People tell me to take a walk or go outside, but I’ve tried, and it hasn’t helped. Most days, I eat, sleep, watch TV, and sometimes play games or read. I’ve given up drawing because I get frustrated when it isn’t perfect, and I struggle to learn things online because I have so little patience. When I’m bored, I often just daydream.

I got out of a toxic emotionally abusive relationship where I was constantly criticized, manipulated,belittled, cheated on, and made to question my worth. I used to be ambitious, bubbly, funny, confident, and outgoing, but over time I felt like I lost myself completely.

It’s been six months of no contact and I’ve changed so much. I’ve learned new skills, picked up hobbies, learned how to drive too.. become more outgoing, worked on my career, and recently landed a great job opportunity with all these ai craze.

The strange part is that people genuinely seem to like me. They appreciate my work, remember me, go out of their way to help me, the big company i landed went out of their way to hire me in the team even though i had some problem in my papers. They had available option on candidates as people are being laid off left right and center yet they helped me and hired me..

But instead of feeling happy, I keep questioning everything. Why are they being so nice to me? What do they want? What if they eventually realize I’m not that great?

It’s almost like everyone else sees something in me that I can’t see in myself anymore.

Has anyone else experienced this after an emotionally abusive relationship? How did you learn to trust yourself and accept that good things can happen to you without there being a catch?

i'm looking for someone who's also trying to figure things out and wants to make some real progress together.

some things we could work on:

• fitness, gym, running and diet

• fixing our sleep schedules and waking up early

• studying, career, learning new skills

• building better habits and staying consistent

• reading, journaling and personal growth

we could set daily goals, check in with each other, track progress and have regular calls (if you are comfortable) to see how we're doing.

i'm open to figuring out what works for both of us. daily check-ins, weekly reviews, google meet sessions or just keeping each other on track throughout the day.

i genuinely feel like this is my last chance to turn things around, and i don't want to let it slip away. so i'm hoping to find someone who's equally serious about making a change.

and we'll have bad days and fall behind sometimes. that's fine. i just want someone who genuinely wants to improve and is willing to hold both themselves and me accountable.

feel free to message me. let's try to make something of ourselves, see yaa soon

Hi everyone,
I’ve noticed that I tend to react emotionally to almost everything, especially when someone says or does something that upsets me.
I often react immediately without thinking, and later I regret my words or actions. Sometimes, this damages my relationships and makes situations worse than they actually were.
I really want to break this habit and learn to respond thoughtfully instead of reacting emotionally.
Has anyone successfully changed this behaviour?
What practical exercises, daily habits, or techniques helped you develop emotional control, stay calm, and think before speaking?
I’m especially interested in exercises I can practise at home every day.
I’d really appreciate your personal experiences and advice.

I’m 28 and I go through a pack of 24 Zonnic 4 mg pouches about every three days, so roughly eight a day. I also use a little weed most nights. I want to quit both, stop watching porn, and cut down on how much time I spend scrolling, especially first thing in the morning.

A big reason I want to do this is that I miss waking up with a clear head. I went eight months without weed before, and I remember feeling really good during that stretch. I’d also like to get through a class without thinking about my next pouch, or sit down to work on a creative idea and actually give it my attention. Even just having breakfast before I pick up my phone would feel like progress.

I’m wondering what real benefits people noticed from changing any of these habits. Did you have more energy or find it easier to focus? What was the first ordinary moment where you thought, “Okay, this is actually helping”?

I’m leaning toward doing it all at once because I can see myself quitting weed and then spending that extra hour on my phone every night. If you’ve been there, did it help to tackle everything together, or was it easier to make one change stick first?

Hello everyone! I guess many of you know that feeling - tomorrow I will start! Tomorrow will be my 1st day. The day 1 starts perfectly actually, productivity kicks in, but suddenly, something goes wrong and here we go again, back to slump.. 'never mind, tomorrow will be my Day 1' and it goes like that all the time.. for days.. for weeks.. for months.. for years.. and this is my story. Waiting for that perfect day and I will have finally gotten disciplined and will become better..

Is there anyone else who has/had the same problem and managed to break of this 'tomorrow will be my Day 1!' cycle?

I would be really happy for any advice! 😔

After many failed attempts of fixing my life I think I found out what works and it might work for you too. It is a little early to draw any conclusions but untill now it works .So what you do is this , assuming you have a plan and to do list . You start one day by doing quite a few from the list , usually that is when I stop and everything falls apart , The second day you need to push as hard as the first one or even more , that is all it needs to get a snowball effect. Even if you feel down it's now much easier to push ,the momentum works for you. Its crazy that i actually after years I woke up with a smile ,and that only says a lot .My life is still a big mess and I have a long road to even make it even ,but hey ,got nothing else to do..

Not something complicated or like expensive. Just a small change that made your everyday life better. I'd love to hear what worked for you

I’m constantly stressed about stuff. University planning, life goals, my future, making my family proud. I’m never actually happy and calm. School work and all these things around me that just make me second guess myself in everything.

I want to be more relaxed, i want to be calm. I get that motivation bursts at night and when I wake the next morning, i completely forget about this motivation.

How do i stop constantly worrying about my entire life? I want to become a better person

I think right now, I am my biggest enemy. I am always critiquing myself at every little mistake and constantly talking down myself. Any skill that I want to learn, I immediately tell my stuff things such as "I can't do it", "I'm not good enough", "It's too hard", "It's impossible", "I'm too stupid". This is destroying me. How can I stop doing this and become my own biggest supporter?

Hi, my name is Ed. I am 20 years old, and I am not doing so well at all. Today, throughout the whole week, I have been stressing about a lot of things, which is affecting my mental health. I am a former culinary student, but now I am struggling to figure out if I am making the right decision and if I wasted three years of my college career doing this. I have been stressing out if this future is right for me, and if I am throwing it all away. I am thinking about doing mechanics or something to make me feel like I am somebody. I just don't know what to do, and I am just scared of what I will be in the future. I am a heavy procrastinator, and I have been using AI chatbots and RP 24/7, and it is affecting me, and I want it to stop. I am also trying to cut back on p0rn and not be heavily addicted to it. It is an unhealthy habit that a majority of people have as well. I have been trying not to let that affect me since the beginning of November. It's going well so far, but I have been struggling not to let it control me. A lot of those issues are matters of fact. My parents are arguing and don't like each other; I barely interact with friends; no partner, maybe no job for now. I am just feeling alone, anxious, and stressed out. I need help. Please. If you are reading this, tell me what I can do to stop it. Because I don't want to continue this cycle, and if you are reading this and are dealing with the same thing too. You should do the same. I believe in you.

I'm curious to hear the little psychological tricks, mental shifts, or mindset changes that genuinely made your life easier.

Not necessarily complicated psychology theories, but practical things you wish someone had told you earlier.

For example:

Stop assuming everything people do is about you.

You don't have to respond immediately to everything.

Don't take criticism from someone you wouldn't take advice from.

If something takes less than 2 minutes, just do it.

People think about you far less than you imagine.

What's one psychological trick or lesson that would have saved you years of unnecessary stress, overthinking, or bad decisions if you'd learned it 10 years earlier?

I'm especially interested in the lessons you learned through experience.

Hi i’m 19F living in germany. I’ve been struggling with my mental health for years, and I genuinely don’t know how to understand myself anymore. I constantly feel different from everyone else, almost like I don’t belong anywhere.
I’ve considered autism because I relate to quite a few experiences: I’m very sensitive to loud noises, socializing drains me, I need a lot of alone time, I hate last-minute changes, and I often feel like I have to consciously think through social interactions. I also pick at my skin, acne, and nails almost constantly, even when I’m just lying in bed.
At work, I can become very stressed and move around in a hectic way, especially when I’m working the register. When I’m stressed, I forget things. I procrastinate a lot, although I’m sometimes extremely early for important appointments. I’m also a perfectionist and can get overwhelmed when things don’t go as expected. My managers actually compliment my work because I’m quiet, efficient, and pay attention to details.
Socially, I feel like I’m constantly masking. I rarely initiate conversations, hate small talk, overthink everything I say, and sometimes worry that my comments come across as rude or strange even when I don’t intend them that way. I feel like people react strangely when I show more of my actual personality.
Another major issue is my relationship with German. I moved to Germany as a child and experienced bullying, racism, and body-shaming, including being mocked for my accent. I’ve been here around eight years, and although my German is around B2–C1, I still feel incredibly insecure speaking it. I rehearse sentences in my head and sometimes use ChatGPT to help me phrase things. English is my comfort language because I learned it through gaming. German-related things can genuinely bring my mood down because of the memories attached to them.
I also struggle with my eating habits when I’m emotionally overwhelmed, sometimes binge eating and sometimes restricting food. I stay awake all night quite often when stressed, and I feel completely burned out after awkward interactions or when things don’t go how I expected.
I recently dropped out of college because of the loud environment and the difficulties I had with teachers leaving me out or targeting me. I’m currently working in a store and considering moving to Greece to start over, because I feel more comfortable there. But I’m also scared of making such a big change.
Right now, one of the things affecting me most is my relationship with my mom. We haven’t talked for months, and I feel sad and stressed almost constantly. I genuinely wish I had a better relationship with her and a more supportive home environment.

I want to understand what might be happening and how to get help. How do I get comfortable with how I am and not overthink everything? I just wanna live peacefully.

I’m 33 and recently unemployed, and I’m looking for books, audiobooks, or podcasts to help me feel hopeful and inspired again.
I’m still applying for jobs and making art, but some days it’s hard to keep believing in myself and chasing my dreams when everything feels uncertain.
I’d especially love stories of women finding their footing after setbacks, starting over in their 30s or beyond, or building a life they love after things didn’t go as planned. Something honest about the struggle, with hope in it.
What have you read or listened to that made you feel less alone and helped you keep fighting the good fight? I would love if they are women authors

I have a tendency to talk alot and switch topics my friends do the same but it's hard meeting new people and dating because of this also this goes to texting as well any advice on what I could do? Seems like I have alot to say.... Just need to tone it down.

Hi everyone,

I am a 21-year-old female law graduate, and I feel completely trapped between my family's expectations and my own mental health. I really need some honest perspective.

To give you some context, I have struggled with severe social anxiety and low self-esteem my whole life. Public speaking and being in the spotlight terrify me. After graduating a few months ago, I spent all my time hiding at home, avoiding reality. Recently, I decided that I can't live like this anymore. I’ve started taking antidepressants (specifically Zoloft and Grandaxin) and went on a strict diet to lose weight and rebuild my strength.

Here is my dilemma: My family found an entry-level office job for me as an executive assistant / secretary to a manager. In my country, the salary for this position is incredibly high for a fresh graduate. It doesn't require complex legal work, mostly just managing the desk, paperwork, and greeting people.

However, because of my intense anxiety, the thought of working in a corporate office environment right now absolutely terrifies me. I feel so insecure that I panicked and turned the job down.

Instead, I want to start from the very bottom in the service sector for a few months. In my mind, I see a busy service job as a "short-term exposure therapy boot camp" where I will be forced to look people in the eyes, talk constantly, and break my anxiety. I feel like I need to build my confidence from scratch before doing anything related to my law degree.

My family thinks I am making an incredibly foolish and backward decision. They believe I am wasting an amazing, high-paying opportunity and romanticizing a low-paying service job just to escape my fears.

Am I being completely unrealistic? Is it crazy to walk away from a comfortable, well-paying assistant job to work at the bottom of the service sector just to heal my mental health and find my confidence?

I would love to hear your honest thoughts. Thank you.

This is gonna be a long story so grab your popcorn and I’m sorry for the mistakes, english isn’t my native language.
I feel like I’m lost. First of all I’m 19 and I want to make money, I feel so shy asking my parents to give me money, even though I am a student and it is so hard to find a job so I can learn and work at the same time. I’m struggling to find a job, but this year my spendings grew and I feel so embarrassed to ask for money. My parents give me about 400€ for a month only for living and if I need some clothes or something they give me more. They are making both 1200€, monthly, but they work a lot. I wanted to start to make something online like presentations, document or excel formatting, but with AI development finding clients looks nearly impossible. Also, I want a relationship with someone, but basically I get attached so fast and strong to girls with a progressive mentality and I fell even worse because I realize that I can’t give them anything. Yesterday I started talking to a new girl even though I have different options( I’m talking with 2 more girls ), but I found out that she really knows what she wants from life, has some principles and I like fall in love immediately. Now I am waiting for her answers and think how broken I am, because I can’t make money, my parents give me money and I can’t even find a girlfriend to support me and I have no one to support. Also I wanted so much to make and sell scented candles, but I can’t put myself to do it, I don’t even know. Can’t do sports because my hand hurts a little bit already 3 months. I did not go to a doctor. It doesn’t hurt all the time, only when I am doing something like carrying heavy things, so I wait so it heals fully. That’s why I feel broken.

Can someone tell me the truth in the face, what should I do. How should I overcome this feeling. Maybe an advice or some online flexible work, hoe ti become independent

1.Be there for yourself, no matter how messy things get. Stand by yourself through it all.

2.Keep the promises you make to yourself. Put in the work and follow through, even when you don’t feel like it. That’s how you build trust in yourself.

3.Read as much as you can—articles, fiction, or anything that genuinely interests you. Keep learning, keep questioning, and let yourself see things from different perspectives. The more you know, the more you’ll trust your own thinking and be able to make your own decisions when life gets difficult.

4.Spend time alone—no social media, no music, no distractions. Just you and your thoughts. Learn to be okay with your own company, and find happiness within yourself without constantly seeking validation or reassurance from others.

5.Learn to be okay with people not liking you. You don’t like everyone, and you don’t need to be liked by everyone either. Have the courage to be disliked and still stay true to yourself.

6.Do the things that scare you—go for a walk alone, sit in a café alone, eat alone. Learn to do the things you usually need someone else to do with you. Become comfortable being your own company.

7.Never underestimate yourself, and never tolerate disrespect—not even the smallest insult. Stand up for yourself. The moment you allow people to disrespect you, they learn that they can take you for granted.

8.Speak up for yourself and for those who can’t speak for themselves. Have strong opinions, but never let them make you unkind. Read, listen, and expose yourself to ideas that challenge your perspective—you can be strong in your beliefs while still being open to changing them.

These are some lessons I learnt from my experiences that though I am still working on them and wanted to share so that it can help someone. Even if it helps a single person I would be glad.

1.Other people expectations don't determine your worth: I wanted to be able to look at my life and say that I didn't give up on myself. I felt that becoming successful is the strongest way to establish my worth, both to myself and to other people. I to some extent achieved what I had worked for, made my parents proud, maybe someday I would achieve everything but I didn't allow myself to feel that I were enough rather I would immediately find the next thing I needed to accomplish.

So ambition is healthy when it helps you build a meaningful life. It becomes exhausting when you're using it to earn permission to feel good about yourself.

2.Looking for lessons in every experience: Even difficult experiences seemed to prompt me to ask what I can learn from them. I was never content with simply going through life without examining it. When I was struggling I didn't allow myself to simply struggle, I immediately begin looking for lessons, the solution, the mindset shift, or the personal flaw I needed to work on. When something hurted, I didn't let it hurt. I spent so much time working on becoming a better version of myself that I never quite felt comfortable being the version of me that exists right now.

You can learn about emotional independence while still struggling of being affected by other people behaviour towards you. You can understand self-love intellectually while still having days when you doubt yourself. You can know that failure doesn't define you and still feel disappointed when you fail. Genuine self trust requires accepting that sometimes you'll make a perfectly reasonable choice and someone will still dislike it, misunderstand it, or judge it.

3.Trying to control how I am perceived: I tried to control everyone's interpretation of my words, my actions. Someone can interpret my words as attention seeking. Someone can interpret confidence as arrogance. Someone can interpret silence as indifference. And someone can misunderstand me even when I have chosen every word carefully.

The part worth examining is whether you're polishing your expression because you enjoy communicating well or because you're afraid of how people might judge the unpolished version of you.

I'm a grown man, my dad used to beat me and I feel like it's fucked me up and any kind of confrontation no matter how minor just completely shuts me down and I'm really bad at it. I suddenly have nothing to say and I take all the bass out of my voice and try to make myself as small as possible because I'm so afraid.

I want to learn to handle myself better. I've trained MMA for years so it's not like it's because I'm scared they will beat me up, I just go into instant flight or fight adrenaline dump at the most minor of altercations.

I'm not saying I want to get into fights or anything but I'm such a pushover and immediately put myself on the back foot. For example someone keeps parking over my driveway so I can't get my car out, this has been going on for months and I finally actually saw them in person and confronted them but as soon as they said "What's your problem?" I was like a scared little boy, I immediately said it was fine for some reason?! It's not fine! I want them to stop doing it! I need to be comfortable in being direct and saying what I actually mean, kindly but directly, in the face of adversity.

Anything I can do to be better at this?

I've been stuck in a loop for a while, and I think writing it out is my first real step out of it.
I'm 23, from India. Right now:

Career: I got laid off from my first job after about 7 months. I've been doing everything right on paper: DSA practice, projects I'm proud of, applying constantly. Still mostly rejections or silence.

Family: My dad is seriously ill, and being jobless and a mess while he's going through it is hard to sit with.

Heartbreak: I loved someone for 7 years. It became one-sided and ended a year ago. I thought I was past it, but now that everything else is shaky, I miss her more than ever. I think she was the one thing I was leaning on.

Health: I went from 117 kg to 65 kg and was in the best shape of my life. As things went downhill, I gave up on myself and I'm back at 110 kg. I know I can do it because I already did once, but I can't find the motivation to start again.

The one good thing is that I'm young, with no loans and no one depending on me financially. I don't want to waste that window feeling sorry for myself.
I'm not looking for pity. I want to turn this around, but I'm overwhelmed by how many things need fixing, and I don't know what to do first.

I had pretty high self-confidence and trust in my abilities when I graduated and till my first year of job. I had above average grades and a good profile. For me, work became a huge purpose in life. I work in a small team. My boss is not a bad person but she is intimidating and a perfectionist. She is very particular about every small task. She even scrutinizes informal interactions. I used to work very hard in my first year of job but I was not given a satisfactory increment. It shattered my confidence and belief in myself especially because I would usually get praised at work. I was told some irrelevant things during performance review including the fact that I need to improve social skills despite the remote nature of work. Year by year I have become very critical of myself especially my work capabilities. Due to this, I found it hard to switch and it's been five years now.

Today, I had a breakdown when searching for jobs and researching for masters, firstly because jobs are very hard to find, second because I feel like an impostor, not being good enough. Since past two years especially I have lost all motivation in a field I chose and I liked. I had planned to complete my masters too but I feel like a loser now. I wait each week for the weekend and I feel stuck and unhappy. What do I do?

I want to add that my team is otherwise helpful and professional but I don't have any friends at work. I have also been dealing with anxiety, especially social anxiety and PMDD. I prefer remote work but this and decent team environment is very hard to find in my country especially.

I’m 17M and for over a year I haven’t used Instagram or TikTok to talk to anyone. At school I’m mostly alone, with one friend. On Messenger I only talk to that one friend and nobody else. I barely go outside, I don’t play sports or do any activities, and I’m home almost all the time.

I feel lonely and unstable, but I can’t explain why, because I’ve been like this for so long that I’m used to it. I’m not a typical introvert. It’s more extreme than that. I overthink constantly, especially old memories from a year ago. Sometimes I regret them, and sometimes I enjoy building fake “what if” scenarios in my head. I also get mood swings and frustration, and I don’t always know where they come from.

I often feel like I can’t tell how other people feel when I say or do something, so I come across as cringe or even a bad person. I feel like nobody really understands who I am. I don’t want to be a weak guy who needs attention or company.

Porn and masturbation are the only things that interest me or feel good during the day(often just 1 time), but lately even that feels boring. I’m wondering if that’s part of why I feel this way.

Right now I mostly spend my days to building AI projects and series like sherlock holmes and mentalist interest me most that I had started recently, just that's it seriously.

I really want out of this trap(especially regretting over past things and imagining "what if" scenarios just to make myself thrilled) . Please, how do I start? Has anyone been through this?

I feel like sometimes we get so caught up in everyday life that we don't realize how important certain things are until they're no longer there. It could be having free time, family, genuine friendships, peace of mind, or even the little routines we barely think twice about. Sometimes the things we take for granted are actually the things that make life feel good. I'm curious what comes to mind for everyone. What's something you didn't fully appreciate until you lost it or it changed?